8.25am, most of the HM's are in the bedroom. Keeley is in the kitchen, getting stuck into the washing up which will really put Ife's nose out of joint! She can't charge into an environment thinking she's the Queen and can call the shots. John James is in the bathroom, cleansing his face with his cream when the incomparable Tree of Temptation pst psssst's at him.
TREE: (in his real raspy voice) Oi Skippy! It's me the Tree.
JOHN: Don't call me Skippy.
If anyone comes in the Bathroom, John has to act like nothing's happened and come to find him later on 'get it?'
JOHN: (maybe he's never been the brightest star in the sky but he's not a complete lump head!) What do you think I'm stupid?
TREE: (slight pause) Yes! You're not from round here are you, Bruce?
JOHN: Bruce! Come on, get to the point.
TREE: That ridiculous Australian accent and yellow hair of yours is a bit of a give away.
John is checking around that the coast is clear and barks again for T of T to get to the point. Tree has arranged something very special for John 'believe me, when and if you find out what it is you're gonna be proper stoked' but he can only have it if he does something for Tree. The chest of drawers demands for John to tell every one of them lot an astonishing, jaw-dropping fact about Australia and all before Midday. But here's the twist: they've all got to be complete nonsense, totally made up 'unfair dinkum, if you will.'
JOHN: (racks his brain) Oooh. That I might be able to do. 11, 11 facts?
The wooden wally provides a good example that he could say he had a bit part in Neighbours when he was a kid. 'Or that you once snogged that Holly Valance bird!' John disfigures his face in distaste 'but she's not too good looking though' but agrees alright, not that he gets a vote or choice on this.
TREE: Now rack off, bucko!
JOHN: (chaffs back to the chest) Don't start, pal!!
So John hadn't woken up on the wrong side of bed or was feeling glum or sullen when the day began. In truth, he was a 180 degree opposite of this and appeared very chipper first thing in the morning. He seemed much more relaxed and happy than he had previously and it was the boost of surviving the eviction that possibly provided him with this lift of spirits. This was even noticed by WHATM-ers who didn't like him greatly and they hoped he'd continue with that temperament.
I don't think the new housemates being there had knocked him off balance either (that mostly seemed to unsettle Josie) and he was enjoying re-bonding with Ben etc. over their instant disliking of Little Miss Hoity Toity :D
9.29am, most of the HM's are in the bedroom. The usual morning torture is inflicted upon them as the alarm rings out, interrupting their dreams. Immediately eyes are shielded from the bright light and bedheads peek out from under their covers; Rachel OMG's a little too Corin-ishly for my liking, that it's broad daylight outside - having only had a few hours of shuteye before being made to get up.
John James and Keeley are in the kitchen. If this clip is in the correct sequence, that would indicate that Baroness has been cleaning the dishes for over 60 minutes!! She fires questions at him over whereabouts he lives in Australia and what it's like. He duly responds that he resides in Melbourne and the weather is quite similar to the UK except it doesn't snow. She explains that she's from the North of England so the elements are never as good as they are down there; John is spraying down the dining table.
JOHN: (and he should care if she does because...??) Someone was telling me that you date footballers and that..is that..
It's not that she dates footballers it's just that she has dated them but she's not that type - (a wannabe WAG?) if that's what he thinks. He didn't think anything but she just hates talking about it because people will stereotype her, but she admits she has but it's only a small percentage compared to the majority of men that she's dated. He gets what she means 'do you date lots of blokes?'
As John uses some elbow grease scrubbing the surfaces until it gleams, Keeley comes clean to having once been a serial dater.
KEELEY: (And that my darling is why they haven't taken a liking to you) I love talking about myself. Really bossy.. I'm quite bossy, you know not bossy but (changes the adjective to something less severe) assertive.
I don't know who she thinks she's kidding as John was not fooled. They may have already got an inkling of that particular personality trait but she doesn't want to annoy anybody. John attests that they obviously knew 'you guys are the kind of people that could come in and sort of start taking control, to a certain point.. especially you.' She knows, yeah. He sweeps the floor under the table now - this is the most housework I everrrrr saw him complete in the entire duration of those 73 days he was in the house.
In the bedroom, Rachel strangles Andrew with love. He still can't believe it and asks how her first night was but she has blurred memories as she flat out snoring. She was well gone so she must have well been tired (typing this the way she describes it herself, I wouldn't use the word 'well' so excessively) Josie is still wrapped up in bed, smiley in her sleepiness. Back to the kitchen, John asks Keeley her age she wants him to guess.
JOHN: Did you say you were 29?
She confirms that she is 31 in a few weeks; he rubs his bleary (non-crab) eye and he politely plays along that he hadn't remembered 'ah 31 that's right.. in a few weeks. When's your birthday?'
KEELEY: 1st of August. But I don't look it do I? Noo. (his ears almost disbelieve what they hear so he has to have it repeated for clarification purposes 'pardon?') I know I look a bit haggard this morning but I don't look my age, do I?
JOHN: (intimidated the answer she wants out of him, how else was he supposed to reply to that?) No, no. Definitely not.
He then answers her application form questions that he is 24; Keeley issues a back handed compliment (or intelligently cloaked insult subject to whichever way you view it) that she'd thought he was older and he'd (thought) she was about the same age as him.
The miniature carbon copy of Hayden P of TV show Heroes fame was rapidly showing herself to be a pitbull in some respects, especially when compared to the other newcomers who were integrating more smoothly into the mix. Keeley's one of those women who don't pander to people or change for anyone who may not love her characteristics as much as she does herself. She likes to think she's special and was accustomed to getting her own way, to being admire and have all the men in love with her. I don't think she ever took a crack at generating this adulation out of John for her, probably knowing that would never happen (as she came in thinking likewise to Rachel that he was into Josie) but even so it might have bugged her that he didn't fall at her feet or bend over backwards to accommodate her every whim and fancy.
She liked to play up to her independent woman persona and wanted it broadcast that she had a brain under her bleached blonde hair. John saw through her the moment she walked through the doors and didn't buy her routine of sounding as sweet as a bucket of sugar! Even if she had come in as a singleton, was looking for a showmance and was what he was attracted to looks-wise he'd not have gone there as she was exactly what John kept at bay in terms of her personality. If they'd had more time in there together the nature of their friendship would only have been platonic at most.. and they'd have butted horns more.
She liked to play up to her independent woman persona and wanted it broadcast that she had a brain under her bleached blonde hair. John saw through her the moment she walked through the doors and didn't buy her routine of sounding as sweet as a bucket of sugar! Even if she had come in as a singleton, was looking for a showmance and was what he was attracted to looks-wise he'd not have gone there as she was exactly what John kept at bay in terms of her personality. If they'd had more time in there together the nature of their friendship would only have been platonic at most.. and they'd have butted horns more.
9.51am, some of the HM's are in the bedroom. John is now in bed with Josie cuddling in to him so their day began with nothing but love and good things, while Keeley complains about the nocturnal noises in there being unreal in a big, brassy voice. She'd woken up that morning wondering where she was, equaling it to one of those wildlife programs then milking every minute of her audience hanging off her every word, except Ben who yawns at her banality. Keeley proceeds to make nasal, squealy pig and other animalistic sounds being dramatic for dramatics sake. None of them want to take in all the stupid grunts and noises from her that early in the morning.
As she walks out delighted at how enthralled they'd appeared, John sarcastically and over exaggeratedly snortily sniggers 'we're gonna have some fun with that one (!)' Josie sits up momentarily before laying back down and John carries on laughing at Keeley's expense alongside Steve and Dave. With her, less is more.. and this would empower her to be found less ridiculous. She didn't even pick up on how the guys were not giggling because she was being entertaining but it was directed at her.
It was like John was making a concerted and valiant effort to display to Josie that Keeley's hardcore, rockin' bod was not something that dazzled him as her personality sucked arse. He could tell his Jose was feeling emotionally vulnerable and was sending signals that she needn't be. As he was not a manwhore who would leave her high and dry simply because another female had come in that was easy on the eyes. Josie didn't want to come across as the needy girl clinging on to John but her anxiety manifested itself through her constant jokes about Sheila's etc. He'd sooner have a steaming hot cup of Josie Gibson than a mug of the Keeley's of this world!! She just couldn't see it..
Ife's pretends to be all accepting and that she's really sorry that she's had to do it as it was an atrocious mess but she's done this hundreds of times.
Keeley's back in the bedroom, ordering Josie to tell her things; Josie asks what she wants to know. Something funny! So Josie claims she has a few impressions 'of our John.'
KEELEY: Go on then, do me some.
John groans but beams at Josie expectantly to see what she is going to come out with. The first one is her knocking out the antique and anticipated 'do you know what it is yet? Do you know what it is yet??' This is so overdone by her that her version could surpass Rolfy Harris himself.
JOSIE: And the second is (uses her fists balled up by her eyes like she's bawling) 'Josie called me Crab eyes! Josie called me Crab eyes!'
The important thing to note here is that although the parody is not the kindest, John chuckled along, happy as a clown made of candy could be as she performs it. (Even though it was insulting to him, like the way she laughed when Sam Pepper insulted her about her wearing a swim suit.. so you'd think he'd have recognised that same insecurity coming through the self-conscious, nervous laughter) Then he covers his eyes, awaiting the next imitation of him so suggests one of his own 'at the end of the day, at the end of the day, at the end of the day!!! With a face like thunder, with a face like thunder, with a face like thunder!' They could have chopped out 20 more humiliating gags and sketches too but that would have depended on if the other got angry or impressed.
JOHN: She purposely tries to get me to do impressions of her. She tries to get me to talk in a Bristolian accent. You know that song? (sings some of Brand new combine Harvester)
Josie creases up and Keeley patronisingly praises John for singing it so well. He pokes himself in an eyeball with one finger as she parades past.
JOSIE: (overcompensating with humour) If you run off with Keeley don't worry, I won't be hurt.
JOHN: (Josie might be being an idiot but she was his idiot) Aw, get.. have a listen to you, you ..
She warbles the line 'All by myself' and this touches him, so he tenderly fold his arms around her, awwwing as he squeezes her tightly with a reassuring hug. Their softhearted moment is broken off by Andrew coming over to ask if he's taken a bit of a shining to Keeley.
JOHN: Nah! No, she's just being stupid. (releases his hold of her)
Letting Andy in on what they were just saying that she's just come in here; Josie cuts him off to remark that 'actually John James normally has a row but (giggly) I think he's frightened!'
John had been all kindness and smiles to Keeley's face in the kitchen, but behind her back he quickly falls back to the protective group mentality.. or the make-my-Josie-feel-better mentality as he knew what she was saying was preposterous old tosh!!
John had been all kindness and smiles to Keeley's face in the kitchen, but behind her back he quickly falls back to the protective group mentality.. or the make-my-Josie-feel-better mentality as he knew what she was saying was preposterous old tosh!!
"It's normal when groups are intimidated by newcomers that they pick flaws and become defensive/protective of the initial group." (Tre)
Andy listening intently to them, went for 26 to be safe, John (leans more closely towards Josie) keeps the ball rolling that Keeley had descanted 'but.. but I don't look my age, do I?' "No." "How old do you think I look?" (stammers) "um... 22??" cowering away, scratching his face in trepidation this triggers hysterical reactions as they're regaled by his re-telling.
JOHN: 'Um um.. have a nice day then, I'll catch up with you soon..' But it's good though, I like it. Like even though she's bossy and that it's better than being bored as batsh*t! So anything you guys have got to offer whether it's good or bad is gonna be awesome, do you know what I mean? Like you guys have covered all the bases I reckon. So..
JOSIE: Apart from Mario wanted a gay.
Andrew awww's and John draws parallels that they've got loads in common - he and Mario. Josie tells him that Mar was hoping Andrew might be gay; the Einstein of Elstree is pretty sure he wasn't hoping that about him.. though he was and sent Caoimhe out to ask him if he was straight. He then realises that she had asked him that, Josie cackles. (Ad break)
Firstly,
Josie was not calling
John Crabeyes here but still a quotation of John being upset when she
had said it, was out of line and the word came out of her lips when
doing so, she didn't bleep it out. I don't think she meant anything
catty or venomous and just wasn't considering how this would later
affect John, who she was saying it to (Keeley) and that this could
impact how Keeley interacted with John as she could start using that
nasty nickname too. Josie said before that she and her friends were
always taking the p*ss out of each other in this way so it was second
nature but she should have remembered how John didn't like it and his
negative reaction to it the last time. To her, it oughtn't have been
a big deal as she loved everything about the way he looked and could
not compute that he may actually seriously have low self-esteem when
it came to his body and other aspects of his appearance, just as she
did.
If
anything the Maths was totally on Josie's side where it came to John
and Keeley.. I would say that John had more cause for concern about
Andrew with Josie because he did
fancy
her and Josie had a fondness for him. John running off with the pocket dynamo was an inconceivability, so the pumpkin head needed to pull the stick out and lighten the hell up where she and John were concerned as they were never to be a 'them'. The thought of John being with a character like Keeley was repellent to him. And John and the rest tried time and time again to put a pin in these silly woes plaguing her but she would not believe it.
I adored how John cuddles
her like he wants to pick her up in his arms and look after her
forever.. as he often alluded to ..she was the centre of his
universe. My heart lifts every time I see him being as soppy as a wet
flannel with Josie Jose.
“Look at how John is reciting how his conversation with Keeley went to Josie. He's clearly putting a negative slant on his interactions with her.” (WHATM) And that was very blatantly for Josie's benefit so that she would grasp that he was not into Keeley by any stretch of the imagination and found her irritating. He was hardly going to be rude and ignore Keeley before when she spoke to him as he didn't want to be insolent to a new house guest and he was trying to suss her out. He may not have been a fan to that addition to their clan but he distinguished that Keeley as well as Andrew and Rachel would make an interesting HM and she'd bring something to the table.. he just didn't happen to like what it was that she did have to offer.
But I bet all Josie picked out of that massacre of Keeley's character were the words 'but I like it' ..just the smallest slip of the tongue would have sent her mind into a fretful overdrive and added to what she had already convinced herself of, incorrectly.
DAVE: (as John enters with his towel) Alright big boy? Let me just dunk that for you.
Corin (whom I got a big fright from seeing her without a speck of make up on) asks if she and John are starting afresh then today; he buries the hatchet that he's fine and apologises for yesterday 'that was well out of order.' It only wound her up as she felt like she was getting the p*ss taken out of her but she doesn't want to go over and over old ground but it's a new day. John is willing to begin anew with her.
Josie and Caoimhe are at the carousel. Josie's still proclaiming how much she looooooves Andrew; Caoimhe is a liker too but thinks he's a bit nervous yet so sweet.
JOSIE: I love Rachel. I like them all!
CAOIMHE: (spreads gossip) But er.. Ife's unhappy too.
JOSIE: It's like Battle off of the Wonder Womans' isn't it?
CAOIMHE: Battle of the housewives!
JOSIE: (anxiously has a giraffe) I .. I give up. Do you know what I mean? I'm out of the competition, out of the runnings. She can have all me husbands. It's the first time I've seen John James do his hair in like.. 2 months, a month.
Caoimhe promises Josie that John doesn't fancy Keeley; Josie epitomises Baroness as the original real life Barbie 'she's purrrrrfect, she's perfect!' Caoimhe wouldn't go that far.
Caoimhe is critical of Keeley having a big arse that sticks out; Josie reckons that's quite nice though and awww's when she's told that Keeley only comes a tiny bit above the counter. I do empathise with how Josie must have felt looking at the slender figures of the new arrivals; it would have made me lose my head and become unconfident of my body too. Comparisons can be so self-destructive but it is hard to turn these off in your mind especially when you have low self-esteem as it is. This trim stomach of Keeley's was irresistible and yeah Josie wished she had a tummy like that..Sure Keels was pretty enough looking but not a patch on our Josie! If Josie continued to contrast her own body with other women, no wonder she has altered her own so radically. Now she has her own toned and taut bod .. but some feel it has eradicated her beauty in the process.
Andrew is accounting to BB how he's getting on very well in the house and it's surprising that everyone has been so welcoming. He's looking forward to spending time with John James and Mario, who's he had some good conversations with already, as well as Josie, Ben and Dave who seem quite warm. They're a lot more light-hearted than he would have thought. He thinks he and Mario will have a good relationship as he's a bit of a nerd like him, they both love robotics and science fiction; so he anticipates quite a lot of nerdy chat.
Caoimhe alleges that Andrew keeps looking at all the girls boobs and she'd seen him do it to Josie last night; Josie exults that she'd caught him!! Kiev reckons he's been cooped up in his room studying so much that he hasn't seen real boobs in a while.
John comes out wearing his most wonderful accessory - his smile, with his bowl of cereal; Josie jokes 'how's you and Wonder Woman getting on?'
JOHN: (tartly) I'm out here aren't I? So f**k off. (Josie giggles restlessly that she will) Ah cool (!)
JOSIE: (resigned) I can't compete with that. (she and Caoimhe titter)
JOHN: I think it's pretty easy, you just shut your gob. She'll drive me insane.. you just gotta.. a little bit at a time.
Being with Keeley is not an attractive prospect for him .. but he's still not making Josie feel great. She felt that her title for Number 1 in Johnny's estimations and heart was threatened but Keeley could never take that. Sorry pretty lady, you were never going to be Johnny boy's carton of Ribena or glass of milk avec straw, not that she was desirous of him either.
John was wise to Wonder Woman and could foresee that she had the potential to send him potty. For the time being, he was letting her be nice to him but cautious around her, so as not to upset the apple cart or Josie who rides a horse and cart..
JOHN: Look why not? Can't you just get me to steal someone's stuff or something?
TREE: You know your mate Haris? It's his engagement party (yeah John knows) it's happening today (yeah he knows!) Would you like a video call to see him?
JOHN: (elated) Oh bullsh*t! Hang on.. (turns the tap on and starts scrubbing his teeth as a plausible reason for being in the bathroom)
TREE: (cannot be stumped) I didn't know I was dealing with someone with such low intelligence levels.
JOHN: (the peroxide in his hair must have seeped through to his brain!! Bah haaaa) Yeah, well you are.
Tree realises that now so he's going to give John one extra hour 'understand that, thick boy?' He falls silent as Josie comes in taking a towel which was hung over the shower; John plays it cool and nonchalantly shrugs 'dunno' when she asks him who it belongs to. Then takes it throwing it over her shoulder with a mirthful 'mine!' and enters the toilet. He waits until she's definitely inside, continuing his bristling of the molars then shakes his head dumbfounded at the chest of drawers.
John has followed Josie through the living room and scouts out if she's heading out to the spa. Yeah man! Alright, he'll be out in a sec as now he can talk freely to the Treely.
JOHN: (a snippy quippy) Alright, what have you got Dingus?
T of T states again about him having the additional hour to go and do the rest. John expostulates that it's not as easy as you think telling lies; I know, I know sweetie. Tree shuts him up 'life's not easy.'
JOHN: Ah! (hand on hip, grinning) Don't get me started!!
TREE: Don't get me started. Now go out and do it, you flamin' galah!
JOHN: (giggly) Flamin' galah, who do you think you are? Alf Stewart or somethin'?
TREE: I'm the Tree of Temptation, now get out of my bathroom and get on with it.
JOHN: Oh, you're bathroom? (repeats his request to get out of his bathroom) Hang on! See ya, pal.
TREE: (more than happy for him to get the hell out of there) See ya, kn*bhead.
JOHN: Dingus!
LIE #1 - 'It's pretty good there. They got pet kangaroos and that.. No, serious! Our next door neighbours are doing that, yeah.'
LIE #2 - (while doing laundry with Dave and Ben, Dave would love to go to Ayers Rock) 'I went down there on an excursion once and um.. I fell down Ayers Rock!!' (nervous laughter)
LIE #3 - (directed at Ben) 'Do you know much about Ned Kelly? I think my Mum is related to her.. him in some way.' (Ben wows but thinks he's Irish) 'You know how you do those family tree things.'
LIE #4 - 'I don't live in Canberra, but I'm pretty sure they've still got Convict colonies and that.'
LIE #5 - 'He used to live in my street Ian Thorpe.'
'Did he?' (Linking for the next porky) LIE #6 - 'Near um..Elizabeth Murdoch.
LIE #7 - 'Did you know Olivia Newton-John lives in Australia, yeah? (Ben always thought she was Australian anyway) Nah no, she was born in um.. Cambridge, she was brought up with.. Mum erm went to the same school as her.'
LIE #8 - (whilst doing the mangling) I've met Danni Minogue as well, I got to kiss her on the lips once.'
LIE #10 - 'Did you ever watch Neighbours? (Ife did and Ben years ago but doesn't now) Well Mum used to own a house that was on Ramsay Street.'
LIE #11 - (Ben questions whether John has ever been to Sydney Opera House) 'I actually went for a school excursion, actually. We had to sing there.. it was just like a choir song for primary school. (he hums melodically) Thousands of people at the Sydney Opera house, it's nice though.'
Ben believes John actually loves Australia but sees it's faults; John concedes that it is good. I don't know how he kept a straight face throughout these untruths so pat on the back for that. Johnny returns to the Tree and although he hadn't done exactly what was asked, T of T took into account how dumb John is so will get him his reward after all. John exclaims with toothbrush in mouth, 'oh, you are a legend!'
TREE: (disdainful) And you are dumb.
JOHN: (syrupy) I love you, man.
Well T of T doesn't love him; John doesn't care and still loves him.
TREE: Well, I hate you.
JOHN: (all smiles) I don't care, mate. Oh you are.. thank you so much.
TREE: Stop getting soppy. I don't like sentimental people. I'll get my mate Big Bro to do it later. (call him into the Diary room)
John re-thanks him but is reproved not to tell anyone.
JOHN: You seriously think I came out of a lemon tree, don't ya?
“I think its a lovely prize, remember he's not only in the BB house he's thousands of miles from everything and everyone he holds dear.” (CharlieL)
1.54pm, Steve, Keeley, Ife and Corin are in the kitchen. Keeley calls Corin over as she can't see something she likes properly as Coz is so little, while she makes toast for the troops. They have a wee hug as Corin disputes being small as she's putting on weight in there. After being asked by Her Excellency, Coringe replies that she'd been thinking about getting her t*ts out and going topless but they've gone so white that she's not gonna bother.
Some of the HM's are in the garden. Dave encourages Jose that she's got to up her game; Josie knows but she's getting the white flag out. Chortling that he can see her losing her man was a stupid idea, an incredibly stupid idea as she was paranoid enough about that as it was. Perhaps sensing this touched a nerve and wasn't the way to instill her with confidence, Dave adds his reckoning that Johnny James is getting his out too and won't even go there (with Keeley).
JOSIE: He's frightened. But I think he quite likes her, he's brushed his teeth 3 times today and done his hair! (Dave guffaws)
DAVE: The thing is, he's won a few rounds against the women in here, hasn't he? He's not gonna win against her. She is gonna beat him down.
JOSIE: (wish she stopped saying these cliched lines) If he wants to run off with some other Sheila, that's up to him! Only joking.
BEN: (now he's no longer a narrow-minded John hater, he SAYS SOMETHING LOVELY AND TRUE FOR ONCE) He's totally devoted to you (Josie disagrees 'no he's not') He does, he adores you.
She hasn't even seen John do his hair for her like that.
Quiff can imagine him thinking about it and he'd be really sweet (Ozzy inside him comes out) 'You know Jose.. not a bad idea. I spoke to a couple of mates they said "you're not really that interesting are you? Josie's quite hot, she's funny. You know you guys get on well, she keeps you in your place, she makes sure you don't starve, she knows how to get to McDonald's, she's got a driving license. What's the problem?" Josie cracks up and Ben can see she thinks he's joking but it would literally work and she'd have John thinking about that.
JOSIE: No.. I don't look at John James as if I fancy him or anything like that (but Ben feels they have got chemistry) I don't look at him as if 'ohhh I wanna rip your clothes off!' but I'm quite.. cos I'm not really used to getting much attention on the outside world, I quite like the attention. I don't..no.. I don't, no.
Despite Ben's attempts to be sympathetic and supportive to Josie..when he uses this tone of voice it sounds insincere. He doesn't make a believer of her because she has persuaded herself that she doesn't want or deserve John and so puts up a front that she doesn't fancy him. Maybe she was in a state of denial but it should have been apparent to her that John was the only person in there that she truly cared about. Though Ben is teasing there is some veracity to what he says because if Josie proposed to him after BB, he would have married her on the spot! John did adore her with all of his arteries that was plain as day but Josie didn't just want to be adored, she wanted to be loved. Good job he did <3
Some of the HM's are in the kitchen. Andrew tries to point out something to Mario and gets him to open the door but he's too late for whatever it was. Mars banters that he just thought Andy was pointing at Josie's ass.
ANDREW: That as well!
Mario makes a mountain out of a MOLE hill about it, bringing this to Josie's attention that Andrew was admiring her derriere!
JOSIE: (finds it funny) Was you looking at my boobies, Andrew? (he doesn't know where to look)
ANDREW: (unconvincingly) ..No.
Caoimhe frames him as she'd seen him looking at them; Josie oiiiii's as Mario honks her honkers like car horns.
JOSIE: (with tongue in cheek) You're a boob man, aren't you?
He dodges this direct question strategising that she should have another man if John James has someone else. H'obviously! Josie asks 'so how are we gonna do this?' Mario challenges him to go up and start playing with her boobs after a few days, she won't mind honestly. Her pushing him off with a firm 'MARIO!' would suggest to the contrary, she re-asks if he's a tit man, she can tell but he pinkens and shakes his head.
JOSIE: (laughs at his self-effacing) You know when you just instantly like someone.. I like you!
ANDREW: Thanks, I like you too!!
MARIO: Watch out for her, Andrew!
Haha poor Andy, he couldn't have been more mortified if he tried! I don't expect he'd ever met or encountered a woman as out there as Josie before and any he may have seen probably never gave him the time of day. So to receive such complimentary attention from her would have made his experience in the BB house!
Josie had completely lost her mind over the non-event that was Keeley and John so she would often flirt with Andrew to try and make John (the man who 'never' gets jealous) feel jealous!! And I do think it worked because John did have a hang up over their friendship but he too should have known it was not something he needed to be green-eyed of because the attraction was one-sided.
JOHN: What have you's been doing?
Awww Haris (his best mate who is sat next to his pretty fiancee at their engagement party) is ready to message him every morning to go to the gym then realises he's not there anymore.
JOHN: (awwww he's so chuffed) This is awesome!
He's begins to look overcome with emotion when told that his Mum is there when Haris says he'll put her on.
HELENA: Heeeeello darling!!!! How are you?
Again he drops his head to the floor, maybe welling up and doesn't want his Mama to discern that. When he raises his face he has pasted on his best, enormous, beaming smile for her; he can't believe BB have set this up and asks if anyone's been watching. All of them have (including Scott Love who I catch sight of in the background) his Mum is pretty much glued to it.
JOHN: Are ya??? Oh you'll be well proud, you'll be well proud then.
HELENA: (heartfelt) Yeah, yeah I am. I am! I'm really proud of you.
HELENA: (couldn't be more pleased of her little tushy face) Yeah, I am.
His F&F are perceptibly thrilled for him and gladdened by how far he's come. It must have been wonderful for Helena to see her petite pookie poo too as she hadn't for over a month. This call must have hit home to John how much he was missing everyone at home and although in part it gave him a lift, it also gave him a bit of a knock too. I can't even begin to assimilate just how weirded out John must have been because of this secretive communications and not even being able to share it with anybody in the house, especially Josie who he'd have wanted to relate it all back to.
Some of the HM's are in the garden. Josie consults with Andrew over if he wants to go to Ibiza with her when they get out; he's a bit busy he thinks. Holy crap, he's nerdy! Heehee me thinkest he'd prefer to slam his fingers in a drawer repeatedly than club it up on the party island!
JOSIE: (jests that she thought they had something special) I'm a bit sick of being turned down!
It's not really his sort of thing to be honest; Josie wants to know where they should go then. The first place he wants to go is Las Vegas they ooooh that it would be good. Josie chuckles that she keeps saying all these things like she has loads of money.. when at that point she had practically none.
JOSIE: (more like he's not as Andrew's not the one she'd fallen hopelessly in love with) I'm not that lucky.
He'd have been too intimidated of her high-powered personality and eccentricities to ever enter into a real relationship with Josie and that's if she wasn't vying for Johnny.
Johnny waves goodbye to his cheering loved ones after chewing the fat for approx 7 minutes; he puts his hood over his baseball cap as one of his pals signs off with a 'See ya, loy. Nuff love.' He stands up still in utter incredulity and shell shock that this had really just happened.
JOHN: (still in amazement) I can't believe that.. I can't believe that.. I can't believe that. I can't believe it! (paces slightly) Oh my God. Oh this is so awes..I can't.. (sit back down, still registering it all) Whoa! That was intense..
It must have been prodigiously overwhelming for John and a reminder of how he was so so far away from home and the people he loved so much.. and that now he was in an alternate reality of reality TV, a shrunken social universe with wacky acquaintances who didn't know him inside out like relatives and life long loys did. On one hand this interaction was good but on the other devastating.. and there was nobody there he could unload on with the exception of BB but even they would not fully appreciate what he was going through.
6.24pm, the HM's have been gathered at the sofas for this week's You vs the HM's challenge - spooning. HM's have chosen Andrew to be their contender, Andrew must place on his face as possible for 10 seconds. They are shown a viewer's entry video on the plasma screen, Ife counts up 6 as they marvel at the wonder that is spoon balancing; Josie's friend Marcus (Brown Bomber) can do it. Steve guesses that Andrew can do that easy; Dave's informed input is to bang on however many that participant had and see how long he can keep them on him for.
7.28pm, after sufficient practice time and now that he is all geared up Andrew states that he will attempt to balance 5 spoons on his face. Ife would like to weigh in here that he should do 6, having totted up the amount the person they had watched had managed to hang but he stands firm that from his tries he can only succeed with 5. Dave tells him that 5 is fine and Rachel defends Andrew to Ife that it is proper hard.
Ife doesn't mind so long as he does the best he possibly can, it's just she rationalises that she'd seen the other competitor with 6 suspended perilously on their visage. She's harshing his buzz! That's what he had heeded as well but he can't get any more than 5.
DAVE: Spoon gate!
Andrew is told to commence sticking the spoons to his face; John looks over at Josie and mutters something inaudibly about how she's already summat summat.. Andy begins but folds under the pressure as the first one falls off almost as soon as he's dangled it. Rachel reassures the love that's alright as he presses on and for him not to worry about it. Caoimhe has to suppress her chuckles with her fist and she blames the giggliness on Josie, then covers her face with a cushion.
As they watch on, Josie just can't control her giggs and they rub off on Rachel as they sit together, desperately trying to prevent them slipping out but it is no use. Josie was trying not to laugh which made it even funnier. I think it was one of those situations where you laugh even though it's not really on and you can't stop because its not appropriate to be laughing.
The others do their darnest to supportively drown out the snickers by SPOONfeeding Andrew with enlivening phrases, as the silverware wobbles unsteadily. They clap him when the klaxon blasts so he knows the time has started and the tick tock counts down the seconds; they erupt with more rapturous ovations when he completes it without the spoons crashing to the floor! He is relieved at his good effort.
BB reads out the results as follows: representing the HM's Andrew stuck 4 spoons and the viewer representative Luke stuck 5 on his face! He's disappointed to have failed the challenge but his new friends are understanding and commiserate him.
JOHN: That's alright, man.
The group awww and give him a big hand in encore as he expresses that he's sorry; Corin says for him not to be daft as it was just unlucky and there's no way she'd have been able to do it, hugging him. Ife looks miffy! Marcus tells us: If you'd like to take part in a You vs the HM challenge, apply at Channel4.com/bigbrother
9.34pm, Dave, Ben and Caoimhe are in the nest talking about the new HM's. Dave discloses that Andrew had said to him today how it had been great chatting with him and that he doesn't think he's judgmental at all. 'And I was thinking, what've you heard? Do you know what I mean?' Ben doesn't know if either were there in the kitchen but both Andrew and Keeley had just slightly patronised him and it was the way they said it 'actually, you're really funny!' Which makes it sound as if he's portrayed like a horrible person in the outside world.
Rachel has come to the Diary room. She thinks she's settling in quite well 'so far so good. Thanks for letting me come in here!!'
JOHN: (won't stop scowling) Sit away? I didn't say I didn't like smoking. When did I ever say that?
JOSIE: I didn't think you liked the smell of it.
JOHN: (why is he splitting hairs?) Did you make an assumption? Are we making assumptions?
JOSIE: You're cruising for an argument, aren't you? I can tell. (he laughs) Go and have an argument with your new Sheila, don't come out and have an argument with me.
JOHN: (impatiently snatches at her cigarette) Give me some of that!
JOSIE: Go on hurry up and die!! (he ho ho hos and takes a short puff) Can I have my roll up back? You're not even a smoker.
JOHN: (starting to get pretty malicious) Ahh. Um can I have some of my chocolate back that you managed to feast and eat like a duck and didn't even chew, you just swallowed! Have you got any of that left or..?
The way she covers her face then sucks her thumb looking gutted would tend to indicate that this comment has really hurt her.. but he thinks he's just bantering.
JOHN: Ah that stings my eyes, that stings my eyes! (shoves the roll up back to Josie after the smoke gets into his non-crab eyes)
JOHN: (in humour here) What's your f**king problem?
JOSIE: Do you know what, John James? I think you're so rude that you're funny. (he laughs too) You're such a pr*ck that it's funny, I've got a mate like you. Yeah you are, you've just come out insulting me.
JOHN: (risking an enormous argument) Ah, says you who f**king called me Crab eyes in front of the new HM's!
JOSIE: (her memory can't be that short, this is where poop starts hitting the fan badly) No, I never. You're such a liar! Rewind the tape! (she stands to get away from him)
JOHN: (saying it really condescendingly) You've got the worst memory ever. Not only do you not see things around the house, you don't even see yourself.
She tells him to go and ask the new HM's if she'd said that but he stands down that they might not have heard it. 'But in the bed.. in the bed, Keeley.. Keeley heard you say it.. And I was like (groans) did you have to say that?'
JOSIE: (putting on his black hoody but not denying it) Why are you so worried about Keeley hearing someone call you Crab eyes for?
JOHN: (wow this is so not what any woman wants to hear) Oh is that alright? (gets up from the bench) I'll just go and tell Andrew that you've got 98 chins, is that alright?! (collects a stack of cushions from the ground to follow after her as she enters the Bitch bin)
JOSIE: (standoffy) Go away, John. (he chuckles)
(Ad break)
Josie needed to stop worrying and obsessing about the Sheila as it wasn't because he liked Keeley that he didn't want her saying the C-word in front of her but rather that he disssssliked her (so she'd be the last person he'd want catching on to the nasty nickname). Though using Andrew in his insult perhaps wasn't the best way to express or convey that to Josie since she'd found an immediate affinity with him. That was pretty crappy of him as she was feeling insecure as it was and all he did was crush her spirit.. but not premeditatively.
John is right that she has the worst memory as she couldn't even recall using the moniker..or she omitted it as she considered herself to have been doing an impression not actually CALLING John this. This little dust up should have been much ado about nothing and all blown over quickly but they'd each had a raw nerve hit.
ANDREW: (deadpan) It's the closest I've got to sex in my whole life.
Some of the HM's are in the nest talking about Keeley. The Baroness has no place in their wicked world. Steve has her sussed already that she's come in trying to take control of the mother ship and it ain't working. He ruminates that she wants to overthrow the Baron but it's not gonna happen, so far she's failed on a load of things and he has pulled her up on it. Ben closes the door so their bitchings can't be overheard by prying ears; he bleats that what she's actually done is unite all of them 'not that we weren't united already..' But the arrivals have smoothed all the ripples out of their down and ratty times from the last week, like an iron.
Josie is alone in the bedroom. She's holed up under the covers pulling a hermit thing, with her eyes closed and her hand to her head as she's suffering from a headache and maybe been in the sun too long during the day. She retreated to bed to get away from John and escape what she perceived as him spoiling for a scrap. John comes through having been looking for her and ardently hoping to make amends, walks over to her with that big, sweet smile of his firmly in place, having the intention of giving her a cuddle.. no good can come of this. The second he sits down next to her on bed and touches her, leaning in for the hug she pushes/kicks at him and demands, not quite shouting for him to go away and get away from her.
JOSIE: (she is melting down) Get lost you f**king kn*b!
JOHN: (not sure what on Earth to do as he'd come to patch things up) What now?
JOSIE: (just wants him to get off her back) Just go away. Leave me alone, I don't want to speak to you.
JOSIE: I don't want to speak to you just f**king bring your negative energy away from me..take it away from me.
JOHN: (concern laces his voice) What? I was coming in to give you a hug. (She tells him she doesn't care and has her sunglasses over her eyes to disguise how upset she really is) F**king hell, Jose. (nervously laughs) F**kin' ener.. I'm as happy as I've ever been.
JOSIE: Yeah well I'm .. I know cos you drain me of all my positive energy, that's why.
JOHN: (Guffaws) Stealing it?
JOSIE: (not in much of a kidding about mood) You're an emotional vampire. (pulls the duvet back over half of her face)
JOHN: (chortles then turns serious in tone as she continues to act like she has no emotion or warmth) F**king hell, Jose.. I'm f**kin..
JOSIE: (so furious she can't even see straight) Don't just think you can be alright with me one minute and then treat me like a f**king (bleeped - most likely the C word) the next, f**k off.
JOHN: (dying inside) I said.. I said sorry Jose.. like.. (Josie doesn't care, she's not having it no more, John's painting his toenails) So you don't wanna be mates no more?
JOSIE: (that's how obstinately strong-willed she is) No, I don't give a f**k. (his heart drops) Why would I want to be friends with somebody who speaks to me like that?
JOSIE: (erupts with rage, we're talking bloodbath here!) I DIDN'T SAY IT!!! STEVE SAID IT. So get it right, you w*nker!
JOHN: (first time he partially yells but not really at her more at himself) F**K!! (he sighs, so sad and defenseless)
This is where Ife awkwardly busts in where she doesn't belong, determining immediately that he is a beaten down shell of a man she gently asks 'what's wrong, Johnny?' He's visibly close to tears when his voice cracks as he replies 'nothing.. nothing.' Is Josie asleep? 'Nah' .. are you two arguing? 'Yep.'
IFE: (faffing and flapping around like a pigeon, not even sorry to intrude) Oh f**k off you two! (she steals the quilt from off of Josie's face and although she smiles she's incensed)
JOSIE: (serious as a heart attack) Ife leave me alone cos I'm about to flip out. Leave me alone. (actually visualised her biting and scratching like Wolverine at Ife!)
JOHN: (Big hint for Ife to butt out of their fight) Yeah, just let her go If. Seriously.
JOSIE: (she's not gonna calm down anytime soon with him in the immediate vicinity) You need to get away from me as well, John. Cos I will be asked to leave from this house. I'm warning you.
Mario has walked in and discerned the tangible tension between them 'is this serious or joking?'; Ife instructs John to give Josie some space and come outside. Mario snaps into problem-solving mode and attempts to coerce John to leave with them.
JOHN: (not budging, using this as an excuse to stay) I'm not going to say anything. I have to stay, I'm painting my nails. If she wants to go, she can go. I won't say anything. Relax. I can handle myself, I'm a big boy.
John didn't want to see her deteriorate and lose her sparkle but he IS a drainer. Emotional vampire was too strong a term for him so his friend had thought wrong there, if anything John was longing to share his happiness with her. The fact has been well established that there's no reasoning with the kid (Josie) when she's like that and this occasion was no different - she gave him hell! John was still guilty in the court of Josie and she became disenchanted with him as a friend, not wanting to be drawn into his 'negative' realm, which is why she removed herself from his company..but he followed after. She was pertinacious that their friendship was finished because of how badly he'd spoken to her and treated her..but she'd been equally as savage.
My heart went out to them both as they were already having a tough day and had been repressing their feelings (John about how deep the looks sh*t went and Josie over how low she was) Maybe it's crazy, maybe it's irrational for her to have detonated the way she did but he'd worked her up into such a lather. But how could she stay mad at his little face? “Josie is the closest to him. It's not the same as anyone else. He trusts her (and only her really) (Vesna) I envision that they continued to cut each others heart out the way theirs was cut out when quarreling hammer and tong (out of BB) and unceremoniously made the other feel small.. their words were always their knives, matching each other grunt for grunt. Picture Grapes of Wrath multiplied by 50. And no amount of cuddles could ever take back what they'd said :(
This was an exact illustration of how Josie's fireworks of fury would flare up like an open weeping sore when she should show how devastated she is instead. John didn't mean to start on her in the garden but he did have a reason for broaching the subject with her which she took as an angry accusation, when he just wanted her to not ever say it again. I do think he took his emotions out on her unreasonably with the name-calling (which he maybe saw as a comedic reply, not knowing it crushed her) but she went too far with her punishments. I don't think Josie handled things the right way at all she was cruel and insensitive (as was he to her) and I did worry she would never let this go. How glad was I to be incorrect that the damage would be irreparable as it brought them closer together.
It has truly been a distressing evening for the pair of them and John may have been a little tosser but Josie had been a bit of a cow back. What was most telling to me about this DR entry was that she couldn't figure out why he had been able to anger her so greatly. He was already under her skin and in her heart so it bled because he had been horrible to her. Josie Gibson does not do instant forgiveness but like John said on TSAJ she always came around eventually but not before inflicting pain upon him first.
Word has got back to Caoimhe about JJJ's bust up so she goes to see if he might be in need of some comfort and guidance, he's been poking himself in the eyes and exhaling anxiously.
CAOIMHE: (when he tells her Josie is in the Diary room) Oh for f**ks sake!
JOHN: (looks like he really needs a hug) She goes 'I've had a think about it and f**king, you just f**king switch on me'.. well I didn.. she's got a f**king serious screw like.. she's just like snapped.
Keevil has that smug smirk that needs smacking off when she questions if John thinks there's more to it than just friends.
JOHN: No. (She oh's) I don't know if that's the reason she's crackin' it.. I don't know, I don't know Caoimhe.. I don't know. I'm seriously.. I've got no one to talk to .. I don't know what is goi.. I don't know what to do. I don't f**king fancy this Keeley bird, I don't. But I don't know if she thinks that, but I don't. I really don't.
Kiev knows she jokes about it but doesn't know if Josie is serious about it or not, neither does John.
If Josie felt a person had switched on her then she switches too only with higher voltage, becoming hell on wheels. Be that as it may, this was the opposite of what John had meant to happen; it was regrettable that they'd both been in very vulnerable places that night. He just didn't deduce what got into her to cause her to lash out and was seriously at a loss as to where her freak out had derived from. Caoimhe's guess was as good as his but she was certainly more clued up as to why Josie had cracked it with John and that her territory had been threatened. In one fell swoop they'd both devastated the one person they cared for most .. John's life always became an inky black abyss of despair whenever he and Jose fell out :(
This statement encompasses a whole myriad of feelings, the first being that he had hurt hers just then with his nastiness and he was capable of doing so like no other..that meanness was in both of their genes. A hot temper does not become her, here it brought out a very aggressive side in her that made her want to react physically.. as that was the way she was dealt with by an ex in the past.
It also displays that Josie was au fait at holding petty vendettas and resorting to childish antics, feeling that her reactionary choices are vindicated by how she is in turn treated rather than working through their troubles. Though she did love the lad and he had been brilliant with her before this, she just could not see past what happened or make allowances for him having an off day. She had been that hurt herself that for all his nice-ness, he'd just been what she saw as the biggest jerk on the face of the Earth, to someone he would refer to as his best friend.
So she went with the course of action that she knew would gut him and his very delicate feelings (when it came to her) - by pulling a Mrs Freeze and silent treatment-ing his ass to the ground. She had her heart set on this drastic measure to make sure she'd break his heart as her own was broken by John. Awful things were said by both in that row but deciding to go with vengeful and hardheartedness was uncaring of her. So if this sort of behaviour was a regular reappearance in their relationship.. that would have been a LOT of work for John. Constant mental floggings are every bit as wearying and detrimental to a partner as John's energy-depleting nature.
Corin, Ife, Caoimhe and Josie are at the carousel. Corin asks what the argument was over; Ife unravels that it was something little and Josie fills them in with a teehee that it was about her calling him Crab eyes. Caoimhe suggests that she could maybe not call him Crab eyes and Jose barks that she hadn't, it was Steve who did though C thought she heard her use it that morning.
IFE: (wants to put her two cents in cos that's what she does) Do you not think that you two getting angry over the littlest things could possibly be the sexual tension? Cos if something that tiny..
JOSIE: (resolute) No it's not. I don't want to have sex with John. I don't look at him like that. (Ife asks if it's just brotherly sisterly bickering then) No, it's the fact that he can be a f**king kn*b sometimes. (Ife doesn't believe she'd have got as stressed if someone else had said the same to her) You don't understand the way he spoke to me, Ife. He was a rude little pr*ck.
Where's the woman's sense of loyalty? I know she's (angry and upset) but John wasn't slagging her behind her back while her silence and refusal to resolve it was stabbing him in the chest like a knife. This is something I will side with Ife on, I do think sexual tension was somewhat accountable.. Josie may have nullified wanting to have sex with John though poss as she didn't want to confess to that, presuming John would never want to sleep with her. She did think he was YUM YUM but never in her craziest fantasies would she have believed John would get up her front bum bum ;) It's going to take introspection on both their parts to see where they each went wrong in the relationship and work on that/those area(s) with current or future partners. Love can't be used as a bargaining tool to get your own way.
JOHN: (wallowing in regret and self-recrimination) Jose is the only person I fight with in here that gets me to the point where I start questioning why I'm actually here. Cos I feel like I'm nothing without her to a certain point and like.. if I don't have her friendship, I just wanna go home. It's so strange and.. it's so strange cos I didn't know her before I came in here but it gets me to the point where I don't wanna be here if I'm not friends with her. That's why it annoys me so much. I don't know, I didn't think that I would be reliant on one person but I guess.. I am. (exhales deeply)
Josie wouldn't accept or own up because in her mind she had not done what she was incriminated for.. at least not in the way he charged her. She wasn't judging him on how he looked and was continually flattering him with how handsome he was.. she condemned and passed a stupid sentence on him on account of his infuriation and how he mistreated her etc. It got to him because he had taken stick from mean girls at school over similar spite (Who's laughing now, weeners???) but his real burden was that he didn't want to endure it from her. On top of that, he could have sent a thousand apologies but she was not in the frame of mind to be amenable or responsive. But what he must learn is just because he is willing to drop it and make up, the other person(s) involved may not be open to that simultaneously.. so a pinch of patience wouldn't go amiss.
Some things are said in anger or the heat of the moment.. and it's necessary to wait it out for the cooling down period to commence. That is true of Josie, she may have hollered all these hollow threats, twined with obscenity but she couldn't have followed through with it forever. No flippin' chance. She was relentlessly stiff-necked but hopefully she'll grow out of that.
Without her he's like a dandelion in the desert or a baby who has lost his dummy (not an inference that he is childish) and he confided as much to BB despite her being a relative stranger. The magnitude of his amour for her was unusual for him particularly as before the TV show she hadn't been part of his life but yet she had sparked such intense feelings inside her. He'd certainly not banked on having someone enter his world and soul like she did before signing up to it and it took him aback. A smile and a hug wasn't the way to win Josie back around like he'd attempted; the size and sincerity of the apology needs to match the size of the stuff up and that wasn't adequate. He was exhibiting all the tell tell signs of a man in love and just wanted to do right by Josie but she wouldn't always make it easy for him to.
How he couldn't diagnose this loving was inexplicable especially since he was fascinated by her and thought of Josie all the time. Her happiness and well-being was the utmost thing he cared about so having her rebuff him and finding out that he had blown a hole in her heart, made him want to leave and fly back to Australia. It had him that overwrought that their relationship had turned sour that the entire BB experience was stripped of his enjoyment if Josie would not even talk to him. Nobody else could cheer him so that feeling wasn't going to go away - only Josie could doctor him. It was a heartbreaking saga to sit through and not be able to step in, so I cried like a baby. I think he was so annoyed that Josie couldn't see how much she meant to him and that he didn't intentionally set out to wound her.
Corin is talking to Steve about the new HM's and how as far as she can make out they'll stand up for themselves and won't be walked over, so she's buzzin' with that. None of them are cocky or bitchy and just want to have a laugh; she's puts an apple in the fridge for him tomorrow. Steve asks 'what about old Johnny?' Coz relishes provides the hell of a scoop that John's had a massive barney with Josie; Steve aww's as she says she doesn't know what's gone on but apparently it was massive cos Josie screamed 'GET AWAY FROM ME!!!'
The vindictive harpy feels that it just goes to show that John was up for eviction, didn't go, didn't have an argument for 4 days last week as he knew he was up and BANG on tonight they have a blazing row screaming in peoples' faces.. though she doesn't really know as she wasn't there. Shut it you manipulative, conniving weasel! Steve doesn't think it isn't good because it puts on a damper on everybody.
Before the credits run, John and Josie are shown in bed both angled towards each other. Events are unequivocally playing on John's mind as he keeps blinking his eyes open to peep across at Josie. Could your heart just melt? :( All is quiet so he can collect his thoughts as to how proceed the next day having not the faintest idea that Josie will not come around as quickly as he'd like. Myself, John and the JJJAT hoped all would be well in the morning but NOOOO Jose strung out her sorrow and his turmoil for 24 hours! When a session of angry, vigorous make up sex could have spared John from dealing with as much moodiness as Josie could dish out. Day 32 and 33 were 2 of the darkest days JJJ spent in BB but hooray that they held each other more dear after and became inseperable.
