10.33am, Caoimhe and Govan are in the kitchen. Josie and Shabby are in the bathroom, having a natter about the events from the night before. Shabby confides that she feels like a 'right wally' today!
JOSIE: (Having a scrub in the tub) That took a lot of courage.. you've told her, haven't you?
Shabby didn't feel that she really had a choice because of Ife's motormouth! :P Although she feels that the reaction was 'kinda positive and she seems to feel okay.. and I feel really sh*t!' She had wanted to tell her in her own time.
JOSIE: You feel worse? (Shabby nods) Oh, shut up!
SHABBY: Feel like 12 years old (Josie chuckles) Like I'm 24, man.. I know I act like I'm 15 most of the time, but I am actually 24 and there is somewhere in my head that I'm a grown up!
Caoimhe comes in at the inopportune moment, while she is being discussed, which inevitably leads to Josie bursting out with laughter and Shabby telling her to f**k off! Caoimhe inquires why they are laughing.
JOSIE: (Fails miserably to change the subject) Sorry.. weather's lovely innit? (laughs more)
CAOIMHE: (Senses the awkward atmosphere) Shall I leave? I'll leave..
JOSIE: No, no.. don't be silly, don't be stupid!
Govan has come to the Diary room distressed to inform BB that he wants to go home and demands 'so, sort it please!' Govan goes on to say that he is just not happy and that he is missing people he cares about. He feels exhausted all the time, hasn't had a proper night's sleep since getting there and has 'gone into this hole!' He views some things as personal that he can't talk to strangers about.
GOVAN: Feel very scared (as he believes some people who know him from the black community are not going to appreciate him being on the show) .. being me.. and that scares me a little bit..
BB urges him to chat to another HM, so he decides he will try to speak things over with Corin. But if he still feels that he genuinely wants to go, he is to come back to the Diary room. 11.03am, Ife and Govan are in the living room. Ife instantly notices that he is down and asks what she can do to help 'you can just talk at me, if you want.'
IFE: (Sagely recommends) Get your thoughts together and think of something good! Not just be comfortable in your own misery!
Shabby and Caoimhe share a snigger in the garden. Shabby plans to come to Dublin to meet Caoimhe's boyfriend, shake his hand and apologise for perving on his girlfriend! :D Caoimhe is certain Dave will be grand as he's very easy-going but she has to deal with lots of girls fancying him.
CAOIMHE: He's quite the babe!
SHABBY: Are you a really spunky hunky couple?
CAOIMHE: Yeah!
Shabby is pretty sure she's no longer seeing the girl she was prior to coming in the house. Caoimhe confirms nobody has really told her anything like that before. This makes Shabby really embarrassed again and they have some awkward hugs.
11.23am, Caoimhe and Shabby are in the bathroom. All Caoimhe's panic about the outside has gone knowing she has Shabby here. Dave, John, Ben and Sunshine are at the sofas and Ben wonders what their group will be known as collectively by the outside world.
JOHN: (Stretches) I reckon, it will be the Lion, the Witch and the Wizard!
BEN: (Stumped) Who are you, then?
JOHN: (Asserts) I'm the lion! (Then growls in a rather unferocious manner and throws some object at Josie as she walks through the bathroom door with a towel round her waist.. wanting her attention as always!!)
Dave banters that Benny can be the wardrobe, which has Ben inaccurately pondering 'why? Because everyone tried to get inside me?' Not even in your wildest, WILDEST dreams Benny lover :P He labels Caoimhe, Ife and Shabby - The Addams family. Sunshine thought they were the rag dolls!
JOHN: No, that's what they like to be called .. you don't call them what they wanna be called!!
Sunshine asks what the other groups are and suggests they may be stamped as the 'non-smoking group' which John dismisses decisively.
JOHN: For some reason, I don't think we're called the non-smoking group on the outside (laughs).. I think that's a little too polite! (climbs across the table)
BEN: Do you think we're called the whingers?
JOHN: I think it'll be slightly worse than that as well!
SUNSHINE: (Seizes the opportunity to ask while John leaves momentarily) Does our group include Govan and Josie now?
Ben believes they are half-way between 2 groups but Steve sides with them. John returns to the conversation.
JOHN: He is not! He isn't! Steve's not with anyone. (Dave decides that Steve is a floater but has more links to them which John doesn't dispute)I don't like the divide, cos I think it makes us just as bad as them.
Ben states that The Addams Family are just going to get worse and worse. Cue, Dave and John whistling the theme tune and then cuts to Shabby singing in the bathroom - spooky coincidence? Clever cutting and editing by the producers? OR had she just overheard the whistles?
I feel in the same position that Dave and John described of Steve being between 2 groups.. sometimes it would be easier if I could be an only John/Josie supporter but I have spent too long now being a joint supporter.. I wouldn't and COULDN'T choose between them and why should I ever have to? I like them both, so shall stay on my merry way supporting the same as I have for over 18 months.
This is why I like our haven on the JJJAT (and QAT too now!) so very, very much. We are lucky to have this community of like-minded friends on the internet that we stumbled upon because of our fondness of 2 people who chanced to meet.. mostly it has a special spirit about it.. so it saddens me that people are still trying to spoil what we have, deter us from the things we post and try to make us feel like we are deluded weirdos (ONLY Jose gets to call us that!!!) :D
Of course, ubers will always exist on either side .. but this doesn't mean that allllllll the just Josie or just John supporters think/feel/behave the same way they do. It is difficult not to brand groups of people with the same stick, or tarred brush but I try.The twitter divide gets far toooooo nasty, which seems silly as most of us started on the JJJAT back in the day. No matter what your opinions are, or how they differ or change from day to day - they aren't worth ruining friendships over!
11.50am, some of the HM's are in the living room.. Ben likes honey-glazed pork and Nathan confirms that on the menu for dinner there is honey-glazed pasta. Sunshine asks him to make sure she doesn't have any and yaks on about how she can't have honey. John either cannot comprehend why this is even knowing she is a vegan, or he merely felt like yanking Sunshine's chain!!
JOHN: Why can't you have honey?
SUNSHINE: Cos I don't have anything that comes from an animal.
JOHN: What animal does honey come from?
SUNSHINE: (States the obvious!) A BEE!
JOHN: (Smugly squabbles) I'm pretty sure a bee isn't an animal.. a bee is an insect!
So Sunshine maintains that she doesn't eat ANYTHING from a living being. Ben says if she takes it to that extreme, plants are living beings and Dave winds her up too that crisps are made from potatoes which are a plant!
Corin and Govan are in the nest, he confides in her about why he is feeling so low. Govan affirms that he 'can't be anyone else other than what I am' as it just doesn't work and how he doesn't care about what the majority of the public think of him.. but he DOES over the opinions of those he cares about. He is especially concerned, as he considers the Black community to be very judgmental. He had a dream the previous night that he got out and was lynched by them :(
CORIN: It doesn't matter about people's culture, it's people in general that are judgmental.. it doesn't matter where you're from, you're always gonna get judgmental people! (She also believes there are people like them who take others on the chin!)
Govan feels trapped in a hole that he can't climb out of. Corin unravels the cryptic clues and guesses that people think he is gay. After he tells her he knows some say 'he's queer' and elaborates that things like this are a huge deal to people in a West Indian community.
GOVAN: That's not me saying I am.. but naturally people think that about me.. people who live that kind of lifestyle don't bother me.. I'm very comfortable with myself.. and although people at home, may have already thought that of me.. it's different for me coming on here, hearing other people may be questioning me on that .. and they're gonna get things in their head without me turning around and saying and making a statement myself (that it would be different if he came out and said he was gay) It bothers me that people will think that and just judge me automatically on it!
Govan thinks it's crazy, but if Corin had lived a few years of his life she would understand where he was coming from. Corin presses if *this* is the massive thing that has been doing his head in and reveals that it was hard for her telling her Mum she was in a relationship with a woman.
CORIN: It's nobody's business! You've gotta get strong, (she doesn't think anything will be different even if he goes in 5 weeks but he can stop being down make the most of it, lad! (she hugs him as he weeps)
GOVAN: I know it sounds sad.. but this is like a life.. kinda dream.. and it makes me upset.. more than upset, it makes me angry that things like this are ruining it for me (continues to cry) It's just not fair, Corin!
Corin squeezes him and encourages him to get it all out.
Unfortunately, we do live in a scarily critical and judgmental society - this is fact. There is no escaping from it! I try my utmost not to judge others, as I would not like to be judged myself.. particularly by those who don't know anything about me, my life, my struggles, my weaknesses, hardships, successes, NOTHING! But we are all humans so it is natural to form opinions and first impressions are a reflex.. we do NOT however, have to share every unkind thought or shove it down the throat of the person it is concerning..
I know that by going onto a show like BB, you are opening yourself up to the opinions of 2 million+ viewers - good, bad and indifferent.. it comes with the territory and the HM's would have fully expected that there are bound to be some who would not like them at all! The show psychologists, prepare each contestant to be on the receiving end of cruel press etc. etc.. but even so, it can't have been the best feeling for any HM, to leave the show and read back negative articles about themselves :(
BRACE YOURSELVES FOR A BUMPY RIDE, GIRLS AND LOYS!!! READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION AS THE CONTENT WILL NOT BE THE MOST 'FUN!' REMEMBER THIS IS ALL THE EDITED HL VERSION OF EVENTS .. I DID WATCH IT ALL GO DOWN LIVE THAT DAY, BUT CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IS MISSED OUT AS IT WAS SO LONG AGO!!
6.01pm, Corin is in the bathroom (painting her talons!) Most of the HM's are in the bedroom. Josie and Govan are having a giggle in their bed, at John's expense (John is in his own double bed, suffering from a particularly bad migraine or possible sun stroke)
JOSIE: What do you think smells worse, John.. your feet or your breath?
JOHN: I don't have smelly breath!
JOSIE: Alright, so your breath then? (Govan and Josie crease up unaware of John's pounding headache)
JOHN: (Irritably) I could reeeeally rip into you.. you're lucky I'm not!
JOSIE: (Slightly taken aback) What?? I could beat you up..
JOHN: I could really get hard but I'm not going to..
JOSIE: (Tries to joke with him) Only cos you know I could beat you up! (She and Govan continue to laugh)
JOHN: Bog off! I could reeeeeeeeeally get nasty so..
JOSIE: Only cos you know, (impersonates his Aussie accent) 'if you wanna go, I'll go!'
JOHN: (Threatens) Alright, I'll give you a couple more goes, then I'll give you a warning.
JOSIE: (Ignores his threats) What did you mutter under your smelly breath there, John?
All these comments are ones that her and Govan had previously bantered with John over.. and although he doesn't like comments of this nature, he had taken them all in good humour prior to this. I think Josie and Govan thought they were being funny and hadn't maliciously set out to upset John.. also, to my knowledge they weren't aware of his thumping headache at this point. Both John and Josie have it within them to go 'hard' and get reeeeeeeeeeeeally nasty - we've seen this from each of them on several occasions.
JOHN: You're talking out of your fat arse, shush!
JOSIE: (Mishears) My fat head? (Repeats her Oz accent) That's not very nice!
JOHN: (Takes immense pleasure in correcting her) I didn't say head, I said arse - SHHHH!
GOVAN: (The penny drops that John is deadly serious) Oh my God!
JOHN: If you want me to keep going, I will go..
JOSIE: (Still messing in a jokey manner) John, do you like your teeth? (as they had joked together about this phrase the other night)
JOHN: (Getting angrier and angrier now) Do not get me started about teeth, cos I will have a field day!!
JOSIE: (The realisation is beginning to dawn upon her) Why? What's the matter with my teeth? (Shabby and Caoimhe are listening to the war of words from their shared bed at the opposite end of the room. Shabby sits bolt upright in shock)
JOHN: It's what's right with them! Now SSSSHHHHHH! If you want to keep going, I'll go.. but if not, just shut the f**k up!
Trading off insults that they KNEW were insecurities they had confided in each other, only a couple of days before this.None of them nice, whether meant in jest or not and especially when you're not in the mood and feeling like crap!
CAOIMHE: What a little pr*ck!
JOHN: Josie, at least wait until my headache's gone! (Josie is silent and starts doing her make up. John turns around as she hasn't retaliated like he'd anticipated, to see what she's doing) (Nastily) Do you honestly think that's gonna f**king help? (implying that the cosmetics will not have an improvement on her appearance, the hurt caused by this comment is visible on her face) Just put it away.. shut the f**k up and go to sleep!
JOSIE: Who are you talking to, John?
JOHN: (Unkindly) Who do you reckon?
JOSIE: (Retorts) Go and sort your f**king hair out!
JOHN: (Cruelly) Don't get me started on f**king hair! You look like a leopard with that re-growth! (laughs) If you wanna..
JOSIE: (oOOH she's getting angry now!) You're one to talk.. you're a fine one to talk! Go and sort your mullet out, John! (John scoffs and smirks) Pr*ck!
JOHN: (His lowest jibe yet) At the end of the day, I can cut my hair but you can't do anything about that face! (John gets up from bed)
GOVAN: (Horrified at the insult) You've got a lovely face, he's just being mean! (Josie laughs)
JOSIE: I couldn't give a toss! (But clearly CAN! The rest of the smokers go out to the bench)
I can picture them having similar arguments in their relationship, one gets irritated or angry about something (not necessarily that the other did) but then taking it out on each other, as they didn't really have anyone else in their little JJJ-Land. The simmering volcano, begins to boil as the snide digs build up, each time trying to outdo themselves and be slightly crueler than the previous comment.. before erupting in full out anger, shouting louder and louder, not holding back what they think.. hitting each other exactly where it hurts, knowing the type of comments that will inflict the most pain upon their partner :( the ones they will take most to heart.
Not only tearing each other apart, but making themselves feel crap inside too. Possibly thinking, if they really did love each other, then why would/do they talk to one another so viciously? Yet, neither wanting to back down or show the other that they'd upset them.. determined not to give each other the satisfaction of knowing how much they did care and how much it killed them :'(
JOHN: (Begins whistling a chirpy tune triumphantly, with a smug and satisfied smirk on his face) Ha haaaaaaa! (As Josie walks past his bed into the closet) I love it! That shut you up! Tosser! (Beams at Josie, as he stands up with hands on his hips) That was your warning!
JOSIE: (Makes out she doesn't give a damn) That's alright, John.. cos unlike Rachael.. I won't beg for your friendship.. I'll just lock you out of my life..
JOHN: No, you won't do anything! You kept pushing me.. I told you to stop, but you kept going..
JOSIE: Whatever! Carry on!
JOHN: And I will go real hard, if you wanna go.
JOSIE: Carry on (as she goes to walk out of the bedroom)
JOHN: (Repeats) I will go hard.
JOSIE: I'll go harder, I'll go harder!
JOHN: (Begins to raise his voice) No, I'm being lenient with you, because I like you.. but don't f**king push it! (Sheesh, if this is him being lenient with someone he likes what is he like when he DOESN'T like someone?) (ad break)
When they split up, I don't think Josie wanted to have to beg John to come back to her.. though in her head, she thought she had done exactly this and he'd told her where to go. So did she 'lock' John from her life because she didn't feel like he really wanted her anyway? I have thought that John perhaps would have wanted Josie to PLEAD him to come home, at first.. to show EMOTION, that she did care and that she loved him.
John may have wanted emotional proof, not just words or what he could have considered empty promises that she'd change.. even though he has/had changes to make in his own life too. I don't believe he would have been physically able to leave Josie, had she been a crying wreck at the airport .. but because she stayed strong and didn't 'show' him how much she wanted and needed him - maybe he believed she didn't and slipped away.
YES, Josie told him that didn't want him to go and ask him several times to stay .. but John could have felt those words didn't match up with her actions towards him. One thing I'm convinced of, is that they both didn't want it to end the way it did and that they were both devastated initially.. John said he felt like Josie was pushing him away and Josie probably felt the same from John. That doesn't exactly make a person feel loved, does it?
6.20pm, some of the HM's are at the carousel, talking about John James.. (Shabby, Caoimhe, Nathan, Josie, Corin and Govan)
JOSIE: (Updates her assembly) I'm finding myself ignoring more and more people.. (laughs) I'll just totally blank him now..(the little group have a good ol' giggle) I was SO friendly before.. that's the way the world goes, innit?
They all laugh along, Shabby says they all knew they weren't going to get along with everyone in there 'we were fools to think, that was the case!'
John James, Ben and Sunshine are in the bedroom talking about Josie.
JOHN: And I don't care if my insult was justified or not.. she kept f**king going.. I said to her, stop.. STOP or I'm gonna keep going .. she kept going and going and GOING! I let a few more go past.. I'm the most f**king.. I would cop sh*t..
BEN: Johnny, I know.. John, John as you would say to me, don't keep on repeating yourself, cos I agree with you. They took it too far!
JOHN: I couldn't give a f**k if I'm here or not.. I really couldn't give a f**k! I'm over this sh*t! (packing up his possessions) This house has F**KED me off!
BEN: Do you want a cup of tea?
JOHN: Nah!
Oh YES, Benji - put the kettle on (!!) What a marvellous solution, John wants to leave the house because one of his best friends is refusing to speak to him .. but by all means, go ahead.. because a cuppa has magical properties that can fix any feud, right? :P
At this point, John doesn't even seem phased by his insult to Josie or bothered about it possibly hurting her feelings. He is still hung up as what he saw as her 'going and going and going' at him .. and comes over as more concerned about the way Josie made HIM feel, rather than worrying about how she might be feeling too.
Steve jokes about girl dramas as John sits at the sofa, like a snake seized to strike. He turns round to watch Josie in the kitchen, she sees him and comes out. The pythons pounce!
JOHN: (Unamused) No, I'm being f**king serious.! I'm not happy!
JOSIE: What with me?
JOHN: Yeah!
JOSIE: I couldn't give a sh*t!! (she also cannot hide that she can COULD!)
JOHN: You can't f**king.. you can't just keep going, Josie .. and just f**king keep insulting people and insulting people.. I asked you to stop and you didn't.. you just f**king kept going ..
JOSIE: Oh what, my turn now is it? You finished with Rachael, it's Josie's turn - is it?
JOHN: (Hands outstretched in front of him) Why did you still keep going on at me?
JOSIE: (Thumbs up to him) Alright love!
JOHN: I asked you to stop.. I've had sunstroke .. I've got..
JOSIE: (Snaps back at him) Shut up, f**king idiot!!
JOHN: Why did you f**king keep going? .. and then I insult ya..
JOSIE: Shut up!
JOHN: And you crack the sh*ts like a little f**king girl!
I can't be sure if any of the insults that Josie joked about to John actually wounded him deeply, or if he was just angered and exasperated as she wouldn't stop when he wanted her to be quiet. As much as Josie pretended she wasn't cut up about any of the retorts John dished back.. it was obvious they had struck a nerve with her.. she knew that she didn't have any spiteful intentions with her words (even if they came across that way to John) but John had to hit that little harder to 'win' and to make her shut up.
I would argue that it isn't 'right' to insult anybody, if they are insults that are MEANT by the insult-er.. but if you have that kind of banter between you as friends normally, then you wouldn't think anything of it.. you'd see it as harmless, as usually they know that you don't mean anything by it!
I share this kind of humour amongst some of my friends, which isn't to everyone's humour.. sometimes, when we are overheard by people who aren't close to us, they think we dislike each other!! But those who KNOW us, are aware that it is just what we do and that we love each other :) I can only be like this with my best friends. John was in fact, the first to 'crack the sh*ts' and Josie IS a girl!
Josie turns to walk away, John is straight on his feet to follow her back into the bedroom. Mario tries to stop him by calling his name but John ignores him. He doesn't want to let it drop and is unrelenting with her near the closet.
JOHN: (Desperate for answers) I asked you to stop, but you just kept going at me! WHY???
JOSIE: No, I never John..
JOHN: Yeah, you did.. You dii..
JOSIE: I never!
JOHN: (Stammers furiously) I heard you! Why lie?!!
JOSIE: (Walks back past him) Whatever.. I'm not bothered.. I'm not bothered if you don't speak to me again, to be honest!
JOHN: No, but that's not the point! I asked you to stop!
JOSIE: You're really p*ssing me off!
JOHN: You're supposed to be my friend.. I asked you to stop.. nicely.. (it was NOT nicely!)
JOSIE: Why are you still going on about it then? Can you stop? Now! I'm asking you to stop.. so can you stop now?
JOHN: Why didn't you stop when I asked you? I don't know why you didn't stop..
JOSIE: Stop what? What's the matter?
JOHN: When have I ever dished it out at you..
JOSIE: I'm not gonna have a go at you, John.. (turns her back on him and heads towards the bedroom door) just get on, innit.. get on!
JOHN: (Calls after her) But you're the one that's cracking the sh*ts!
JOSIE: GET ON! Jog on!
Josie leaves and John looks absolutely gutted, like his world has ended... and Josie once WAS his world..
JOHN: F**k it! I'm out of here (breathes heavily as he gets up and walks back out into the living room) ..
I honestly feel that John expected Josie to apologise for the way she had treated him and couldn't understand why she wouldn't.. and yet wasn't ready to offer one to her for the harsh words he had dished at her!
He didn't get at all, why she wouldn't give in to him and do as he asked WHEN he told her to stop. When no apology was forthcoming and he could see that Josie was serious too, that she wouldn't stand for the way he spoke to her.. John was stumped and didn't know what he ought to do next.
He couldn't be the one to say sorry first as he felt he was in the right and Josie in the wrong.. I doubt any girl before Josie had ever spoken back to him like this ever in his life (except his own mother) .. maybe because he wasn't getting his way, Josie hadn't stopped, she hadn't shown any remorse or attempted to make it up to him and now SHE was asserting that she DIDN'T care.. and didn't have any desire to speak with him anymore.
MARIO: (Jokes) The love begins (!!)
JOSIE: (Laughs then spots John has come out) Why are you following me about?
JOHN: (Presses diary room buzzer) I'm not f**king following you!! (Bangs on Diary room buzzer with his fist)
JOSIE: Going to have a moan about me in the Diary room?
JOHN: F**k off, Josie, as if I'd f**king waste my time! (screws up his face and turns his head away, looking emotional)
JOSIE: (As John is allowed access) He just likes losing it!
John is let in the Diary room breathing deeply, suffering from extreme emotional anguish :(
JOHN: Ahhh f**k! I'm um.. (his hands form a triangle on top of his head) I don't think I wanna be here any more.. (looks down, takes his hat off and wipes his eyes) F**K!
BB: Can you explain to BB what the matter is, John James?
JOHN: JOSIE!! She's meant to be my mate .. but she just kept ridin' me and going me and going me and goin' me .. I just couldn't take it any more.. (wipes his eyes with his hanky) I've got a f**king headache and she just kept ridin' me and ridin' and ridin' .. and just kept going (folds arms across his chest) and like I know she's only mucking around and I know she's only making up sh*t .. but it just f**ks me off!! .. and I never say anything back to her cos I'm.. I'm not like that.. I don't.. (sighs I just don't know if I can handle it any more.. (hands above his head) I'm f**king over it. I've had enough!
John couldn't bear to stay in a house with someone he thought so much of, who now had no time for him. He just could not comprehend WHY she was saying such things when she was supposed to be his friend.. and knowing that he was in pain. He also acknowledges that he does know she was only messing around and that nothing she had said in the bedroom had any malicious intent behind it.
Although, he does seem to forget that he DID retaliate and had made a nasty comment too (which he had admitted to, in the bedroom with Ben and Sunshine) so he was aware that he had! I don't think the reasons for him wanting to leave were purely down to Josie .. he said weeks later, that he'd felt ganged up on at this time by Josie and Govan, his two closest allies (though in the edit it only showed Govan as giggling along) as they were giving him sh*t!
Not only that, but he was feeling like crap because of his sunstroke and having a poxy day as it was! Plus, he still wasn't sure who he could trust in the house so his emotions were all over the place. What a mind melt for him! :(
Oh my god....he could've said he had a headache,he wasn't in the mood,they could've stopped,when they sensed he was not finding their jokes funny...simples.
ReplyDeleteShows the power struggle from early on,both wants to be in control.