Sunday 11 December 2011

Live feed Night 3 part 1

*Nathan has concocted some strange alcoholic punch and measures it out for the group. As he does so, HM's wolfwhistle at 
him, Josie whoooooos and John yells 'MOLEY!!' as Mario undoes the top half of his mole suit as he has gotten too hot. 
Josie admires the 6 pack she seems to think she can see!!  
DAVE: You don't want to leave those nipples out for the ants, mind! 
*John is in hysterics as he catches Mario giving his tiny little nipples 'a cheeky little nipple rub.. imagine if they 
show that!!' Mario doesn't know what Dave 'is on!' sometimes. Dave says it's 'the holy moley!' not to be confused with 
Holy Moly AKA Jamie on BBOTS and whatever else he does with his career :D
*Dave whispers in John's earlobe that Mario is 'perfect in every way for the job' (of mole) as they laugh about Mario 
entering the house in the mole outfit and then tripping over the couch.  
JOHN: How funny was it when he came down the stairs dressed like that?!
*John takes a swig of his drink and his taste buds are not tantalised but tormented and tortured judging by his screwed 
up facial expression! Still, he goes back for another sip then lets rip with his verdict 'it tastes like Canadian moose 
 p*ss! That is the worst ...' Everybody knows if you are going to drink the urine of an animal it ought to be the Australian 
kangaroo, right? :D The group call 'cheers' and knock back the contents of their glasses.Nathan believes it tastes better 
than cider. It appears to be strong from their reactions!


*JOHN: Ask Mr Righter if he wants a glass! 
Corin laughs seeing him shudder and grimace as he continues to drink.   
JOHN: It's getting worse too! .. That zang! Ohh sh*t! I can't drink another glass of that s**t!
 The rest of the group  scheme to get sloshed!! He and Dave want to make a toast to Bob Righter.
 The poison that packs a potent punch
*Nathan checks John definitely doesn't want more, he declines and is surprised that Nathan even likes it. They offer him 
wine instead as Sunshine and Josie are on the rosé.Josie sampled a swig but it displeased her palate. Nathan and Rach 
are possibly already inebriated as they keep asking where Mario is only minutes after seeing him called into the Diary 
room. Ben has had such a 'giggle today' with Josie, she has too. 
*After a few minutes John's glass has been re-filled and the group chant for him to drink it 'chug, chug, chug!'He 
succumbs to peer pressure but has not miraculously formed a newly  acquired taste for it since his last mouthful. John 
asks Josie if she's tasted it she replies 'yeah, it's disgusting!' Ben brandishes his Bristolian accent to Josie 'my 
babber.'
*Govan moves to sit beside Josie and Ben on the sofa and asks her 'alright me darlin'?' He twists her flower 
headband round to the middle of her head and says 'look how pretty you look!' Josie checks in the mirror 
but actually believes  'I look like a prize cow!' which Govan rubbishes 'you look pretty like that!' still 
in a country bumpkin voice. 

*JOSIE: Why've you gotta come over here, ruin my hair .. that's why you wanted to come over isn't it? 
She feels Govan only came to sit with her so that he could drink her rosé wine. He has some and then tries to take it back 
off her 'don't you want it? You don't have to tell me twice!' Through giggles Josie tells Ben that when her and 
Govan were asked about their highlights of their time in the house so far, they did an impression of him when he had 
overheard Josie talking about him.  
JOSIE:Why's Benjaminge got 2 pillows? 
He'd been lying down in his bed and his ears pricked up and they'd imitated him sitting up holding his ears. Ben does a 
few head nods in good spirits 'I did do that, didn't I? Like Bugs Bunny!' She and Govan had bumped heads 
in the Diary room as they got up to leave and it had really hurt. 

*JOSIE:I keep burping onion!! (That's our girl)
*After the break, in the garden Caoimhe tells Josie that they leave their dignity at the door completely (when they enter the 
house). Josie answers 'that was one thing I was having a panic attack about!' And goes on to say that she keeps 
apologising to the cameras but we don't hear what for. Govan goes over to her with Ben 'are we your babber?' which 
Ben thinks is Bristolian for baby. John climbs the carousel pole behind them. 
*Sunshine is stalking the cameras and smiling into different ones as she skips around the rooms. She shows Ben the game 
that she is playing in the bathroom and tries to persuade him to join in. He doesn't have any desire to play as he thinks 
the cameras will be mean to and he just wants to fall asleep before the Snoring steam engine (Steve) comes to bed. 
*John, Govan and Josie are in the nest having an 'enlightening' conversation.  
JOHN: And get the massive blue balls? Nah! (if Govan doesn't have a bat!) 
Govan insists he'd rather have a wet dream than that in the house. 
JOHN: You can't plan those though!  
Josie would prefer he doesn't have one in their shared bed 'can you NOT do that, please?!!' Josie recommends they 
just 'bust their nuts in the shower!' but Govan finds that 'foul!' John mishears 'Just WHAT?? Splash your nuts 
in the shower?!' He reckons he'll be able to go a while without one ..  'getting his pecker out on TV' as Govan puts it.
John doubts the cameras would even register if he had one as his package is a 'little one'. They all crease up laughing.
Indicating the size of his crown jewels 
JOSIE: Good job I bought tweezers!
*John planned at home that he'd be able to lift up the doonas to ahem.. relieve himself if the need arose. Nathan enters 
the nest and joins in the conversation of crudeness. (subjects which are right up his street!)Josie shares, 'we're just 
talking about w**king!' This topic seems to excite him as he boasts that he could 'w*nk for England.' Not the title 
I'd want to win for my country but whatever tickles your pickle, Nathan :P John is keen to know 'are you not 
attracted to any of the girls in here, Nathan?' Nathan doesn't know yet. Shabby jumps inside which makes Josie 
happy .. the discussion also proves to be a crowd-pleaser with Shabby who loves 'master-w*nking .. it's the best!' 
John asks Shabby if she has yet and Govan and Nathan agree that Shabby has a sexy, husky voice. 
*Josie reveals that 'I actually did catch Nathan having a little touch of his todge!' Nobody is planning to 
masturbate but John admits 'I think I'd have to if I was in here longer than 3 weeks!' Josie is especially 
stunned at Shabby's declarations that she normally does 3 times a day 'you little randy mare! 3 TIMES A 
DAY, SHABS!!'
*John doesn't believe that Govan could last 3 months without one but Govan is adamant that he could. Shabby says she'd 
managed to have one whilst on an airplane having a chat with an air stewardess. John confesses he had 1 in a car in a car 
park once, Govan 'that's what we call a pervert! I can imagine you watching girls as you did..' which he denies 
vociferously.  
JOHN:How is that any more non-perverted than w*nking in a car? (to Shabby's plane story)
He asks which class as you could 'easily in first class!'
*Govan and John managed to have one in lock down. If you must know the intimate details, which they are not afraid to 
announce to any viewers - Govan's was the Tuesday night before and John's was too. They'd given John a magazine (SC) 
He asks Govan if he can 'w*nk off on the imagination, pretty easy? .. Yeah, I can.. but I never used to be able 
to.. it takes a pretty good imagination!' 
GOVAN: Are you slow or something?
JOHN: I think it's hard! I haven't done it a whole heap of times..
*Corin chats with Sunshine as she brushes her teeth as she's enjoying herself and doesn't want to go home. 
CORIN: I feel like an adult in a playground but still like a kid, if you know what I mean?  
That sums up twitter rather aptly on particular occasions, don't you think? 
*After an ad break, some of the housemates are playing a drunken game of spinning around the mop in the garden! Josie is 
not outside for any of the spinny silliness. John suggests that 2 people spin around ten times at the same time so that they 
fly into each other :D Corin gets scared commenting how dangerous it looks after seeing Govan's turn. John is especially 
dizzy and seems the most affected by the alcohol. Steve cheers 'go on VW!' as he spins around like he's Kylie Minogue 
and whoa's when he stops.
*John then tries it holding the mop which he says is 'f**king, much harder' and then falls flat on his face. Shabby and 
Steve snort!! He gets back up and stumbles all over the place before nose-diving in the grass. John tumbles and trips all 
over the place but is breathlessly having so much fun! Steve is concerned that he will do himself an injury. Goes to chat 
to Dave at the door (and gleefully tells him as though he's his Dad) 'I just did the dizzy thing!' Rachael is asked by 
BB to remind them to keep the noise down so they agree to count more quietly. John instructs Corin that it is easier 
standing up 'and it's more refreshing!'


*Nathan takes John up on the challenge when he asks if anyone else is having a go as he 'loves that sh*t!' Nathan 
struggles to even spin around - Pete Burns and is band would NOT be proud :D John immediately whips round the mop 
like Sonic the hedgehog on Speed and hurtles to the ground not once but twice in a row. 


*When Rachael sees John fall over she decides 'that's the funniest thing I've ever seen!' But John's not bothered; 
he can't stop laughing and acknowledges that it is much harder to spin while holding the mop above his head but 'so 
much fun!' 
JOHN: I could do this all night!  
And had he done so, he most likely would have ended up in the hospital with a gash to the head! 

*After ANOTHER turn, he attempts to steady himself but zig zags all over the garden before plummeting spectacularly 
yet again. He regains his balance against the living room door and takes a breather shattered from all the spinning. 
Corin asks if he feels sick now.  
JOHN: Nuh! I thought I would for sure... 

RACHAEL: Someone can't handle their drink! (in reference to John) 
Corin says that they were quite strong considering they'd only had 3 little glasses.  
JOHN: (Tells Steve) I've never been that light-hearted in my life!  
Someone belches brutally in the background. Seeing John peek in the nest, Rach  recommends playing Truth or Dare in 
there - some of the HM's are up for that but John heads inside. 

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