John and Dave (side by side in bed) Josie is in her own, when the live feed starts. John snickers as Dave says this might be the last night he has to put up with Seahorse snoring (if he is evicted the next day)
NATHAN: You what? What you f**king saying?
Dave repeats what he'd said about Seahorse snoring! Josie 'I snore as well. But I didn't realise I did until I got here'. Govan had told her 'it's not a proper snore it's a *makes cute sleepy sounds*' (wiping off her make up)
JOHN: Yeah, Rachael used to do it as well!
NATHAN: Like lion cubs.
Dave is sad they've missed the football. Nathan notifies them that the World Cup lasts for a month so they haven't missed it all yet. Big Guy (Steve) is still feeling sh*t 'it's in my head today' and Nathan doesn't think it helps with no food 'boosts morale does a bit of tucker!'
STEVE: 1 f**king Digestive and we're like YEAHHHHHH, come on!
Dave reckons Nathan could have knocked something up with those pulses. Nathan says 'there's nothing to have with it.' but he could have made hummus but they have no olive oil. Josie says she did make some! Dave rants that they have nothing and BB have taken all the beans, tins of tomatoes and potatoes!
JOSIE: What day is it? (someone answers that it is Friday the next day) All my mates are out now having a really good time.'
NATHAN: It's not gonna be forever, is it?
In the Lounge Ben is saying that 'the only place I can sing well is in the lift of my apartment building cos the acoustics are really good.' Ife finds the bathroom very good but Ben makes the point that it is always occupied by 3 professional singers!
Ife needs to let it out sometimes as the first couple of days she had felt so low as she wasn't prepared to be in the house. Ben labels Ife as very sensitive which she accepts but doesn't want to think that she is.
BEN: I think that's a good thing. I don't like people who aren't sensitive as it means they don't care. True?
I believe John's sensitivity is what endeared him into the hearts of so many people. And for someone who says so often how much he doesn't care - this sensitivity is what actually betrays his emotions.. and let leak that he really does care.. a hell of a lot more than he would like particular people to know. It is easier for some to dismiss John as not caring any longer.. or being 'over' it because he stays relatively silent on twitter (the only link to a form of contact we really have to John right now) this doesn't mean he doesn't give a damn.. we can't see him to turn that assumption into a fact!
But John knows that everything he does tweet reveals and lets slip little shards of his feelings! Largely, his tweets have revolved around Josie .. whether it be indirect insinuations or outright allegations of nastiness, they mostly have something to do with Josie.. or retaliate to something she has said! So for him to control/contain how he truly feels in his heart.. he conceals it all.. by staying off twitter completely. Or does he? ;)
All Ife had been hoping for was to get in BB, so she hadn't expected what it would be like if she did! She didn't want to be portrayed as a 'floater' by talking to everyone. On the first couple of days Ife had a real memory loss and control issue and can't remember the simplest things. Mario still has this now 'songs I've been singing for the last 10 years, I can't remember the lyrics to!' (something Josie also mentioned on her interview with Fern on Live with) due to the 'real cabin fever, claustrophic, awful, what-am-i-doing-here feeling' but Shabby told her to just be herself so she'd started singing 'I am what I am!' Corin had made her feel better.
Dave comes out to the lounge and says it's like a mortury in the bedroom 'you may not want to come in there right now!'
MARIO: They're not still going at it, are they?!
As things got a little bit more heated off the back of the Sunshine name saga, with Sunshine wanting to walk out. SC as the cameras swap to Shabby, Govan and Caoimhe cleaning their teeth in the bathroom. Govan runs into the toilet gagging and Caoimhe chuckles at him being drunk!
JOSIE: Bit of a bust out, bit of a rave up, bit of a song! They had me right over a barrel! Told em all the gossip.Yeah, they had me right over a barrel!
NATHAN: Ahhh you've been feeding them all the information? What've you been saying?
JOHN: You embarrassed me on national television!
JOSIE: Yep, embarrassed John James on national TV.
JOHN: And I got nothin' for it..
JOSIE: You got nothin'!
JOHN: Nufffffin!!
STEVE: It obviously wasn't worth anything, was it?
Nathan proposes to John that he needs to get Sunshine some tunes. He calls out to BB 'they'll have sex if we have some music!'(Sunshine and John presumably) In the Diary room, Josie even asked for 'Sexual healing' by Marvin Gaye. John 'she did too!'
NATHAN: She would have done, wouldn't she? She's a dirty mare!
STEVE: Who? Sunshine?
NATHAN: No, Josie Jo!
JOSIE: No, I'm not. I'm a good girl!
NATHAN: (Imitates her) 'I'm a good girl' (John also gives his 'stop it' impression of Josie)
JOSIE: No, I seriously am .. I'm alright (SC)
Quick flick to the bathroom where Gov high fives Shabby. Caoimhe tell Govan he is 'f**kin' hilarious' and they wonder how much he has to drink. Govan can't cope as he and gathers that certain people are being themselves while others aren't. He hopes that in 9 years time when he hits the big 3-0 mark that he will have learnt enough about life, to realise that being a certain way and deceiving everybody he comes across 'is just not the way to be!' He can't help but mull over the things that have happened in the subsequent 2, 3, 4, maybe 5 days 'maybe I'm just being harsh but I just don't want to hear it!'
They're all just p---ing off Caoimhe 'like, why, why does John James, feel the need to start up conversations about f**king Sunshine's name? You know that kinda way?' Govan asks what John did. Caoimhe conjectures that John has gone on and on about her using Sunshine instead of her real name!
GOVAN: Cos it's f**kin' ugly, that's why!
She wants him to talk about something else.
GOVAN: Some people have come in this house too worried about how things look or how things are perceived. I came in here to have fun and that's the God's honest truth! I just came in here to meet new people and to have the time of my life. (This was his last facebook status 'I'm off to have the time of my life..)
Govan is cut off to transport the train of viewers back to DESTINATION: BEDROOM!
JOSIE: Yeah. Definitely.
JOHN: Would ya? In order to keep him in? (Josie would leave to spare Govan)
JOSIE: Yeah, definitely! 100 percent!
JOHN: Yeah? .. (silence as John thinks) Would you walk if he walked?
JOSIE: No, because the only way I'm walking out of here is through the front door. I said that from day 1 and I'm not changing that.
JOHN: You could go out together!
STEVE: (Snorts knowingly, he's onto you Parton Pants!) Look at you prying!
JOHN: Would you go out together?
JOSIE: Yeah, I'd walk out with him.
JOHN: You would?
JOSIE: Yeeeeah!! .. Would you, John James?
JOHN: I'd be close! (SC) I don't think we're gonna have to worry about it to be honest, with ya.. but.. (believing Govan is certain to stay)
Nathan says for everyone to keep their fingers crossed
JOSIE: I just try not to think about it really, cos if I think about it then I'll go into a state of depression .. And it's not about having a state of depression on Big Brother! (Steve chuckles some more)
Back to the bathroom -
Govan thought Shabby had so much control and is so much more of a better person than him when she spoke to Ben. Shabby stops him in his tracks 'Govan, some things are not the way they seem.' She suggests that he watches the episode where she and Ben 'made up' if by some chance Govan does go tomorrow 'that's all I'm saying!'
Govan knows his Mum would have recorded him and the people that it is glaringly obvious he cares about on here. She will have saved them and he'll watch them back; Shabby assures him he'll p*ss himself and that a lot of things will become very clear (when he watches that) They think it's awful they can't talk properly about certain things in there (as forbidden by BB) which creates a barrier. BB sometimes tells them to bear in mind that a diary room entry is confidential! They think they are on the same wavelength.
The troublesome trio not-so-subtly discuss noms and how they found doing them the previous week. Govan's were very 'heartfelt' (SC) Caoimhe's were terrible last week as she'd just woken up from a nap. Govan admired something someone had done with their life and can't take that away from them. They call Caoimhe a little rebel after she affirms they are talking about the same thing; then plan to have a little smoke then go to bed. (Ad break)
Josie wonders if they'll have a task the next day. John thinks it is likely as they had the horn task the week before 'and I had to give my motivational speeches!'
JOSIE: What motivational speeches? All I heard was (in John's accent) 'Josie! Josie! BREATH!'
JOHN: Don't you start! I looked after you.. if it wasn't for me, I reckon you would passed out! 'Josie! Breathe!!!' (as she'd been struggling with breath)
JOSIE: I could do a couple of trumpets! (blows feebly) I obviously.. I worked quite hard! Did you see the state of my lips after?
JOHN: I went 'Nath, work with Jose!' and you're like (thumb directed at her with a 'NO WAY!' look on his face and shakes his head)
Nathan had refused to work with her on account of her being 'useless! Every time I turned around she was giggling her little head off! Bless her!' Corin compliments them all for doing brilliantly while John continues creaming his cheeks.
JOSIE: But in't that taking the p*ss out of the South Africans, the fact that we did that! The South African team.. because by the end of it we were pfffff, couldn't be bothered.. it sounded really sh*t so.. it was a bit of a p*ss take really!
NATHAN: That were hard, that!
Corin checks Josie still wants to be woken up but Josie turns her down 'now I know you wake up at that time, no worries!' Corin changes the time to 9am for Josie 'that'll be nice!' John might try to listen for her too; Corin says then they can have a shower before everyone else gets up. John hates waiting!
JOSIE: Why have you got about 150 towels over there? (John looks but doesn't know) You pinched my towel!
JOHN: Ah, don't get me started on pinching towels! You really did pinch my towel!!
JOSIE: Yeah, 1 time!!
JOHN: Well, in case you hadn't noticed this is a double bed and there's 2 people sleeping in it.. so their not all mine, are they?
JOSIE: Yeah, well how many people have you got sleeping in that double bed then?
JOHN: TWO! Count the towels, genius!
JOSIE: 3.. 4 towels!
JOHN: We get 3 each .. (cuts to smokers in garden)
At the Smokers bench, Shabby says she's not too worried what people think 'my Mum knows how repulsive I am' and hers is the only opinion that matters to her. Her family are not as close-knit as others.
Back with the bedroom buddies -
JOHN: .. Those white ones, but I did!
JOSIE: I haven't got 3!
JOHN: (Laughs) I'm not Big Brother, I don't dish out the towels! But everyone should have got a small one, a medium and a large one - each! So actually ..
Corin tells Josie she'll wake her up in the morning (if she's awake) at quarter to nine, then they'll get John up at 9.
JOHN: No, just wake me up when you get up!
JOSIE: Alright then.
CORIN: (Surprised) HALF SEVEN??
JOHN: Yeah, whatever. Doesn't bother me.
CORIN: Are you surrrre? Don't be punching me..
JOHN: Yeah. No, no, no. I don't get angry, seriously. I used to get up at 4.30 every morning. (repeats she will get him up if she wakes up) I normally hear you when you get up but then I go back to sleep. But I'll just try and get up when you do. Cos it's pretty early, we're going to bed pretty early tonight so.. (Steve says it is 12) That's alright, 7 hours sleep, that's heaps! (raises his eyebrows)
STEVE: And you're gonna get it tonight, you are!
JOHN: Why?
JOHN: Don't start, Stevo!
STEVE: They will mate, I'm telling you. It will be 3 in a bed tonight, you, Mario and Ben!
JOSIE: Nath, throw me 1 of those towels cos I swear that Ben's ..
JOHN: (Incredibly amused) Look at her trying to pinch someone's towels!! Have a look at her!
JOSIE: Yeah cos I haven't got 3 towels. He's (Ben) got 1, 2, 3, 4! (Steve calls him a b*gger!')
JOHN: Yeah, I told you that Ben sneaks the towels! (He sits up, Josie wishes to have the big one thrown over) that's why I was um.. That's why I was having an argument with him! Look at her face!
STEVE: Her eyes lighting up 'I've got em all, got em all!'
JOSIE: Yeah, I aint got 3!
JOHN: (Guffaws) Nah! Now you've got about 8!!
JOSIE: Yeah. That's how it should be.
JOHN: (Cracks up and repeats) 'That's how it should be'!!
STEVE: You personally should have 8 and we should have none?
JOSIE: (Laughs) Yeah.
STEVE: That's just greedy!
JOHN: That sounds like a good plan to me!
JOHN: Yeah, I know!! Are you's ready to go to bed? (Steve IS!) You should flick off that light Sunshine. Nuh? Are you gonna turn off the light, Sunshine?
Steve asks Sunshine what she's looking for and she simpers in a baby voice 'pictures!' Josie really needs a wee but can't be bothered to get up; Corin does too. Steve spots Sunshine's photos, they had fallen down - Corin helps her collect them from the floor.
JOSIE: That's bad isn't it? I can never use that bathroom in the bedroom.
NATHAN: What? For taking a sh*t?
JOSIE: No, for anything! (Nathan asks 'why?') Cos it's too close to the bedroom.
Corin flicks the light switch off. Nathan says when he uses the toilet at home he stinks out 'the whole house, me!'
Govan, Caoimhe and Shabby are having a smoke. Discussing how Dave putting up Rachel under the pretence that he thought she was 'popular' with the public was BS! They can't believe their tiredness and have all felt shattered all day! Nathan comes out to join them but he has slept almost 2 full days (as he was poorly) but pledges to come back twice as strong.
Govan goes to have a 'slash!' and Shabby wants to brush her teeth they go up the wooden stairs 'off to Bedfordshire!' Shabby believes Nathan's body must have really needed all that sleep (as he'd had no strength) as normally he is up with the bells 'bright and breezy!' But since getting sick, he's got up if he needed to eat or if he was told to.
SHABBY: So will we have our Nathan back tomorrow, do you think? (she'll be expecting him)
NATHAN: Around 2 or 3 o'clock, he should be firing all cylinders! That's my prediction, anyway. (sparks up his cigarette and Shabby goes inside, leaving him all on his lonesome, puffing his Magic dragon, coughing chestily)
In the living room, Ben blames him going to bed earlier as there is nothing to do and he's so tired. After having told Ife she has a crazed look on her face (brought about by the exhausted glaze in her eyes) and that Caoimhe has a mad look, Ben kisses Ife and Caoimhe's cheeks. He tells them how much he's really enjoyed the chat. (SC) All the HM's clear out when Nathan joins them at the sofas and head off to the bedroom (something he said? Did he forget to put on deodrant?!) They hope he feels better in the morning.
In the bedroom - Govan wishes Dave good luck for tomorrow. John asks who was up last week and then grills Sunshine on if she felt safe last week.
JOHN: What do you m.. Oh, you didn't think you were going? (She blathers that she's predicted a lot of things right) so you thought that Rachael was going?
GOVAN: Look stop, don't put her in that position.
JOHN: Nuh, she doesn't mind.
GOVAN: Do you mind, babe?
Sunshine refuses to say other than her intuition has been correct. Govan wants to leave it at that. Steve doesn't want to 'get down and dirty!'
GOVAN: Let's not get gggrimy!
JOHN: (NOT leaving it at that) It's alright to say if you don't think you're going, Dave has! (The bedroom bursts into booming laughter) It's alright..
From the second they announced Sunshine's name, she didn't feel it was her time to go.
JOHN: Yeah, no.. There's nothin' wrong with that! Seriously, Sunshine. I don't think there's anything wrong with you thinking you weren't going!
In the bathroom, Ife tells Shabby that it is easier for her to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, as she doesn't know enough about their past. Whatever someone says, she wants to take it and believe it until proven wrong.
This is the stance I prefer to take with people I do not know especially well. And even with John and Josie, we may think we know nearly everything about them and their lives but we only know small snippets really.. They've had 26 and 27 years of live respectively, we only watched them for 11 weeks! So I will always give John and Josie the benefit of the doubt in all that they do and say, even if they are proven wrong.
SHABBY: But what about when everything they say is always conflicting with their behaviour?
Perhaps this is why some find it hard to trust/support one of our J's? If we see/hear of incidents which are to the contrary of the things they tell us.. what are we to think? Most of their actions post break up has dramatically conflicted with their words on twitter and magazines etc.. they say one thing aloud, when really wrestling with their innermost thoughts.. the more they tell/told us they don't/didn't care, the more the rapscallions convinced me that they DO/DID!
Ife told Ben that he was inconsiderate and very much 'me, me, me' where as, when she first got there she was so conscious about not taking more than her share and she'd then watch him pig out. He'd come clean to wanting to be fed, but pointed out that he doesn't like beans so took an extra egg - which they hadn't noticed. Govan informs them of the grimness on the other toilet seat!!
Josie comes to sit by Nathan who is alone at the sofa (with a towel wrapped round her as a skirt) to see if he's alright.
JOSIE: What's the matter? You look like you're stressed right out.
NATHAN: I'm not stressed out at all, darlin'.. I'm just poorly, still. I'll be fighting fit tomorrow, though!
JOSIE: Good!
At the click of the Diary room door opening, Seahorse cheers 'that's me! Woooo!' and gives her leg a sleazy stroke on his way up. Govan hurries out and goes in with him but Josie calls 'he's not well!!' Govan retorts 'shut up, you!' Josie collects the crumbs from her cleavage as she tucks into her toast, by herself at the settees.
JOHN: Don't give me that evil stare!
SUNSHINE: (Pouts like a petulant prat) You've upset me tonight and you need to say 'sorry!'
JOHN: (Half-heartedly) Sorry! (But when she continues to whine about how he's had a go at her for things she didn't want him to he becomes more sincerely apologetic) Sorry Sunshine.. Sorry Sunshine.
SHABBY: That was actually quite a genuine apology there!
Sunshine states it is the first time she's heard him say that.
JOHN: I seriously didn't know you were genuinely upset. I thought you were taking the p*ss! You're meant to say "that's alright" Sunshine!
Sunshine thinks he has to earn back her respect and trust. Now let's imagine in a world where it is possible, that John and Josie find themselves 'trapped' in the same room..will they ever apologise genuinely? Because they have upset one another and do need to say sorry! Can they earn back each other's trust and respect? Or is it FAR too late??
JOHN: (Finds this funny) Haa! Don't make ou.. Don't, don't push it! (takes a more solemn tone) Nuh nuh, I'm sorry. I do respect what you're saying about the show. You know I do! You know I respect what you said, Sunshine!
Scene cuts to Josie and Govan in the living room as they wander into the kitchen. Then flicks back to the bedroom.
JOHN: You know I respect how you want your name to be different in here. I said that, from the very beginning! So don't.. don't try and milk it.
STEVE: And that's the end of that!
JOHN: And I apologise! (Sunshine still seems sulky in the shadows)
JOHN: You're meant to say 'that's alright, John James!' You're meant to say 'that's alright, Chills!!'
SUNSHINE: John, have you ever thought about just shutting up? Just after talking ..
JOHN: You asked me!..
SUNSHINE: .. For a period of time where you don't talk! (John and Steve giggle)
DAVE: He's non-stop, man. Isn't he?
JOHN: Meeee? I wasn't .. (Cut off by commericals)
JOHN: I think she's made it quite clear she does not want to be referred to that name ever again!! (Sunshine doesn't want the HM's using her birth name)
CAOIMHE: Look Yvette, if you ..
SHABBY: (Rebukes her) Dude! Sunshine, I will not have this.
CAOIMHE: (Giggles) Sorry Sunshine, that was just a slip of the tongue!
Dave decrees that Yvette is a sexy name - like French. Shabby argues that she doesn't want to be called it though.
JOHN: All sh*t aside, Sunshine.. I really do like that name though. All sh*t aside and being serious. I think it's a good name!
Shabby makes out Caoimhe is getting her chest out! Mario is most shocked.
JOHN: Bullsh*t! (SC)
Caoimhe says she'll put a top on so she won't perve on her all night. Shabby urges her to get over herself as "I've moved on to pastures new - Sunshine Martyn! You've got a crackin' arse, babes!" Sunshine asks what's going on over there.
SHABBY: I'm just telling Caoimhe that I quite fancy you!
SUNSHINE: (flattered) Oh, thanks!
Sunshine suggests Shabby form a support group with John to discuss it, as she feels he's in the same position.
SHABBY: What? The 'I heart Sunshine' group?
JOHN: For someone who doesn't want me to keep going, Sunshine you certainly keep throwing in a few cheeky dips, don't ya?
Sunshine tells John to get over himself.
JOHN: I haven't said anything for 5 minutes!! You told me to 'shut up!' So I shut up and then you get me back involved.
SUNSHINE: Sorry John, are you still here? I thought you were gone. Or maybe I was just dreaming!!
JOHN: Then why mention my name? Sunshine, I seriously don't understand ..
Caoimhe calls for Sunshine's attention to tell her about a book called 'The Rules' which recommends she plays it very cool, when fancying a guy to get their attention 'don't even speak to them!' Govan offers Sunshine a chickpea sarny but she'd rather eat her own hand!
GOVAN: I tell you what, Josie has just made the most delicious sandwich I've ever had!'
JOHN: I don't understand, Sunshine! why you get upset but then you keep going .. I don't understand why you keep going at me..
SUNSHINE: Night, John!
JOHN: Yeah, that's right.. So if you say another word, I'm gonna keep going but if you don't, then I'll stop..
SHABBY: I thought you had to call him Chills..
JOHN: I don't understand why people keep going in here.. But I can hack it! I can go all night .. But if you've got a problem with me going then - I win and you, be quiet!!
Shabby says they have a problem with it and there are a chorus of 'shut up's' aimed at him. Caoimhe encouragess them to get in bed beside each other and sort out their problems. Corin's keen for him to get in the middle of their double. Caoimhe 'there's clearly sexual tension so just..' (SC)
JOHN: Caoimhe, gets in there all on the sexual um..
Scene swaps to the kitchen where Josie, Ife and Nathan are having a midnight (or after) snack. Nathan smiles smarmily at Josie (his leering over Josie sometimes was creepy, to say the least!) while Ife complains that she's ate nothing but toast that day! Josie over peppers Ife's toast but Ifester thanks her all the same.
Govan (aka Diary room slut - coined by Nathan) waits to use the diary room and has a shimmy off with Nathan. Ben is beckoned by BB and Govan comes in to the bedroom to voice how out of order he finds that as he'd been waiting for 15/20 minutes. Ben attempts to tame his (quiffy) tresses before entering the Diary room, he sends someone a thumbs up on his way in too.
Josie mumbles through her mouthful of food, that she ensured the snack she made for Govan was the best but she ran out of oil and honey. Govan wonders if it's wrong that they're are enjoying it (almost erotically so!)
JOSIE: I know! I'm gifted aren't I? Chickpea sandwich and I can turn it into that!!
GOVAN: Are we gonna be friends forever now?
JOSIE: Obviously! H'OBVIOUSLY!!
GOVAN: (Genuinely) I think we will. I think we'll be friends forever now.
JOSIE: What? Because of my chickpea sandwich?
GOVAN: In the name of Celine Dion things are gonna get serious.
He tells her to wait as he goes to grab digestives from Sunshine's drawers. He does inform Sunshine of these intentions, so does not deviously go behind her back. In the bedroom, John pulls Govan over to whisper in his ear.
GOVAN: But why? (Then carries out the dare from John) Sunshine, am I going tomorrow?
DAVE: Mystic Sunshine!
JOSIE: My little man's not going nowhere!!
JOHN: (Pipes up) What do you think, Sunshine? Do you think Gov's going?
Govan goes to sit beside Little Miss Sunshine on her bed. She says he is trying to wind it up. Govan jokes that he's a 'b*stard!' Sunshine pretends that she thinks Govan will (after telling him that she doesn't really) to play games with John.
JOHN: (outsmarting the S-martynWell, I know that you just shook his hand and told him the opposite.. so now I know ..I can't believe you think that persons going, Sunshine!! I'm very disappointed!
GOVAN: I'm not playing that kind of game.
SUNSHINE: (Refers to herself in the third person) YEAH, SUNSHINE WANTS A DIGESTIVE!! Corin, also wants a Digestive!
JOSIE: I feel like Father Christmas! (I can only guess this is because she is bestowing the gift of choccie biscuits on the HM's)
JOHN: I think this is your 1st wrong intuition! (to Sunshine. She asks why? And says Govan's going nowhere) Neither is Dave, and neither is Mario (Sunshine states 'in your opinion') so that only leaves 1 other person (Ben)
Govan tells him to stop as he's putting her in a very awkward position that could cause arguments. John protests he didn't say anything 'she did!!'
JOSIE: John!! I can't for a minute believe that you didn't say anything. (Sides with Glitterbug and her little man Gov)
JOHN: She said to Dave and Mario today that she didn't think they were going! (Govan says she's allowed to have a personal opinion) (Through laughs) I DIDN'T say that she wasn't!!
GOVAN: Alright, alright.Want some chickpea sandwich? It's very nice!
He thanks Josie so much for coming into his life :) Yet now, has nothing to do with her.. and although they both thought they'd H'OBVIOUSLY be life long friends.. that's long since swirled down the toilet pan to the sewers! :(
Sunshine snickers that the digestives have probably been nestling against her underwear all evening (as they were hidden in the depths of her drawer)
Josie creases up loudly in the background while 'Daddy' Govan shares out the biccies!
In the garden, ciggy chums, Nathan and Ife bet Rachael is having a wicked time. They think she is too attractive and clever, not to make any cash out of the show. They miss the glam girl with her one-liners shaking her little tail feather about 'she definitely went too early!' Nathan especially misses his sexy senorita. Ife would love her to come back in (SC as they talk about a past series) and is convinced there are definitely other HM's hidden in the house.
IFE: Narnia, where is it? Did they just make up pictures in the bedroom and then destroy it?
Nathan doesn't know what to think but conspiracy theories do his head in 'just have a good laugh and wait to see what happens!' He'd rather it remained a surprise as it is sh*t when you find out before and ruin one. They couldn't give a sh*t about Mario supposedly having a secret because he's such a nice guy. Ife really didn't think he was the mole as it was just too obvious. Nathan heads to bed after making Ife promise to turn in after brushing her teeth.
Josie is led on the end of John's double bed.
JOSIE: I walked right in to the kitchen right, like I was Delia Smith. Poured out the chickpeas, put em on the side, mushed them down - bit of salt, bit of pepper, teaaaspoons of honey and oil.
GOVAN: (Surprised gasp) Is thaaat what you did?!
Nathan tries to take hold of her arm before Govan gives him a heads up about the Digestives. Nathan asks where they are (beside Dave's bed!)
JOSIE: Between my teeth! (giggles)
JOSIE: So then I mushed it down again, right? Then I popped the toast down, spread it across so evenly .. It was like a grass that had just been mowed. Then I cut in half and gave it to my little man. And you were so happy, weren't you?
GOVAN: Ohh, honestly it was like a party in my mouth. I swear to God.
MARIO: And everyones invited! (SC)
JOSIE: I've got a disgusting laugh!
GOVAN: Oh, it was fantastic!
JOSIE: You're fantastic! (Sits up to speak to John. Who is lying down on his side with his back to his bed buddies talking with Nathan) Govan, you come in our bed later .. No, what's his name? John James, you come in our bed later!
NATHAN: Has he been grabbing your boobs?
JOSIE: Do you feel ashamed of yourself? No he didn't really grab my booby, he..just went like .. (holds her hand up) When I had to stick him up earlier, I pushed his hips .. didn't realise I was pushing his widger! And when I walked past he.. (giggles)
Mario gives Josie a fair warning that when he watched the task on the monitors (while Josie glued John's back) the camera 'did a massive close up of your t*ts!' John chortles and Govan calls it 'camera molestation!'
JOHN: (Openly admits) That's where my eyes were, so they wanted to show the view!
GOVAN: Apparently, you got a boner.. (SC, Josie laughs) when he touched Josie's t*t!
CAOIMHE: (Suggestively) John, you naughty boy!
MARIO: Imagine if he touched the other one!!
When they'd gone to the Diary room earlier, Josie was asked what was new that she'd learnt that day. 'I went errr, John James is a bit of a boob grabber!' Govan sings 'molesta-tache-ahannn!' Josie was really shocked and Govan tells John 'there's words for people like that, you know! They can arrest you for that kind of behaviour!' Caoimhe cautions them to be careful what they say as Sunshine is listening! Josie sucks her thumb.
JOHN: She was pushing on my ding dong! (Josie laughs) She pushed hard on it so I was like nearly in.. (SC)
Govan talks about Muriel's wedding and asks John if he's ever been to Pauper's spit. John asks what the hell a Pauper's smit is! Govan answers that it's in Australia, where Muriel's from and he's always wanted to go there. Josie asks if her green pillow is there 'how come you've got about 10 pillows on you bed?'
John tells her she always tries to take everything so she sweetly says 'sorry, John!' He questions where all her towels are anyway. Cut to Ife's silenced singing in the bathroom, then back to the bedroom and Josie is now not on John's bed.
Govan complains that he needs to go in the Diary room.
JOHN: Well, Ben's in there!! And you know how long it takes him to throw out a f**kin' sentence! He'll have more of a delay than Big Brother.. Big Brother'll be waiting for him!
Govan OMG's about all the sh*t in the bedroom toilet! John replies that they know so Govan demands to know why they haven't dealt with it then.
Govan trips over a bed, as he's not being funny but there's discoloured water in there. Josie volunteers to clean it tomorrow. Sunshine sneakily tries to convince Govan to pour his glass of water over John.
John must overhear as he calls 'don't start sunsheen!' which makes Josie giggle.
JOHN: (sits up) I dare you starscreen!! You're pretty cheeky .. (lays back down)
SUNSHINE: Who is? Who's cheeky? (I AM!!!!!!)
JOHN: You're cheeky!! (She insists she's not) you always try and get a little bit extra!
Josie is in hysterics over something and other HM's laughing. John sits up in bed grouchily 'is there a f**kin' hyena in here or what?!'
Josie warns Shabby she'll wet herself if she heard what Govan just said. Shabby shouts over 'ARE YOU TALKING TO ME??' Josie wants to tell her in the morning but Shabby says she'll come over to her bed if it's 'really good!' Josie will tell her in the morning, Shabby responds 'alright then, Titsy Larue!'
Caoimhe crudely asks if there is cum all over the bathroom. Josie says it's funnier than that! (SC) can't stop cackling at whatever the joke is. She tells Govan to shut up with a mouthful. Sunshine whacks Shabby with a pillow (who has her bum in the air on Josie's bed) very hard mistaking her for Govan .. Shabby is not impressed 'WHO JUST F**KING HIT ME?' Govan then lobs it onto John and Mario's bed (under doctor's orders) she then goes to retrieve it.
JOHN: What the F**K are you doing over here?!! (She informs him that she's getting her pillow back then whacks him viciously and John's not happy) are you f**kin' for real? No, no, no. What's going on here? I thought you wanted me to stop but now you're coming over here prancing sh*t and all your sparkles and that .. I thought you wanted to call a truce. I thought you wanted to call a truce! (She tries to grab the pillow back but John has a tighter grib of it so she takes hold of the dooner. She says she couldn't help it as he wants to know why she did it) Apologise to me and I'll apologise to you.. no, no .. and you accept my apology
JOHN: You know I didn't mean it. (She stands on the bed and tries to get on top of him demanding her pillow back repeatedly) Then you don't get your pillow! Are you gonna say sorry?
MARIO: How many threesomes am I gonna have tonight?
JOHN: You say sorry I'll give it back. I didn't do anything you just came over and hit me with the pillow for no reason.
SUNSHINE: I'm sorry.. Sorry you can't take a joke!
JOHN: Sorry, *I* can't take a joke?!! That's rich coming from you!! (she repeatedly demands her pillow) No, no, no.. you sorry? You sorry?
Sunshine says he's just dragging out the procedure as he wants her to stay on the bed longer. In her dreams!!
JOHN: You come over here, 'darling!' No, no! Remember how you stole my pillow? Looky what we have here!! You can either say sorry and get your pillow or go to bed with no pillow. There are your options! Option A- you say sorry.. (again she apologises that he can't take a joke) No! No!
JOHN: No matter what you do, you will not get back this pillow until you apologise properly.
SUNSHINE: I'm sorry you're a bad person! Give me my pillow BACK!!
JOHN: That is not an apology, that is an insult!
Shabby yells for her to shut up and Govan cheekily bops her on the head while her back is turned, making John chuckle.
JOHN: You're sorry? You'll take my apology? (She says 'no') so then NO! (He keeps repeating her options) and we still be friends or option B.. Shake hands! Shake hands! Shake hands! (He flops it back to her and she instantly goes to hit him) No! You're cheeky you are (she succeeds) she's like the devil in disguise!! (Dave and Govan jump on the bandwagon and gang up on John)
JOHN: She's che.. Cheeky b*tch!! You're lucky I like you (wanting to get rid of her) Go hop in bed .. go back to Auntie Corin! Corin's waiting for ya!! Call her back, Corin! Retain.. restrain your daughter from hitting me with the pillow.
Sunshine whinges that now she doesn't have a pillow.
JOHN: Well, how's that my fault? You tried to hit me over the head with it!! (She then approaches Govan and Josie's currently uninhabitated bed looking for a spare)
GOVAN: (Prevents her) No, no, no! No, Moonbeam! Move Sparkle! Don't you dare!! (John mimics 'move Sparkle!)
Josie comes back in 'it's like a mad house here!' and Govan warns 'if you steal Josie's pillow she'll mash you up!' Sunshine is searching for her missing pillow in the blackened bedroom, John seriously doesn't know where it's gone! Ben returns from the Diary room and John points out a pillow on the ground. She thinks it is Ben's but Dave teases that he probably has 2 or 3 anyway! Sunshine skips back over, armed with her fluffy weapon.
JOHN: (Talks to her as though she were a dog) Back! Back! (Then starts singing Transformers theme tune before he's SC) I was sleeping and I copped it round the head.. That's what you've gotta do or else you don't get back your pillow. Now go to sleep, sucker!
Shabby snaps for Ife to shut the F**K up when she asks what the time is. All Govan wanted to do is go in the Diary room for 5 minutes.
JOHN: Well, you can do that without having the f**king door open!
GOVAN: Listen, you! Don't start! (Ife asks him to check the time) What you expect me to clamber into the kitchen? (she does!)
Josie starts singing wouldn't it be loverly from My Fair Lady. Govan informs Ife 'I love you babe, but I'm not your slave!' She thinks it is only fair as she got him water and he's already up! She thanks him and loves him when he leaves, John calls him a 'SUCKER!'
He returns to announce it is 2minutes to 1 and that he'll be quick in with BB.
GOVAN: Swear to God.. Like John James!! In and out! (He leaves)
JOSIE: See you about 3 o'clock, love. (she doesn't like her bed without her little man)
JOHN: (After processing for a few seconds) I only just got what he meant then! 'John James in and out!'
NATHAN: 7 minutes!
JOHN: 7 minutes?! That's a good one! You can do a lot in 7 minutes!! (Bedroom is peaceful then SC)
I bet you can, Parton.. I bet you can ;)
Sunshine doesn't want to go to sleep. Steve silences her 'shut up!'
JOHN: I love how soon as she talks Baron's like 'shut up!'
JOHN: Ah, shut up! You come over and hit me with a pillow.
Sunshine mimics John's comments earlier and Shabby snaps 'are you serious? Are you actually serious? Is this starting again?' as she is disturbing her from falling asleep! Sunshine agrees to stop talking and John laughs to himself 'shooting star!'
GOVAN: Quickest diary room entry ever!
JOHN: He told you to f**k off, didn't he? 'Thank you, Govan. The Diary room door is now open!'
Govan objects to this as he'd been really nice. Govan went in to thank them for giving him the opportunity, that's it.
NATHAN: Suck ass!
JOHN: (Touched) Did you really go in there and say that?
He did as might be going home tomorrow. General exclamations that he won't be! Govan 'oh f**k off you b*stards!'
JOSIE: (Proudly) Well done, Govan that is a really nice, respectful thing to do! And I hope everyones seen that you did that!
NATHAN: You're no son of mine with your licky, licky brown nose!
GOVAN: Good!
JOSIE: Nathan! He is our son! Don't deny him!!
The room is SILENT! John picks his nose and flicks it.Josie makes Govan laugh then gets up to walk to the wardobe wearing just her vest top and knickers. John turns his neck so quickly it's a miracle he didn't get whiplash .. To have a look!
JOHN: (Pretending to be irritated) Oh, what's going on now?!
JOSIE: Shut your mop! (John giggles)
Govan insists it is his turn on that side of the bed but Josie says 'noooo!'
JOHN: (stumbles over his words due to her lack of clothes?) Why ha.. why have you got.. why are you taking our quilt?
JOSIE: Cos in the morning, I'm doing all my washing.
JOHN: What, you gonna wash all our silks? (She returns to her bed)
JOSIE: May as well, I do everyone elses!
JOHN: What are you doing tomorrow, Jose?
JOSIE: WASHING!
JOHN: Yeah, colours or whites?
JOSIE: Both!
BEN: Yes Johnny?
JOHN: What did you say when Dave tipped the ice down your back?
BEN: I said 'oh for God's sake!'
JOHN: (Guffaws loudly) Oi Go, Go.. (Giggles mercilessly)
Govan is wrestling with Josie to move her over from the side of the bed he wants. She won't budge claiming she has crumbs down that side of the bed.
JOHN: That's almost my Big Brother highlight! Hey Wizard! How funny was it when you tipped ice down Benny's baaaack?!! Haaaa! He was like 'FOR GOD'S SAKE!!' How was his face! (Dave had decided it was either ice or Ben would die strung up on the tape)..I was struggling to breathe. Oh God that was so..
As Govan is still determined to shift Jose from his spot in the bed- she suggests she spoons him so he doesn't fall off!
JOHN: With his sweeny hat on and his aviators!
GOVAN: That was so funny, he barked at Dave like a rabid dog! (Ruffs and John can barely breathe for laughter)
JOHN: Watching him trying to get out! God, that was F**kin' funny!!
JOSIE: He couldn't breathe! (Govan thought Ben was going to knock someone out as he went mad!)
JOHN: He tried to headbutt him! (They all laugh) Oi, did you think that was funny Ben? Any of that? If you could have seen yourself in the mirror with your aviators and your ears sticking out of the swimming hat..looked like he'd been electrocuted! (When his head burst through) Oh, that's almost the funniest thing I've seen this .. This round!
JOSIE: What? See Ben nearly murdered?
JOHN: (Cracks up) And his face was expressionless the whole time!
JOSIE: Watching his eyes roll back round his head and he nearly passed out!
Dave says he was wilting in the sun. His head dropped!
SHABBY: (Peeved) please stop shouting!
JOHN: Trying to get out of it like a worm!
JOSIE: 'Ere Ben! You haven't got any of that tape under your bed, have you?
JOHN: I'd pay good money to see that again! (Everyone laughs as they continue to giggle at Ben's expense)
Govan swirls some of Josie's mouth wash after she reminds him that he doesn't have to swallow it. Ife is horrified that he's going to use the 'poo toilet' as she describes it. He gags as he goes in!!!! Josie asks if there is sick in there as well, Govan declares that there are lumps of sh*t everywhere!
John asks him if he mentioned the sh*t in the toilet when he was in the Diary room. (As you do!!) Govan says it wasn't really part of the conversation. (Silence as they try to settle)
JOHN: You're lucky I was glued to the f**kin' wall cos I'd have been straight on the ground where Jose was! I'd have been rolling round! That was so hard .. I got a stitch it was that f**kin' funny! My cheeks were literally hurting ..
John and Govan continue to have a giggle at Ben's expense and how Dave was trying to be a friend putting ice down his back and was barked at! (Govan gnashes his teeth) .. A bit tooooo loudly for Shabby's liking!
JOHN: He goes, 'For God's sakes!' That's what he said, 'I'm hot, I'm hot!!' So they pour f**kin' ice down his back .. (Josie cracks up) that'll cool him down! (John can't stop laughing as Dave comes over to his bed) Oh sh*t! What the f**k made you pour ice down his back?
SUNSHINE: Yeah but ice on skin really hurts!
JOHN: I f**kin' couldn't breathe!! (Still giggling as more HM's join in the jokes and laughter) Like you were a universal soldier or something!
Shabby again shouts for them to 'shut up!'
JOHN: I love how we're all laughing but Ben still faces the side! He doesn't f**king move! Are you still awake, Ben? Benny? Get some ice! Are you awake? Are you awake?
BEN: (Sleepily grouchy) Well I am now! (Making them laugh more heartily!)
JOHN: 'Get some ice down his back!!' Ha ha ha HAAAAAAAA!! With the f**kin' swimming hat on his head!!
JOSIE: We'd better go to sleep now.. But he was like a f**kin' alsation!! (Govan "more like a rottweiler!")
JOHN: F**k! I hope they show that on TV!! That's the highlight of the series so far. (Dave thought they'd lost him when Ben's head flopped the 2nd time) Haaaa! With the aviators on .. With the f**kin' swimming hat!! (Govan is replaying the growl in his head) Why did he need to be wearing a swimming hat? He was getting f**kin' taped to the wall! What the f**k did a swimming hat have to do with the task? (Giggles even more) HAAA!! 'I'm so hot! I'm so hot!! Get the ice!!
Govan imitates the (angry) growling Ben made.
JOHN: I can't get his expressionless face out of my head! Ha haaa! (Sounds like he's trying to muffle his laughter under his duvet)
Shabby gets out of bed to leave the room 'I can't listen to the same story' Govan apologises and tells her 'we've stopped now!' When she leaves HM's burst into hysterics!
Shabby spends some alone time in the bathroom and lays down in there for some peace and quiet. In the bedroom they're STILL laaaaughing! Steve reminds them that Ben is actually in the room.
JOHN: Well we're not likely to get a f**kin' response from him, are we? (Josie and John can't stop) At what point did you realise that you couldn't f**king breathe? What point did you realise .. And everyones going 'just do little ones, Ben! Just do little ones! Only an hour to go!' He was going blue in the face..
JOSIE: The funniest was the girls just kept wrapping it and wrapping it ..
JOHN: 'It's alright! Just do little breaths! It doesn't matter if you can't breathe! We wanna win the task!' HAAAAAA!
Dave laughs at how annoyed Ife was off the back of it as she would have stayed up there even if she'd passed out.
Govan had to help him 'no one was moving to let the poor guy out! He was having palpitations!' John thought it was too f**king funny trying to watch Ben get out of there.
JOSIE: (cackles) I couldn't help him .. I was too busy rolling around on the ground laughing!
JOHN: If I could've, I would've been on the ground with ya! F**kin' hell that was funny!
Ife can find it funny now but at the time she was p*ssed off!
DAVE: That would have made some great viewing, man!
Govan had never heard a growl like it.
JOHN: Dave nearly fell over! A little bit of spit would've gone in your eye! F**king hell! You didn't see the growl? Oh that was the f**kin' funniest bit!! (Recounts the story to Mario about the ice and how Ben tried to headbutt him) Dave nearly sh*t his pants! And then at 1 point you thought about getting the remainder of ice out of the back of his back but thought he was gonna snap at ya! You alright Benny?
BEN: Absolutely! Top of the world (!!)
JOHN: Would you do that task again?
BEN: What do YOU think?
Shabby storming round in the bathroom. Back to bedroom!
JOHN: I can't see your face but I'm sure you're nodding, Ben! I'm sure you're doing that nod that you do!
Dave thinks the guys at home will be thinking 'what on Earth are we seeing?!' Shabby wanders round the house into the kitchen then out into the garden for some 'baci! Ben is sat up in bed.
BEN: What?
JOHN: You can go back to bed now.
BEN: I'm waiting for you to do the joke again! (They laugh) I know Australians aren't exactly known for their intellects but I thought you'd prove that wrong ..
GOVAN: Careful, careful! That's border-line racism..
JOHN: Did you hear that, Big Brother? That's racist!
BEN: No, it's nationalist! It's not a crime .. If I had said it about race or religion.. But that doesn't matter ..
GOVAN: We'll see about that in 5 minutes time 'this is Big Brother would Benjamin please come to the Diary room!'
BEN: No, not at all ..
GOVAN: He's suggesting that you're unfunny cos you're Australian!
Ben doesn't think this at all, he thins Australians are very funny 'I think John's particularly sharp and academic, that's all..' John doesn't know what that means.
BEN: Well, quite!
SUNSHINE: He's saying you're stupid!
GOVAN: He's saying you're a moron!
JOHN: You suggested that I was thick!
JOSIE: GOVAN!! You've just farted on my side (he denies this)
JOHN: You suggested that I was thick, Benjamin!
JOHN: A little slow? You stood up on the f**king wall for 43 minutes and then on the 45th or something you decided you couldn't breathe!! What part of that was fast?
BEN: That's not slow, that's delayed reaction!
JOHN: After 43 minutes! How much slower can you get? 'Hang on there fellows, I've decided I can't f**king breathe! Get me down. Get me down!'
Ben queries whether John has ever passed a test which cracks John up. Ben presses on with the question 'Any form of a test, probably a driving but..'
JOHN: I was gonna say driving, so lucky you ruled that one out..
BEN: That's good (!)
DAVE: He did look pretty rough up there, mind!
Shabby is puffing away on her nicotine stick! The bedroom is silent, Shabby goes to brush her teeth in the bathroom.
JOHN: Is Shabs here?
GOVAN: Shabs?
SHABS: (Crossly) Yes!! (Walks back in to go to bed)
JOHN: Hey Benny, did you know that Australians actually have the um.. highest intelligence rate in the world?
GOVAN: (Scoffs) 'Intelligence rate' that says everything!
JOHN: Intelligence level.. No, it does, they really do! The highest intelligence level in the world! (SC) if they don't I'll walk..
JOSIE: Not again!!
BEN: That's a surefire .. (Sarcastic)
JOHN: You don't believe wikipedia? (As though everyone in the galaxy ought to!)
GOVAN: It can be edited on a whim!
BEN: No! You could have written that 5 minutes before I looked at it!
JOHN: No, seriously! They really do. I'm not saying I'm one of them!
STEVE: (Cheeks) That's for sure (!)
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