Live feed night 14 P2

Cut back to John and Josie's game of sock ball. John confesses to Josie that he says he's going to the toilet and then runs out of the club (when he doesn't want to hurt a girl's feelings if she likes him!!) 

JOSIE (horrified) OMG! Talk about knocking someone's confidence, John! You can't do things like that to women!

JOHN: (Stammers) but I can't bear.. I'd rather that than look at .. Look at their reaction if I said no.. so I just run out the club.. then I ring my mate and I say 'I'm out in the car' and then say 'what are you doing?' And I say 'I can't go back in there, are we gonna go to a different club? I'll just hang out here' and then.. 

JOSIE: (Still stunned at the revelation) Bet your mates think you're so weird!

JOHN: (Feels he has to explain further) Because I couldn't go back into the club knowing that.. (giggles) yeah, I just feel too bad.. 

JOSIE: You're .. you're weird!!

JOHN: But, how are you meant to say no to someone? That's why I couldn't.. 

JOSIE: Just say you've got a girlfriend!

JOHN: Yeah, I've lied about that before!! (laughs) But um.. that's why I feel really strange with the whole um.. 

WOAH?????? WHAT????? WAIT????? John actually acknowledged that he has lied! Yet.. SOME of his extremist fans on twitter allege that Saint John would never lie about anything, ever!! 

John is a bolter - when situations become too hard for him to handle, he has to get the hell away.. to hide. Him leaving, was likely to have dented Josie's confidence massively.. and in turn, John's confidence in both himself and his feelings of security in their relationship had clearly plummeted too .. for him to feel that it was necessary for him to leave. 

While, I remain a believer that John's intentions were always to come back to the UK for Josie (though that intention was quickly vanquished, due to incidents after him leaving our shores) .. from this conversation, I can see why some are convinced, that he never planned to return. 

I won't ever know for certain, what was in John's heart, when he promised Josie he'd be back for her.. and nor do I need to.. but I know I saw great love and sadness in his eyes when he eventually left her, at the airport. That wasn't the outcome he had wanted for their relationship.. he had hoped it would all work out.. it just got too much for them :'( 

JOSIE: (Admonishes) Just be flattered! I don't know why you got to.. 

JOHN: I didn't say I wasn't flattered (about Sunshine fancying him) I didn't say that. 

JOSIE: (Presses) But you feel strange? I think Sunshine's only joking.. (don't think she was, love!) 

JOHN: Yeah, but it still puts me.. it makes me feel uncomfortable, yeah.. cos what if she wasn't? .. She's like 'don't you think I'm good looking, John?' What the hell am I meant to say to that? As IF I'm going to answer that!

JOSIE: Yeah.. say 'yeah, I think you are good looking.' 

JOHN: (worries) But then she might go 'ooh, alright then, let's get the Mac Daddy Swerve on!'

JOSIE: Um.. I don't think Sunshine's the type of girl to say that, John!

JOHN: Well, she's said everything else! Why not throw that in there? 

It looks like John is cheekily checking out Josie as she bends forward to pick up the sock ball!! ;)

JOSIE: (Teasing) Well, if she's gonna be a doctor, she's gonna have a bit of money in the bank!

JOHN: Oh, cos that means a lot (!) (they laugh) What's that got to do with the price of fish??

Josie asks to play with a smaller ball as it may be harder to catch. The larger size has become too easy for them!

JOSIE: (Warns) I can do this all night, mind! 

JOHN: (Fishes for info) Um.. I reckon you could get it on with Nathan by the time the series is over! (Josie looks repulsed!) I reckon I'll go reasonably early.. and I reckon by the time the series is over.. I reckon.. 

JOSIE: (Standoffish) NO!

JOHN: You don't fancy him in that way? 

JOSIE: No. 

JOHN: I thought.. I thought you did. 

JOSIE: (Peeved) Er.. who told you that? 

JOHN: No one, I'm just.. I just.. I just thought that you did.. 

JOSIE: (Confirms once more) No. (John asks why?) I don't know.. cos I don't. What gave you the impression I did anyway? 

JOHN: Um.. nah, I just thought.. I thought.. I thought, maybe you would fancy him (all the while, praying with his entire soul that she didn't!!) 

JOSIE: (Puzzled) What made you think that? 

JOHN: Cause you said you like unique guys.. he's the only person I've ever met with a monobrow! A proper one! A real one! I've only ever seen cartoons .. and when you said, you like unique guys.. I thought 'yeah, he fits the criteria!' He's not a bad looking bloke!

JOSIE: Yeah, I know .. he's a good looking guy.. that's like me saying to you 'you might get it on with Sunshine!'

JOHN: Is that the same thing?

JOSIE: Well Sunshine's a good looking girl! He's just not... I'm really fond of Nathan but.. 

JOHN: (Hearing what he had hoped she was saying!) You're really fond of me? What? 

JOSIE: (Confirms it not to be the case) I'm really fond of Nathan but ..not like that!

JOHN: (Jests) Yeah, alright.. settle down! You got all funny about that, didn't ya? 

JOSIE: Yeah, I know cos everybody thinks that. 

JOHN: (Hadn't caught on to this) Oh, do they?!

JOSIE: No.. everybody thinks, cos you talk to somebody whatever.. 

JOHN: (Starting to feel bad) Nah, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable.. relax!

JOSIE: No, I'm not.. but.. 

JOHN: Cos, I didn't say anything about Gov.. when you talk to Go' a lot!

JOSIE: Yeah, but I think that's different.. that is different. 

JOHN: Oh, is it? 

JOSIE: Course it is! (John 'oh's) I wanted to tell you something but I can't.. (John 'hey's) I wanted to tell you something but I couldn't.. (she possibly wanted to confide in him about Govan's sexuality)

JOHN: Why? 

JOSIE: (Mumbles) Because um.. they don't want no one knowing.. 

JOHN: Pardon? 

JOSIE: Nothing! I'll tell you on the outside world.. 

JOHN: You'll tell me everything on the outside world! (SC) Is it to do with Nate? Is it to do with Nate? (perhaps thinking Josie may not want to admit to liking Nathan in front of the cameras!)

JOSIE: Nooo. 

JOHN: Well.. do you .. do you not want people knowing? (misunderstanding why she is being so secretive) 

JOSIE: Well.. I don't.. 

JOHN: (Observes) You're private in some ways aren't ya?.. (Repeats this) but  other times you're just .. really, really open!

JOSIE: Yeah because it's not about me! That's why.. I don't care about myself.. (John 'huh's) It's not about me!! Yeah I don't care about myself .. But I wouldn't ever disrespect someone..

JOHN: (Catches a clue) Oh, is it about someone?

JOSIE: Yeah!


JOHN: Okay, that's fair enough.

JOSIE: Oh NO! (John wants to know "what?")I didn't realise Nathan was in there (She's noticed he is in the kitchen) 

JOHN: Why? Nuh I was being serious! I wasn't trying to set something up or anything I was just saying.. (his eyes dart back and forth and Josie laughs)

Setting that up was the last thing he wanted. He was laying some groundwork, to try and discover her feelings towards Nathan and see if *HE* was in with a chance!!!

JOSIE: (Exclaims) Everybody else is!


JOHN: Everybody else is saying..?


JOSIE: Trying to set it up! (Much to her disdain)

JOHN: Oh I didn't mean anything by it.. I didn't know you were gonna get all funny about it! I was just asking.. 

JOSIE: I'm not funny about it. I'm not funny about it! (Pulls on hoody strings, John 'alright's in a disbelieving tone! She chews her cheek)  

JOHN: No, I didn't know everyone else was.. 

JOSIE: No, you're about the third person who's said that to me. 

JOHN: Oh, sorry.. 

JOSIE: No, I don't mind.. I don't care.. 

JOHN: I feel bad now!

JOSIE: (Scrunches up her nose) Why?! 

JOHN: Oh, because I don't like it when people talk about.. cos that makes me feel uncomfortable so.. I thought I was probably the only one that would have said that to you.. 

JOSIE: Obviously everyone's my husband.. but (drops ball) to be the 'real' husband yeah, John.. you've got to be pretty different. (John nods)

JOSIE: I just like um.. but the thing is with me, yeah? I love male company! I love being around men. 

JOHN: (permits) Yeah, you can talk to and hang around whoever you want.. (Josie sighs "yeah)I don't think that every person.. Every guy that you talk to.. You fancy!

JOSIE: Mm (and sucks her thumb) but I swear like..

JOHN: I didn't think that at all .. I just thought that maybe..

JOSIE: No .. on the outside.. I swear on the outside world people must think I'm a riiight get around because I hang around with so many men! So they probably think 'ooh look at her..

JOHN: (Assures) Nah people can see that you prefer the company of men.. People can see that! There's nothing wrong with that!

JOSIE: Oh is it? People see that, do you?

JOHN: Yeah, for sure!! You haven't done anything .. What have you done? I've shaved your arms and painted your nails.. What else have you done apart from that?(Digging to see if she has done anything with other male HM's that could be construed as her liking one) what else have you done that would symbolise that you fancy anyone .. Anyone in here.. Except for friends? (To see what his status is?)

JOSIE: Mm! Wow! Did you see that? (Impressed at her own good catch)

JOHN (Nods and returns to the matter at hand) You've done a couple diary room entries about me but people will know you're p*ssing about! So.. Apart from that what..

JOSIE: What? Our lovers tiff?!

JOHN: Yeah like.. As if anyone's gonna think that you're like that! Look what we're doing .. You're throwing a ball!

JOSIE: Yeah, I know. I don't mean it in that way ..

JOHN: Ah, I was gonna say .. Don't worry about being ..

JOSIE: Does it look like I just hang around with the blokes?

JOHN: (matter-of-factly)Yeah.

JOSIE: Does it?!

JOHN: (Clarifies) Nuh .. Not just! But it looks like you prefer.. Not prefer .. That you get along better with guys.. What's wrong with that? It's cos you were brought up with heaps of um.. Heaps of male people so..

JOSIE: Yeah because ..I don't look at men and women as being any different.. But I think sometimes..

JOHN: No, neither do I! (Louder) Neither do I!!

JOSIE: .. You do!

JOHN: I don't. Do you think I get along with blokes better? (Josie does think so) I probably get along with you 1 of the best in the house though.

JOSIE: Yeah, I know.. But I'm a bit different, aren't I? I'm a bit of a bloke..

JOHN: (This was your cue to say NO, Mr Parton!!) Um... See um .. Ife isn't! And I get along with Ife .. Well I'd like to get along better with her but..

JOSIE: Have you got a lot of female friends outside of here?

JOHN: Urrmm.. Not.. Obviously I've got more male friends.. But yeah! But it gets a bit funny.. (Josie - why?) Because normally..

JOSIE: (guesses correctly) They end up becoming a fan?

JOHN: Yeah!

JOSIE: Do they?!

JOHN: Yeah.Yeah..

JOSIE: (Flirts) I'll try not to, John!

JOHN: And then I cut them off.. 

JOSIE: Do you? 

JOHN: Depends how serious it gets.. like I'm all up for a flirt and all that! But um.. and like.. stuff about.. but um.. if I feel like I'm gonna hurt someone.. then I start feeling bad.. it's alright to like .. mack on with someone if it means something.. but if they start to genuinely like you and you're macking on with them or something.. it gets a bit serious, don't it? And that's when you can start hurting people's feeling's.. I'm scared of hurting people's feelings.. as stupid as that sounds.. because of what I said.. because of the way I reacted with Rachael and you.. but deep down.. I care a lot! And I felt really bad when Rach left? 

JOSIE: (Surprised) Did you? 

As well as it tearing John's heart up inside that their relationship was failing; it was probably killing John knowing that he was responsible for hurting Josie too. The above underlinings are very profound and are an admittance that he DOES care very much (about hurting anyone).. and I suspect he always will. So depending on how John worded *that* e-mail to Josie I can understand how Josie would interpret the message as him hating himself for his behaviour. I can't imagine he would have been proud of the things he had said and done in contributing to the downfall of their relationship and friendship.. and that will no doubt weigh and prey on his conscience for the rest of his life :( 

JOHN: Yeah, when I heard the boos and that - yeah.. That's when it hit me how much I cared, yeah. I really wanted to um.. I really wanted to say goodbye to her and that.. And obviously she didn't get a lot of time .. And um..

JOSIE: (Scolds playfully) Come on! No time to talk. Just chat while you throw..

JOHN: Yeah.. That's when it clicked..but we sorted things out before she left anyway so.. I'm glad we did though..

JOSIE: Yeah because you woulda felt really sh*t!(SC – Just like they both probably felt that things were never really resolved between them) How long have we been doing this for?

JOHN: I dunno, about 15 minutes or somethin'.

Nathan has sat by the sofas and is now chatting with John about Dave yapping away to Sunshine. John thinks the glass to the bedroom must be really thick as he can't hear "jack sh*t!' But Nathan can defo hear noise from the living area when he's IN the bedroom. John hopes that "Sunshine didn't put her sh*t in my drawers!" Shabby and Govan come in too. John laughs that it's always the same people that are out at night and the same that get up early. 

JOHN: Let's face it the only reason we get up is because .. you think if you get up they're gonna turn the alarm off! That's the only reason I sit up.. and as soon as it stops, back to sleep!!

Shabby had enjoyed the Dolly Parton experience the other day (when the wake up alarm played was her song 9-5 as part of Corin's special day) Scene cuts to the kitchen, where Mario imagines that the designers set to work for the next BB house immediately after a series finishes. 

JOSIE: On my application form they said 'what do you do when people think you're bored?' And I said 'only boring people get bored!' And they just used my line on me!!

John giggles and Govan gripes that the alarm only 'anger's him and makes him want to lie back down. He would prefer the alarm of the baby crying. John says it's the lights that p*ss him off.

JOSIE: Can you start doing me a few harder ones?(She's referring to John throwing the sock ball harder before any of your smutty minds go into overdrive!! I know what the smut corner is like!!)

Shabby hates that the alarm sounds like 'a f**king pneumatic drill' in her head!! She flips someone the bird(s)!

GOVAN: (to JJJ) You guys won't be happy until you've broken some of that perspex! 

Shabby and Caoimhe would be in grand company with Nikki Grahame as they find the Air con to essentially be 'absolute torture!' Govan challenges his mates to throw the ball as hard as they can to see who can catch it. He chuckles that he's just waiting (on the couch) for them to break something!