11.28am, Tonight Nathan (who is washing his jocks in a pan on the hob) and John James face eviction. Josie is trying to get John to stop (she's not trying hard I'll grant you that) from giving her a whopper of a wedgie while they are in bed together.
JOSIE: DON'TTTTT, John!! (her voice muffles into the pillow as she owwssss and screams out) Owwww, Big Brother!! (possibly pinches him under the covers)
JOHN: (leans away losing steam) B*tch! (her utterances indicate her pain) You just had to push it, didn't ya?
He takes a handle on things and stretches back over to take a handle on her by roughly rumpling her hair.
JOSIE: Is this your way of telling me that you do love me?
JOHN: (his voice noticeably softens) Yeah, I do love you Josie, awww.(holds her hostage in a hug as this is joyous for him)
The audience at home awws alongside, there's a glow in our heart and John's as he wraps up Joses' pumpkin head in his arms, resting his face on top of hers and closing his eyes with a smile of serenity. He always does something to annoy her, followed up by something guaranteed to make her miss him if he was to go.
John's sugary sweetness with Josie could make anyone an instant diabetic, but I didn't even care cos they were so cute I wanted to eat them up!! I'm looking for a honey like him as there was something about him and his deep, undying devotion for Jose that was so precious. They had it gooooood and they didn't even really realise it or appreciate that.. they couldn't have or they'd have fought harder for their love, the way Cheryl Cole sings about doing :D.. even when they had their dark periods. If you're lucky enough to find someone that great, you do what you can to hold onto them..
So what if their loving it up was an unwelcome burden to the JJJ UNappreciators? BB couldn't devote its full attention to your favourites and John and Josie were the main story that summer which is why they were such a focus. Like this, they often spoke about how they loved each other - but do you think either of them knew they were in love yet, even if they denied it vocally? I think at this stage they were still very mixed up and confused with all these emotions and were abstaining from looking into it for fear of finding out that these feelings were not mutual. But they could tell they had way too much affection and attachment for it to be ONLY a normal friendship.. and felt that their paths were supposed to cross somehow after the show.
So what if their loving it up was an unwelcome burden to the JJJ UNappreciators? BB couldn't devote its full attention to your favourites and John and Josie were the main story that summer which is why they were such a focus. Like this, they often spoke about how they loved each other - but do you think either of them knew they were in love yet, even if they denied it vocally? I think at this stage they were still very mixed up and confused with all these emotions and were abstaining from looking into it for fear of finding out that these feelings were not mutual. But they could tell they had way too much affection and attachment for it to be ONLY a normal friendship.. and felt that their paths were supposed to cross somehow after the show.
Corin and Ben are in the bathroom. Big Ben rambles that he gets on with all sorts of people and she should know that; she can't imagine him dating someone like her though. Do you know what she means? As much as he'd like to rock her world, it'd be funny for Corin if he took her to a fancy Italian restaurant with superb food 'I'd be like "I only want a McDonald's Ben, you're annoying me!'
This is true but Ben supposes that they could learn and compromise a bit. Combing her hair Corin classes the lad as not being able to do compromise; his mind is being blown here as he doesn't get how she knows that.
CORIN: It's your way or the highway!
BEN: You are right but how do you know?
She knows and told him that she can read people and has read him; now believing that nothing gets past Corin he asks her what his good and bad points are, requesting that she is honest. His bad points according to her are that he's very sneaky and she doesn't mean it in a bad way 'but it's all about you.' For instance, if she had a little fake tan that she was saving for when she is kicked out, Ben would probably think 'I'll take a little bit, she'll never notice.' He laughs because she is right.
Though later the guilt would get to him and Ben would come clean; he chuckles that she can't seem to think of any good aspects of his character 'Am I kind? I hope I'm kind.' Ermmmmm she doesn't know.. she should imagine so.. (after mulling it over) she takes it back as Ben is kind actually. What's his is HIS and what's hers is his too :D She didn't intend to bust his balls about not thinking much of him as he knows Corin thinks he's mint.
BEN: (don't be snotty!) People like John can see the bad bits of me but they're too stupid to see the good side.
His good, funny, sense of humour side is seen by Corin but she doesn't take life too seriously which is why he probably comes to her for Corrie chats but turns to others for political ones. Ben would never make the insane decision to go to her for that knowing she'd say for him to shut up!
2.14pm, Josie informs John that when he first came in she thought he was gay.
JOHN: (the misunderstanding is not so hilarious to him) Why? What did I do?
JOSIE: Flirting with Ben and Mario. It wasn't boisterous messing around, it was like flirting messing around.
CAOIMHE: (as though he's a freak of sideshow proportions) John James, are you gay?
JOHN: (under duress) Nah, seriously. (Keev amends the question 'are you bi-curious?') Nah. One hundred %. Swear to God. I don't believe in God but swear to him. (Josie wants him to swear on her life) Swear on your life but nah ..
JOSIE: Little bit? Little bit?
JOHN: Seriously not.
I can understand people mistaking John for gay at first but really he's just in touch with his metrosexuality and comfortable around the same gender and being tactile with them. Just because he's not a generic guy that goes around with his tongue out whenever a girl is wearing a fruity outfit, or slapping asses of every female around, or out night after night on the pull to buck birds and then never seeing them again like Gaz from Geordie Shore.. it doesn't make him any less of a heterosexual or a man. I don't want him to go around deliberately breaking hearts and not giving these women another thought.. he's better than that and I respect his ways so much more, even if the world considers them old-fashioned.
Irony of ironies, Mario manifests to Nathan than something big is happening tonight as it's the 4 week mark. And usually when the series is nearly a third of the way through, something is done to.. not spice things up but mess with their minds.
Ben is in the Diary room discussing tonight's eviction. If either were evicted, possibly more than any other eviction, it will effect the house profoundly. Should Nathan go it would be a very practical difference as they've lost someone who is very much the bed rock of the house but he's a bit grumpy and doesn't particularly get involved with people. In certain ways it would mean people could cook for themselves a bit more as he self-appointed himself as the chef 'and I don't think that would be a bad thing.'
BEN: (jealousy of his relationship with Josie rears its ugly head) If John goes, I think the politics and personality will differ quite a lot.. because if John goes.. as much as the rest of us love Josie, we're not going to replace that role particularly so.. I think that John going will devastate Josie but personally speaking, he causes so many rows that would be a positive.
As much as I often wanted to slap his polysyllabic mouth for his John bashing, at least he had ascertained how important John was to Josie and how heavyhearted she'd have been if he was to go. But John was not the bad seed of the BB house like Ben, the redundant little rodent tried to make him out to be. He and his quiff can go to hell! You've got to love the karma that came upon him a few short weeks later; the public picked up on how singularly obsessed he was with John.
4.07pm, Josie is singing some reggae-sounding song I don't recognise about feeling good, good, good as she applies her blusher. Whilst Mario stares into the bitter, surly kill joy's eyes having observed that something didn't look right; Ben had squeezed a spot near it. And is told in no uncertain terms that if he does so again, Mario will spank his heiney then leaves him because he needs to go for a wee.
Some of the HM's are in the bedroom speculating about new HM's. Coringe cogitates that whoever leaves tonight will go into a new bedroom and pick newbies from about 4/5 possibilities and they'll start again. Then the following week, 2 people will be sent packing alongside a surprise eviction on the Wednesday 'and they'll just get rid of people like that, innit?'
STEVE: Will you be buzzin' though?
She will be BUZZIN' with new people but doesn't want to be having no one c*cky though it might happen. Josie doesn't want a 'complete b*tch' in there; Steve smirks that a week in there would sort them out and they'd soon be depressed.
JOSIE: And I don't want anyone who's gonna rule the roost. Cos I'm just gonna ignore 'em if that's the case.. if they're really nice, then they can be my mate.
Corin fully expects that someone like that will be brought in to stir up sh*t. Josie bets the (original) HM's would all stick together if a new monstrosity of a HM was brought in to do that; Steve would vote the f**kers out the next week. Josie changes her mind almost immediately as it would depend on how many fags they had on them!! :D 'Joooking, joking.'
(ad break)
5.16pm, all the HM's are in the garden. John doesn't think BB can leave anything to chance as far as HM's are concerned as even the set up of the house has been designed with Stevo in mind. They even have the handrails and the seat there for him in the shower; Josie sings loudly from the pool 'Easy like a Sunday morning.'
JOHN: (drop the tude, dude) Oh come on Jose give it a f.. rest! You've got a horrible voice!
Josie shoots him down as she can do whatever she wants but soon has the thumb to suck. He's all sweaty and aggravated that she may as well be singing 'Old battery, new battery.'
Foghorn screeches back in the kind of voice that makes men's ears bleed that those 2 may hate the song she made up but she hates when John speaks about what he hates or says 'I'm getting angry now' or 'oh yeeeeeah!' (which actually is a catchphrase of Caoimhe's) Keevil wants to add fuel to the fire by parroting back 'I'm lovin' it, I'm lovin' it!' while cooling in the pool.
JOHN: (sweetie, that was a little passive aggressive) Don't you love it? Do you not.. (Corin repeating gettin' angry now over again) ahh do you not love that? (she doesn't) Are you not buzzin' when I say that? Are you not buzzin? (she mm's) Ah, well there you go! Something that Corin isn't lovin'!
The store room opens for John James and Nathan to collect their suitcases. Josie snickers to Caoimhe 'I hope they're putting another fittie in! Look at me, who do I think I am?' In the bedroom, John now has his case and Mario warns him that rage is building and violence is imminent, sensing that Corin is on the warpath.
She storms through purely to broadcast that she's going into the Diary room to have a 'good, old b*tch!'
JOHN: (makes fun of her with a parody) Oh my Goooood!
CORIN: (having what I would categorise as a hissy fit) Don't take the p*ss out of me, don't take the p*ss out of me because I will not take your sh*t, right! I will not take it, you jumped up, little sh*t! (John laughs in her face) I will not take it. So don't even think you can bring an argument to me. Don't. Cos I won't take it.
JOHN: (do you really wanna poke the mama bear?) Don't take the p*ss out of me, if you can't take it. Don't go around..
CORIN: (charges at him like a bull) When have I ever, ever took the p*ss out of you?
He prompts her that she'd just been ridiculing him outside over his usage of 'gettin' angry now!' She asserts that she'd done so after he took the p*ss out of her.
JOHN: When did I take the p*ss out of you?
She will not rest until every single camera is on her and hears her POV over how he'd been mimicking her old battery, new battery tune and 'buzzin!'
JOHN: (oh how she hallucinates) But you weren't singing it! You weren't singing it.. you weren't singing it, that was after. That was after, that was after!
CORIN: (gets all psychopathic and maniacy) Argue with yourself, argue with yourself!
JOHN: That was after! What's this.. (glowers as he detects something dark is happening here) oh what's this sh*t?
She looks over her shoulder to sneer that he's so angry, 'so funny innit?' Corin is furious right now when John (who probably wants to blow off his own head) taunts that it is; she is so purse lipped that she must have sucked 1000 lemons, lets him know that the joke will be on him.
JOHN: I'm laughing, are you? (she's a broken record as she echos again that the joke will be on him and leaves) How will it be on me? (she shouts back 'we'll see!' clearly believing that he will get kicked out that night) I'm fine. I'm fine, well that's great. As long as you're lovin' it and you're buzzin' that's fine!
This is one of the moments Corin gets a little hotheaded and homicidal for almost no reason at all. She returns to jeer that she is so glad she's hardly spoken to him in the house and it's always been cos she's know that he's just a d*ckhead!
JOHN: (querulous) Are you still trying, are you.. are you still going?
CORIN: (hostile) You're just a d*ckhead! A d*ckhead! (John scoffs with disdain as she is stilllll going) A d*ckhead!
JOHN: (not looking at her as he opens his suitcase, counting down the minutes/seconds until she really implodes) For someone who claims to not like arguing, you're still.. are you still going?
CORIN: (I'm discerning that she might be mad at him and miiiiight think he's a d*ckhead) D*ckhead. D*ckhead. D*ckhead, d*ckhead, d*ckhead, d*ckhead!
John points out that she's 29 years old as she's behaving like a child; Ife inteferes with the enmity of the event insisting that she doesn't bring herself down.
JOHN: 29 years old..
CORIN: (she's got fire coming out of her bolt ons today) Yeah, d*ckhead! D*ckhead, d*ckhead..
JOHN: And you're still there. Just move on and just leave the room, just move on..
She disrespectfully jokes that he seriously got on the programme cos he's a d*ckhead, a little jumped up d*ckhead. He retorts that he could have got in because he had bolt ons 'what difference would it have made?' She slams that she wouldn't have flown all the way there from Australia for this show, mate and scornfully glares with venom in her eyes. John states the fact that Corin had tried harder than anyone else here.
CORIN: Oh aye, but I've only had to come an hour on the train not from the other end of the Earth.
John fails to see what her point is - her point is that he's a D*CKHEAD and she wanted to make it clear that she thinks he's a d*ckhead 'stay out of my way!' Well he thinks she's an idiot especially as she keeps coming back in the room when he's in it despite saying for HIM to stay out of her way.
CORIN: (seems at the point of physical violence) Yeah cos every time I go out you bitch and say something else, like the little b*tch you are!
JOHN: Just jog on, just jog on.
She puts on a satire of this, dripping with derision for him; he then shows his contempt by depreciating the way she prances her sh*t around.
JOHN: Just walk out.
She loves her sh*t and will prance it all day long, love! John's seen that 'I'm sure you do ' in future she requests that he doesn't bother looking if he doesn't like what he's seeing.
JOHN: (had about all the crazy from her he can take for one afternoon) Well there might not be a future so you don't have to worry. Take care now! (he lets out a relieved crack up as she finally huffs out) Sorry, boys.
Seeing how John's reputation for being the angry, argumentative one in there proceeded him - he did well to not raise his voice at Corin. Yes he made comments to provoke her but if I had 1/10th of his ability to keep as relatively composed during rows as he demonstrated here I wouldn't be thought of as a psycho wench so much!! On the whole here the kid was an angel in comparison to Corin who allowed her indignation to get the better of her by cussing him down. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten so out of hand if they had each toned down the sarcasm.
If she had spoken to me the same way, she'd have got splattered like a watermelon!! Considering how personal she wanted to get, he stayed rather lenient with her .. John didn't need to defend his life to her or reasons for coming over to do BB. She'd been long harbouring this resentment towards John so when the dam broke, it all came spilling out of her garbage mouth. I don't hate the pathetic, they generally have my sympathy but Corin doesn't even get that from me after this combustion!
I don't know which BB had to brave headquarters for her, but she takes to the diary room absolutely fuming to pronounce that she CAN'T STAND HIM! She cannot take it any longer and cannot f**king stand that jumped up, little d*ckhead; she is so angry she's shaking!
CORIN: (she's such a witch with a B) Ah, he is like a gnat flying round my head! He is just a little absolute kn*bhead! Like he's nothing him, but a gameplayer - I'm telling ya now. It might seem a little thing to you, him taking the mick out of my voice but I'm not 'aving it. I'm not having people taking the mick out of me. I've had it all, I'm grown up now, I'm not having him sitting there going 'I'm buzzing, I'm buzzin', are you lovin' it?' .. cos once you let someone walk all over you and they think that they can, then they do it. Believe me, I know and I'm not f**king having it, I put a stop to it straight away - like he is a d*ckhead. Absolute d*ck!
And she's sorry that she keeps saying it, but what can she call him then - 'a twig? A twig then I'll call him!' He's so annoying, the personality of him is an angry f**king, flying fish or summat (I'd say that is more fitting with her character).
5.49pm, 31 minutes later..
Yeah she might not have had her head stuck in a book, know about politics and sh*t like that and rarely watches the news but she's more of a people person and always has been. She thinks she can read people 'and he's about being f**king fake! He can call my t*ts as fake as he wants but that is one fake f**ker! And I'm sorry for swearing.. what a jumped up, little d*ckhead he is! And he really is one angry, angry man!'
John comes past and grins as he overhears how she's not filled with happy, happy, joy, joy. The high decibel of her shrieks means that he can listen against the door while she uses BB as her sounding board.
She's also not sorry to report that 'And yeah some people in here are opinionated in here and go on and on and on and on and on and on about it! His arguments aren't even opinions they're just going on and on and on!!' He LOL's to himself about really not being Cozza's favourite person then goes out to illuminate the others that they can hear what she has to say in the Diary room if they're interested as it's 'pretty loud.'
He does an uncanny impression of her impression of him going on and on and on and she just did that for about 10 minutes, sighs 'ah, what can you do?' Corin is still reeling about John blowing up, as she mocks 'I'm getting more airtime, look at how angry I am' she guffaws that as if anyone is going to be scared of him. She was shaking then out of pure madness but she's not intimidated as he's 'all mouth' and she knows now this is gonna split the house.
CORIN: (lays it all out on the line) And I swear to God if Caoimhe starts (grrrrs) I'm not f**king having it, he's a d*ck!
She's seen how much of a d*ck he's acted this week by not being himself and she knows she's probably shooting herself in the foot and that it's likely that he is coming back in.. though she doesn't give a sh*t as she'll just f**king tell him to stay out of her way. John and Steve sit back smirking on the sofas and eavesdrop as the psycho troll takes more stabs at him and BB scheme to start burrowing directly into the ground to make their getaway!
It's sh*t for her but even if Nathan does go she intends to carry on enjoying her time there as she gets on with other HM's. If John tries to talk to her she's only going to speak with disgusting profanity and call him d*ckhead, d*ckhead (x5000) as that is what she thinks he is! Dave, Josie and Caoimhe come to the couches for a chuckle as John notes that if they listen closely they can hear Corin from there! All ears are on her as she's going right off and John guesstimates that she's been in there about half an hour.
They are all taken aback and Caoimhe has her face to the glass exclaiming 'OMG, what the f**k is she doing in there? She's going at it!' When Corin feels like *this* and has something to say, she'll say it to the person - if John annoys her she'll say it to him and won't go out and sit with someone complaining that he's this, that and the other. Cos she's not scared to tell him to his face. Dave is now earwigging and catches as she yells like a woman possessed for John James to bring it on with her as she won't take his sh*t. 'God! Go back and lie in bed do you know what I mean? Cos that's all he bl**dy does all day!' and lastly expelling her exasperation with a demented roar of rage.
"She annoys me to no end. When it was said that her voice is the most annoying sound in the world by one of the housemates I totally agreed. She spends little time interacting with other people and she showed her true colors." (Shameless1ATl)
".. 31 minutes later; and Corin needs a slap more than ever... and I apologise to the people up north in advance, but her accent and her way of talking annoys the hell out me...." (sharki11)
"I feel so sorry for the poor bugger who was BB can you imagine having to listen to Corin's annoying accent for so long? I want her evicted just because of the accent it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Corin was not always the cherub she makes herself out to be and days like this proved it! Her babbling abilities were infinite but her charade of the happy-go-lucky, has her heart in the right place, perfect positivity - well and truly cracked.. and not very nicely either!! She was never going to be successful in playing a blinder, keeping NUCLEAR Corin concealed for the entire series (and it had already made appearances such as on - mattress gate)
If anybody in there was playing a game it was her NOT John - she was desperate to not allow her facade to rupture, giving away the 'real' her.. if you can even say that because she was about as FAKE as her bolt-ons!! The time before I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but from here on was the part where I saw through her manipulations and there was no coming back from it. She was fuelled by her own righteous rage that she couldn't even that she was an angry, angry, jumped up little d*ckhead of a woman
6.18pm, With what would be a conversation stopper for me, Nathan demonstrates to Mario that he could milk him with his hairy nipple; it's freakish but that's him!! Mars ewwws that this has been doing it for about 15 years and stuff comes out yet he still pokes and prods around to have a play with it. Corin knows she'll probably be up next week now but she seriously doesn't give a sh*t. If Nathan's not there, she's not arsed about being there and just can't deal with jumped up, little d*cks!
CORIN: (she's very 'nice' that way) I just can't stand people with f**king miserable faces any longer. And keep your opinions to yourself in future if it's about me. I don't give a sh*t. Never have and I never will. (comes to through the living room strutting) Thought I'd dress a bit sexy, parade about!
She joins in cauterwauling with Dave to 'living in America' Steve tells her she can do whatever she wants; she knows babe.
JOHN: (no warning needed that he'd be full of smart remarks) So long as you're 'lovin' it (!) That's fine. (rolls up his trouser legs)
Steve doesn't mind one bit if she wants to parade around sexy. In the kitchen, Corin gives the skinny to Ife that she really doesn't give a sh*t as if Nathan's going 'apart from yourself, there's no one to buzz and have a laugh with.' She can't put up with the negativity and him going on and on with the same sh*t, day in, day out; she's sick of f**king hearing it and of no one sticking up for themselves.
John smiles in the face of adversity on overhearing her objections, as a sledgehammer to the nose would be more than her voice; then groans as he lays back on the sofa 'ah Corin. I'm just here, you can tell me. Shall I go for one more?' (exhales and looks smug)
JOHN: (stands to pull his sweater over his shoulders, with a whisper) Sorry Stevo. (Steve doesn't think it will do him any favours) Sorry. (deliberately waltzes into the kitchen to fill a glass with water, the girls do not end their conversation. Corin increases her volume about not being able to stand people who drag her down) Are you getting angry now?
CORIN: (evil eyes him) Don't start your bullsh*t with me, John!
Ife pretends they weren't even talking about him; Corin incites him not to bother with her and she'll do likewise as she wants to enjoy her time there. 'I'm not a f**king angry person so..'
JOHN: (had a few close brushes with her unf**king angriness only earlier) Oh yeah (!) I heard that.. we could hear you from out here, in the Diary room ranting.
Good! As she was 'slagging you off royal' he motions with his hand what she was like as Corin is dissatisfied that he's a d*ckhead!! Ife thinks this house is making John paranoid, he has gone back to sit with Steve with his eyes tightly shut.
JOHN: (takes the mickey bliss) 'I'm not an angry person' Could have f**king fooled me! Nearly blasted down the Diary room door!
Steve chortles which breaks out a grin from above Johnny's chin too :D If she was sick of the same sh*t day in and out - couldn't she have spared a thought for those of us maddened by her BUZZIN' - WE WERE NOT LOVINNNNNNN' IT! Maybe John wouldn't have started his bullsh*t, if Corin hadn't thoughtfully and thunderously ripped him to shreds in the Diary room. If she really wasn't an angry person, nothing could have caused her to snap so irrationally! She simply did not want to expose this side of her in the house so that she'd fall out of favour with HM's and become unpopular with the public. Now they had to deal all day with sulky, pouty Corin as the feral hyena was out of control until she was done behaving like an animal! (massive jump in time)
10.13pm, all the HM's have been gathered at the sofas for this week's eviction. Steve wishes the guys good luck, as does Corin right before Davina talks to the house. Josie has her head down, dreading John's name to be read out but preparing herself for it to be at the same time, fanning her face. Chants of 'Get Nathan out' start to leak into the house but still John gets his jacket (but he CAN hack it) and stands to hear his fate. When NATHAN is called out of Davina's lips, John's eyeballs are going to bulge out of their sockets -he may have needed resuscitation from this shock. That will never stop being funny to me as Nathan just did not anticipate that outcome and 89% of you BEAUTIFUL, wonderful people with brilliant taste did the right thing with your vote. And neither were you bribed or given financial incentive :D I was loving you like a two dollar wh*re!
John embraces him, saying how sorry he is though Seahorse is alright and ready to be freed from the BB net and released back into the ocean. He skips away from Caoimhe who is disingenuous with her apology to him and jogs on up the stairs before stumbling over a step; Josie cackles up at him as he makes quite the hasty, indiscreet exit. As they all clap and wave him off, dazed John leans up to the glass - he appears to be in deep thought as he watches on as the man he felt was sure to stay leaves the Big Brother house and he remains. It does seem that he honestly was not in mental readiness for the breaks to go that way.
The HM's are positively giddy at the cheers they believe Nathan is met with as the doors open to kick him out. And OMG Corin is buzzin'! Dave is first to congratulate the good lad with a hug, swiftly followed by Stevie and then John's other boys Mario and Ben bundle him within an inch of his life!
JOHN: (hand to his mouth) I can't f**king believe that!
Josie looks on at John and she will not be wiping the smile off her face (up until Crabeyes gate) but the one Corin forces on with her fake 'well done' and pat on the back makes me want to kill her!! (not really as that's a bit much!) Still overcome with emotion, he tells her that he's sorry 'I know you loved him.'
Josie sits on the back of the sofa, turning round to make reparations with John as she's sorry but she wasn't expecting that and thought John would go. Ben and Dave knew he would, believing him to be a favourite; this is why Ben wasn't fussing round saying goodbye even though John gives him a hard time 'because I love you and I knew you weren't going anywhere.' Judas kisses him on the cheek with another double-crosser cuddle.
Corin cries that she's gutted 'welcome to the f**king sh*t house!' Ife's insistance that they are going to have a good time is to no avail; Mario comes into the bathroom to make sure she's okay. She's fine but just needs 5 minutes - in other words she would prefer it if she were not interrupted by a MOLE, he too is gutted at Nathan's departure but is pleased he was met with universal cheers when the doors opened and 'not one boo.'
Ife gees her up that this is her experience as well but Corin can't even be bothered if new HM's come in, she's just f**king gutted. Ifs reminds her that Nathan will be out having a beer and buzzin' - what really bothers Coz is that she's lost someone she really likes f**king for someone she really doesn't. 'It's just a sh*tter, isn't it?'
This just seems the complete opposite of a sh*tter to me! Did I mention 89%?????? And how I could not have prayed, dreamed or wished for a more marvellous result! To use a John-ism it 'couldn't have happened to a better bloke!' Must have been sh*thouse for Corin to find out that John is LOVED and that she had to stay in a 'sh*t' house with him. She just would not have it that what she did was so OBNOXIOUS but had convinced herself that she would be done of John that night. Oh nooo. Deluded, demonic damsel.
10.42pm, most of the HM's are in the living room. It's been 28 minutes since Nathan became the 4th HM to be evicted from the Big Brother house. Mario makes it his life mission to muscle in on John at every opportunity, as he takes another to get a tight grip on him in his arms. Dave felicitates John for surviving 'you're obviously loved out there - it's amazing! It's a weird feeling isn't it, when they keep you in?'
JOHN: (still shellshocked) Especially in a situation like that where it's 50/50. (clamps his palm to his head) You don't expect to be the one.
Ife goes to check on Josie Jose, laying beside the bath with the thumb in her mouth 'you were like me, loved them both.. well I think you like Nathan.'
JOSIE: (experiencing the faintest after taste of regret) Yeah I did.. but I said in the Diary room 'Nathan's been a bit miserable lately.' (Whiferoo echoes this perturbed) Yeah he's been a bit off towards me and I wish I hadn't said it now.
IFE: (fixing a wig on her bald scalp) He understands. Remember how much happens in one day here. He'll be fine.
Just as Dave starts to wonder why Sunshine didn't get to choose anyone for a treat; Bob Righter whirrs up to spit out the next card which Ife baggsies reading but bets it's gonna be something evil. As already blogged about on Live day 30 HL's she reads aloud the rhyme which elicits confused shrugs.
CORIN: (is there something sharp sticking into her head?) What does it mean though? Is NATHAN COMING BACK? Is that what it means - what that Nathan's coming back? Shut up.
Steve bl**dy told them that they'd get new HM's and they all rush to the windows, as the blinds rise and the dramatic overture plays and they OMG at the spaceship! As it lowers, their excitement builds to receive new people into their home but Corin is double NUTS still banging on about it being Nathan! John has his hand on the small of Josie's back, feeling lucky that he still gets to be there around her but she's too worried about her bad breath as the UFO lands in their garden, pervading the air with smoky fumes.
Caoimhe puts on an act of being petrified so she can cling to John's elbow but when he doesn't give her the attention she needs, she moves to Josie. The 3 space oddities escape the contraption that carried them here as their soon to be new roomies guess at their genders. The space people are welcomed to Earth by BB and instructed to remove their helmets.
The new HM's are maths student Andrew, air stewardess Rachel and travel agent Keeley. Their metallic mates are allowed entry inside the house, they jump for joy and run into the outstretched arms of their brand new buddies. The intruders are euphoric to be there and are warmly hugged and spun around, welcoming them to their BB planet world; their enthusiasm is appreciated by them.
Andrew introduces himself and is pleased to meet them but it's a bit awkward as he already knows their names. John takes a bit of a step back after greeting them, still stupefied to even be there; Mario is ecstatic when Andrew confirms that they are indeed their new housemates! John immediately takes the geeky ginger under his wing, ruffling his head.
Rachel aww's and throws her arms around Ife assuring her 'aw come here, you'll be alright, don't worry' after she expresses concern over what happened out there with Nathan. Corin mm's that she smells so clean! Andrew angles after a tour of the house and Josie is only too willing to oblige. First on her guided whistle-stop is the bathroom, Josie warns that it REALLY does smell in there, mind but Andrew is uneasy that he stinks himself after being in the same clothes all day. Ben and Caoimhe follow closely behind as he gets shown around the property.
JOSIE: (opens door to loo which isn't the great part of the house really but ..) And there is the toileeeeet! WOWWW!
Keeley thinks the house could do with a tidy up 'am I being a bit bossy already?' having not been there even 5 minutes virtually. Corin conveys to her that if they do it will be a mess straight after. Andrew rubs his hands together as he's finally in there and it's like a dream come true. Josie awwwww's that he's lovely; Caoimhe congratulates him for being there.
"I love Josie. I can't stand the new housemates, especially the blonde girl. I go through this every year though. New people come, I hate them.. they grow on me.. but I always love the original housemates the most lol." (Shameless1atl)
Their whole world inside the house was transformed in one instant .. some are buzzing their bolt ons off, others don't waste time in politeness when it comes to sussing each other out and the rest are not totally sold on these strangers who have invaded their home and want to make them go away! These transitions are odd for all involved as it unbalances and unsettles what they have grown used to.
11.04pm, it's been 22 minutes since new HM's Andrew, Keeley and Rachel touched down in the Big Brother house. Mario takes it upon himself to be the man of the manor and spokesmen on behalf of everyone, to welcome them to the house - to which they all politely applaud. He gets the 3 to tell the HM's about themselves in alphabetical order, ordering them to stand up.
Starting with Andrew, who Rachel declares to be the man - he doesn't know what there is to say really but starts off with his name, age (19) and that he's a student studying maths at Oxford university. 'I don't take myself very seriously.. I'm just in here to have a laugh and a good time..' Corin loves it (NATHAN WHO?) and Josie already has affection for Andy which is visible in the way she looks up at him.
He chucks himself headfirst into every task, knows it's going to be a challenge but hopes he can rise to it and learn some things about himself along the way. So there we go! He receives another round of applause and Josie chants 'ANDY, ANDY, ANDY!' before Bossy Boots takes the floor.
Keeley shares that she is Keeley (ha) and will be 31 in a few weeks, she hopes she can bring some energy to the house and 'maybe tidy up a tiny bit!!' She doesn't really know what to say, she just wants to get to know them all individually and can't wait 'just really, really excited.' H'obs Corin can't believe it and asks somebody if they are buzzin' - may as well have just recorded her same 5 phrases to spare her voice and just play at the touch of a button as she never said much else!
Rachel bubbles 'hiiiiiiiii' as she stands on the designated spot to fill them in that she's 29 and just come from a proper mid-life crisis and feels like she should start buying cats or get a career. So she came on Big Brother but wasn't expecting anything so was thinking 'expect the worst and look what you get!' Talking to them all is dead surreal. She works for a low budget airline which they can all probably guess, she's flown all over Europe and they wouldn't even believe it but she's not really seen any of it.
CORIN: (Does she look sad? Since she was gutted about Nath approx an hour ago but bounced back brilliantly) OH I'M BUZZIN'!
Rachel just hopes they all really like them as they've got nothing malicious and have just been picked out. 'We're not in here to cause anything. Just relax around us cos we just want ya.. yep, I'm gonna shut up now..' runs back to her seat after rambling on.
11.34pm, Keeley, Ben and Dave are in the living room. Ben explains how he works freelance for a number of newspapers as a Diarist which basically means he goes out in the evenings to parties in London and is told who is going to be at them.
KEELEY: (with an eye roll) Like a socialite? Are you like a London socialite?
Ben dismisses that he's not really; not overly impressed with the career path Ben has forged she turns to Dave 'what do you do?' He describes how he is a Christian minister with his own ministry of a couple of thousand people in the UK that connect with them. 'We put on conferences and different things which are really wild. I travel abroad a lot.' She cuts him off finding this highly irregular but realising she might be really rude as she can see Dave is passionate about what he does BUT 'how does that pay?'
They have different partners that support them and bring in ministries from other parts of the world and he sets up conferences then speaks in churches.
KEELEY: Is your intention to spread "the love"?
No, Dave would like to be extremely clear that he came in there to have the experience and he's having a really good time as it's been fun. Ben states how Dave is such a pleasure to be with and he's really lucky (John walks into the room and beams broadly as he listens in); Dave feels the same regarding Ben 'he's a good boy' which Keeley patronises is really nice. Those blokes are beastly besties frankly.
In the kitchen, Mario checks out the relationship status of their new roomies, with particular interest in Andrew who he learns is single. Saying that he's trying to get more single people than those in a relationship or married and takes Rachel through the originals who are available.
Keeley is now putting John under her interrogation lamp, grilling him on whether he likes English people.
JOHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.. cos both my parents are.. both my parents are English so um.. so that's how I got a British passport so technically I'm British, I guess. So yeah..
Curiosity satisfied, she issues the same question to Ife who has just sat herself down. She is so thrown off by the challenging tone from Keeley that it feels weird and she doesn't know how to reply; Dave responds for her that she looks after them and is amazing. John gets Ife to show off the new hair do to Keeley; so she reluctantly removes her hat elaborating that they lost the task and didn't get clippers thus resulting in her shaved head.
Ben believes she carries it off and Keeley compliments Ife's beautiful eyes.
JOHN: How good does it look?
Dave wants the attention back on him so brings up the task he and Ben did 'I don't know whether you watched it so..(takes off his baseball cap) he had to trim me.' She slanders Ben for having really long hair; princess thinks Ben needs a barbering too and tells him so. John sniggers at how brusque she is already being. They were not fooled by the dainty, pretty package she came in and were sniffing out her God complex straight away. Who did she think she was to swoop in and accuse them all of being fatally lazy? What a bad first impression to make to a group of people you'd have to live with for the next little while. The Baroness was a clean nut, control freak threatening to stamp her mark all over.. no wonder they feared the whole place and its 'harmony' could go belly up with her there cracking the whip.The ice she's on is thin.
12.09am, it's been 1 hour and 27 minutes. Ben is chatting with Andrew about his interests which he lists as: science and loves his films .. before he can reel off any more Ben finds it cool that they have film as a common ground. Ben really likes psychologically interesting films; Memento is one of Andrew's favourites (Ben's not seen it but asks if it is one of Hitchcock's, Andrew astonishes him that it is Christopher Nolan, this means nothing to him) and tells Ben he'd like it if he likes psychological ones. He has to inform Ben that it is not brand new and was released around 2000 but it's fantastic.
As Andrew is a science fiction fan he's also into the Terminator movies and Usual Suspects. Ben switches off 'oh you and Mario will get on great guns, he's into all that stuff!'
Some of the HM's are in the closet talking about Keeley. Caoimhe wants to know what she said to someone; Dave humours her that she'd told Ben his hair was too long and he needed to cut it.
JOHN: She goes 'you're gonna have to do something about that.'
CAOIMHE: (immediately not her biggest fan) F**king b*tch! 5 minutes in the house ..
Mario forewarns Ben that he's going to have to go back to chasing him as they'd found out that Andrew is straight. Ben would be very insulted if he wasn't 'I'm the better option anyway!' A cuddle club forms with new allies Dave and Caoimhe hugging, along with Ben and Mario - John just banters for Ben to get his hair sorted! Ben can tell he's not going to get on well with Keeley.
JOHN: (making his bed) I'll be on the Benny team, don't worry about that.
BEN: (they'll become each others eyes and ears with Keels) Oh cheers. Oh thanks, Johnny.
JOSIE: (calls over from the closet, in just a black bra on top) John James, don't be horrible.
JOHN: (he will manage his friendships as he sees prudent) Hey! No, if she f**king starts on him. She's the new (BLEEPED OUT) she cusses his hair, she's only been in here 2 seconds and telling him he needs a f**king hair cut. Only I can tell you, you need a f**king hair cut! (hugs him)
Quiffhead is just not comfortable with that and bitches that at least his is real and not a wig. She'd unabashedly asked Dave what he did and he told her then been nosy enough to query how that makes money, not even sorry that she had overstepped. John belly laughs and won't be running to Medusa for another overly personal character profile assessment anytime soon.
Ben had hoped BB would bring in someone he'd have something in common with because he does feel like a bit of a freak in there sometimes.
JOHN: Andy's the man! Don't worry about that.
Ben's claws come out again as he feeds back how he'd been sat next to lovely guy Andrew discussing interests and he's like 'robots and science fiction.. and I said "go and talk to Mario!" He's mean like a bad ass bajjjer badger with a namby pampy voice to mock Andrew saying he loves the Terminator films and Robocop.
JOHN: Did he say it like Robocop?
JOSIE: (always follows her own intuition) Oh I love him, I do love him.
Ben just really wishes he had someone to understand him; Josie tells him she does. Still don't know what Jose saw in that d-bag in the house, as much as he has me howling with hysterics even now.
BEN: You actually love me now.
JOSIE: (she's really super sure of this) I have always loved you, Ben. I love 'im!
What's interesting is Ben doesn't know if they've done this to wind them up but he really appreciates what they've got now. Dave and Josie jump him on the bed in a huggy way; Ben is relieved that they are never going to think he's a freak again.
JOHN: This is why the intruders struggle. Cos of this exact reason .. cos all of us come together and that's how it works. That's why..
Benjy ensures that he and Johnny are never going to have an argument again and they shake on it.
JOHN: (going to need each other there in their corners) Nah, nah, nah. Me and you are fine. Me and you are teamed up.
As they hug, Ben expresses how he's always loved him (you know except when he hasn't and slags him off as royally as Corin did to another HM - usually Dave) and that John knows what his faults are and the things that will irritate him. 'But I do love you and I always have from the start' this he seals with a kiss to the side of John's head.
BEN: (slams her for being a stupid evil sadist that he wants to kill) She's a b*tch from hell!
This is why you ought to be careful what you ask for as when it arrives, it's not quite what you hoped. They'd all wanted new HM's and they land up with an overbearing, baby Barbie doll, happy to tear apart their home. Had they needed to they could have taken her down, she was despotic but also tiny! It brought former frenemies closer together in a tighter bond and reinvigorated alliances - not even thinking about their past problems or disputes. (ad break)
1.05am, most of the HM's are in the nest. Mario has stopped being Ben's freakin' shadow as he's surveyed that Rachel is perfect for him as the type he likes are dark-haired and dark-skinned girls. Ben agrees she is sort of and is stunning; Josie regards Rach as beautiful and Mars mentions that she is single. Ben assures him it's not true that he'll be shoved to the side now but Mario jests that he won't be there to pick up the pieces.
JOSIE: (got her bummer face on) Don't worry, John James is looking at some other Sheila .. it's alright. (laughs and Mario cuddles her saying they'll stick together) I've still got you two. Have I still got you two, yeah? I've lost husband Govan, husband Nathan.. John James I've obviously lost now. I feel like a bit of clothing hanging out to dry. And all I've got left is Ben and you.. I might even have to take the Monk on as my new husband. And Steve, you'll always be me husband. You're not going anywhere, Steve.
BEN: (That's my boy, Bejaminge!) There's no worry about John with her, cos he can't stand her!
There was no reason for Josie alone as she was so loved in the house by her boys. And there was also NO chance John would stray from her side and take up with Rachel or Keeley.. not after spending 1 month constantly with her and as loyal as he was. He couldn't imagine being without Josie by this point in time and a moron could have seen that! She'd flirted her way into his heart, but her gnawing feelings of inadequacy were creeping in after seeing the new beautiful blood. As guys go, John was the good one and not a hot piece of brainless ass that would ditch her in favour of some skinnier blonde. JJJ were pre-destined.
Some of the HM's are in the bedroom. Rachel thanks helpful gent John as he wheels in her little case, she hadn't known he'd carried that in for her. Corin checks with Andrew if a certain bed is going to be his; he thinks so but is not sure where to store his bits and bobs. Rachel is too scared to unpack; Corin calls it sh*t but the two girls are quite lucky with that bed as they can put some stuff down the side. Storage is scarce with them all only getting 2 drawers each in the bedroom and there's not a lot of space in them.
Captain Ben anticipates an iceberg ahead 'they're going to cause real trouble, like real trouble.'
JOSIE: (laughing) But why, why?
BEN: (could smell the stench of her haughtiness from a mile away) She has an arrogant sense of self-importance that is not attractive. The first thing she said in there was like 'this place is a dump, it needs to be cleaned.' Well that may be true but you don't bl**dy say it when you've just arrived!
Caoimhe had felt like sticking it to the unholy terror, if she likes cleaning so much they have lots of plates she can f**king wash. Ben is certain Keeley will clash with him, John and Caoimhe in some way; Josie pitches in her apprehension that John might actually like her. Ben and Caoimhe snap her out of that knowing John doesn't and that they aren't as perfectly matched as they seem.
BEN: (NO YOUR EYES ARE NOT DECEIVING YOU. HE IS SAYING SOMETHING NICE ABOUT JOHN!) The best thing about John is that he's not at all superficial.
She had also called Ben a bit of a diva because he goes to bed really early and gets up late; he nicknames Keeley as Cruella who had bragged that she gets up really early. Josie can't believe he is calling her Cruella!
Their ears are still recovering from what they'd heard pass her super judgey lips. Ben had her cards marked as did John, Dave and Caoimhe but little did they know she'd be a thorn on their bum on an almost daily basis! I exaggerate. I loved Ben so much right then for showing Josie reassurance that John and Keeley would never be a thing.. even though he may have found it a little odd (and been envious) of how invested John was in Josie and likewise.
2.24am, some of the HM's are in the living room. Caoimhe cross-examines Andrew over whether or not he has a big family. Err not really but he's very close to the family he does have; sibling-wise he has one older brother, aged 27 ho was really excited about him coming on the programme. 'He's a really nice guy.'
JOSIE: (love, love, loves her some Andrew Edmond) I love him, I love.. I don't know what it is. I just love you.
Ben gathers that what is is, is that Andrew is very genuine; he thanks them modestly and Caoimhe adds that he's very sweet. He stammers nervously thanking them more with humility.
JOSIE: And you didn't tell us how messy the yard was!
Josie in particular took to Andrew from the off and he appeared to be truly self-effacing and unassuming about it. Even with his mathematical magnitude he could not have foreseen how warmly anyone there would have received him. The difference from first night teenager Andrew to final night adult is amazing and I do feel a large part of that can be attributed to Josie and how she boosted his confidence no end. And if anyone was jealous about a new bond developing between a new HM - it was John over Josie and Andrew!
Rachel and Keeley are in the bedroom. R can't believe they're there.. she really can't, Cruella knows. Rachel is made up that they all seem nice and dead close where they've seen them arguing. Keeley has picked up on 'a LOT of love!' she'd been literally sat with Steve on the sofa and turned to the left to see the Monk (they both keep forgetting Dave's name) and Ben gave him a kiss in the bathroom then wandered through (this freaks Rachel out!) then she looked to the right and some other loving was going on.
The only thing that Rachel's scared of about that is that they are all reaaaaally close; Keeley had her own 10 minute little thing of paranoia where she could see groups and wondered if they'd been saying 'she's a bit mouthy!' as she'd come in and told them the house is a bit messy. 'I don't wanna p*ss em off.' Too late! That wasn't all they were saying about you 101 Dalmatians keeper; they'd already felt in their bones that you thought the world began and ended with yourself. She'd not exactly gone the right way about not getting on their bad side, had she?
Rachel really likes Caoimhe as well whereas Keeley felt a bit cagey around her; Rach puts that down to what they've viewed of her outside.
KEELEY: (dubious) But is it though?
She is skeptical but Rachel feels it will be awkward as they have a preconception of her, but despite that compared to the warmth of everyone else Keeley didn't get that from Caoimhe.
3.23am, some of the HM's are in the garden. Ife is lamenting the bottom line is that they lost, when Keeley just comes over to see what's going on over there. Sitting atop a carousel horse she asks what their plan was; Ife runs her through the lengths they go to for a smoke - they collect all the ends and then the next day empty all the bacci from leftovers and then put it into a bowl to roll them up .. recycling them again and again and again 'until our lips burn basically.'
Mario and Andrew are in the bedroom. Mario shares his house wisdom that the weird thing about being there is once they've had a few days inside it will feel like they've been there forever and that this has been their life the whole time. 'The outside world becomes like a distant memory' which is why when they'd seen those 3 tonight 'we were like OMG!! There's actually other living people still around somewhere!!'
Keeley and Corin are actually really tired all of a sudden so Keels retires to the bedroom but Ife and Coz carry on to the bathroom. Corin says for Ife not to stress as they're gonna have a good time now. But to Ifs it had been as if Keeley were looking at them like they were scabs and she'd felt 'nah, nah, nah. Walk a day in our shoes!' She wouldn't want people on the outside to think they are little tramps. They were no more screwy than a usual batch of HM's.
CORIN: We know we're not tramps don't we, babe?
Ife resolves that they're just doing what they need to do to get by; it's survival of the fittest.
In the Diary room, John divulges to BB that he thinks he's still in shock and honestly can't believe it.
JOHN: (ghast flabbered) Like I've had to sorta hide my emotions because I don't wanna bring a downer on the house because we've got new HM's and it's all kicking off.. and they're awesome .. and the house it's like our first night again. It's like the Launch all over again .. but I'm still in a state of shock.. I can't believe I'm still here. But yeah overall I'm definitely happy to still be here and um.. yeah definitely happy there's no doubt about that. And the new HM's are awesome, like I love Andrew already - he's a really good bloke! And um I haven't.. and Rachel's really nice as well.
But he hasn't really spoken to Keeley that much yet.. he thinks that's her name! But in 5 minutes she'd came in and marked her territory so he's realised she's not scared and that she's probably one to be a bit cautious of actually. 'She's gonna be letting people know where it's at. She's only been in here 10 minutes, so there could be some definite fireworks there.' His nose for nuisances was right on the money, as that wound up little corkscrew did kindle more than her share of bonfires! There was not the remotest probability that they'd have ever shared a romantic encounter of any sort. He could see her pretty (but could Josie's) all he saw in her was impending conflicts and feuding.
BEN: (don't be snotty!) People like John can see the bad bits of me but they're too stupid to see the good side.
His good, funny, sense of humour side is seen by Corin but she doesn't take life too seriously which is why he probably comes to her for Corrie chats but turns to others for political ones. Ben would never make the insane decision to go to her for that knowing she'd say for him to shut up!
JOHN: (the misunderstanding is not so hilarious to him) Why? What did I do?
JOSIE: Flirting with Ben and Mario. It wasn't boisterous messing around, it was like flirting messing around.
CAOIMHE: (as though he's a freak of sideshow proportions) John James, are you gay?
JOHN: (under duress) Nah, seriously. (Keev amends the question 'are you bi-curious?') Nah. One hundred %. Swear to God. I don't believe in God but swear to him. (Josie wants him to swear on her life) Swear on your life but nah ..
JOSIE: Little bit? Little bit?
JOHN: Seriously not.
I can understand people mistaking John for gay at first but really he's just in touch with his metrosexuality and comfortable around the same gender and being tactile with them. Just because he's not a generic guy that goes around with his tongue out whenever a girl is wearing a fruity outfit, or slapping asses of every female around, or out night after night on the pull to buck birds and then never seeing them again like Gaz from Geordie Shore.. it doesn't make him any less of a heterosexual or a man. I don't want him to go around deliberately breaking hearts and not giving these women another thought.. he's better than that and I respect his ways so much more, even if the world considers them old-fashioned.
Ben is in the Diary room discussing tonight's eviction. If either were evicted, possibly more than any other eviction, it will effect the house profoundly. Should Nathan go it would be a very practical difference as they've lost someone who is very much the bed rock of the house but he's a bit grumpy and doesn't particularly get involved with people. In certain ways it would mean people could cook for themselves a bit more as he self-appointed himself as the chef 'and I don't think that would be a bad thing.'
BEN: (jealousy of his relationship with Josie rears its ugly head) If John goes, I think the politics and personality will differ quite a lot.. because if John goes.. as much as the rest of us love Josie, we're not going to replace that role particularly so.. I think that John going will devastate Josie but personally speaking, he causes so many rows that would be a positive.
As much as I often wanted to slap his polysyllabic mouth for his John bashing, at least he had ascertained how important John was to Josie and how heavyhearted she'd have been if he was to go. But John was not the bad seed of the BB house like Ben, the redundant little rodent tried to make him out to be. He and his quiff can go to hell! You've got to love the karma that came upon him a few short weeks later; the public picked up on how singularly obsessed he was with John.
4.07pm, Josie is singing some reggae-sounding song I don't recognise about feeling good, good, good as she applies her blusher. Whilst Mario stares into the bitter, surly kill joy's eyes having observed that something didn't look right; Ben had squeezed a spot near it. And is told in no uncertain terms that if he does so again, Mario will spank his heiney then leaves him because he needs to go for a wee.
STEVE: Will you be buzzin' though?
She will be BUZZIN' with new people but doesn't want to be having no one c*cky though it might happen. Josie doesn't want a 'complete b*tch' in there; Steve smirks that a week in there would sort them out and they'd soon be depressed.
JOSIE: And I don't want anyone who's gonna rule the roost. Cos I'm just gonna ignore 'em if that's the case.. if they're really nice, then they can be my mate.
Corin fully expects that someone like that will be brought in to stir up sh*t. Josie bets the (original) HM's would all stick together if a new monstrosity of a HM was brought in to do that; Steve would vote the f**kers out the next week. Josie changes her mind almost immediately as it would depend on how many fags they had on them!! :D 'Joooking, joking.'
(ad break)
JOHN: (drop the tude, dude) Oh come on Jose give it a f.. rest! You've got a horrible voice!
Josie shoots him down as she can do whatever she wants but soon has the thumb to suck. He's all sweaty and aggravated that she may as well be singing 'Old battery, new battery.'
Foghorn screeches back in the kind of voice that makes men's ears bleed that those 2 may hate the song she made up but she hates when John speaks about what he hates or says 'I'm getting angry now' or 'oh yeeeeeah!' (which actually is a catchphrase of Caoimhe's) Keevil wants to add fuel to the fire by parroting back 'I'm lovin' it, I'm lovin' it!' while cooling in the pool.
JOHN: (sweetie, that was a little passive aggressive) Don't you love it? Do you not.. (Corin repeating gettin' angry now over again) ahh do you not love that? (she doesn't) Are you not buzzin' when I say that? Are you not buzzin? (she mm's) Ah, well there you go! Something that Corin isn't lovin'!
The store room opens for John James and Nathan to collect their suitcases. Josie snickers to Caoimhe 'I hope they're putting another fittie in! Look at me, who do I think I am?' In the bedroom, John now has his case and Mario warns him that rage is building and violence is imminent, sensing that Corin is on the warpath.
JOHN: (makes fun of her with a parody) Oh my Goooood!
CORIN: (having what I would categorise as a hissy fit) Don't take the p*ss out of me, don't take the p*ss out of me because I will not take your sh*t, right! I will not take it, you jumped up, little sh*t! (John laughs in her face) I will not take it. So don't even think you can bring an argument to me. Don't. Cos I won't take it.
JOHN: (do you really wanna poke the mama bear?) Don't take the p*ss out of me, if you can't take it. Don't go around..
CORIN: (charges at him like a bull) When have I ever, ever took the p*ss out of you?
He prompts her that she'd just been ridiculing him outside over his usage of 'gettin' angry now!' She asserts that she'd done so after he took the p*ss out of her.
JOHN: When did I take the p*ss out of you?
She will not rest until every single camera is on her and hears her POV over how he'd been mimicking her old battery, new battery tune and 'buzzin!'
JOHN: (oh how she hallucinates) But you weren't singing it! You weren't singing it.. you weren't singing it, that was after. That was after, that was after!
JOHN: That was after! What's this.. (glowers as he detects something dark is happening here) oh what's this sh*t?
She looks over her shoulder to sneer that he's so angry, 'so funny innit?' Corin is furious right now when John (who probably wants to blow off his own head) taunts that it is; she is so purse lipped that she must have sucked 1000 lemons, lets him know that the joke will be on him.
JOHN: I'm laughing, are you? (she's a broken record as she echos again that the joke will be on him and leaves) How will it be on me? (she shouts back 'we'll see!' clearly believing that he will get kicked out that night) I'm fine. I'm fine, well that's great. As long as you're lovin' it and you're buzzin' that's fine!
This is one of the moments Corin gets a little hotheaded and homicidal for almost no reason at all. She returns to jeer that she is so glad she's hardly spoken to him in the house and it's always been cos she's know that he's just a d*ckhead!
JOHN: (querulous) Are you still trying, are you.. are you still going?
CORIN: (hostile) You're just a d*ckhead! A d*ckhead! (John scoffs with disdain as she is stilllll going) A d*ckhead!
JOHN: (not looking at her as he opens his suitcase, counting down the minutes/seconds until she really implodes) For someone who claims to not like arguing, you're still.. are you still going?
John points out that she's 29 years old as she's behaving like a child; Ife inteferes with the enmity of the event insisting that she doesn't bring herself down.
JOHN: 29 years old..
CORIN: (she's got fire coming out of her bolt ons today) Yeah, d*ckhead! D*ckhead, d*ckhead..
JOHN: And you're still there. Just move on and just leave the room, just move on..
She disrespectfully jokes that he seriously got on the programme cos he's a d*ckhead, a little jumped up d*ckhead. He retorts that he could have got in because he had bolt ons 'what difference would it have made?' She slams that she wouldn't have flown all the way there from Australia for this show, mate and scornfully glares with venom in her eyes. John states the fact that Corin had tried harder than anyone else here.
CORIN: Oh aye, but I've only had to come an hour on the train not from the other end of the Earth.
John fails to see what her point is - her point is that he's a D*CKHEAD and she wanted to make it clear that she thinks he's a d*ckhead 'stay out of my way!' Well he thinks she's an idiot especially as she keeps coming back in the room when he's in it despite saying for HIM to stay out of her way.
CORIN: (seems at the point of physical violence) Yeah cos every time I go out you bitch and say something else, like the little b*tch you are!
JOHN: Just jog on, just jog on.
JOHN: Just walk out.
She loves her sh*t and will prance it all day long, love! John's seen that 'I'm sure you do ' in future she requests that he doesn't bother looking if he doesn't like what he's seeing.
JOHN: (had about all the crazy from her he can take for one afternoon) Well there might not be a future so you don't have to worry. Take care now! (he lets out a relieved crack up as she finally huffs out) Sorry, boys.
Seeing how John's reputation for being the angry, argumentative one in there proceeded him - he did well to not raise his voice at Corin. Yes he made comments to provoke her but if I had 1/10th of his ability to keep as relatively composed during rows as he demonstrated here I wouldn't be thought of as a psycho wench so much!! On the whole here the kid was an angel in comparison to Corin who allowed her indignation to get the better of her by cussing him down. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten so out of hand if they had each toned down the sarcasm.
If she had spoken to me the same way, she'd have got splattered like a watermelon!! Considering how personal she wanted to get, he stayed rather lenient with her .. John didn't need to defend his life to her or reasons for coming over to do BB. She'd been long harbouring this resentment towards John so when the dam broke, it all came spilling out of her garbage mouth. I don't hate the pathetic, they generally have my sympathy but Corin doesn't even get that from me after this combustion!
CORIN: (she's such a witch with a B) Ah, he is like a gnat flying round my head! He is just a little absolute kn*bhead! Like he's nothing him, but a gameplayer - I'm telling ya now. It might seem a little thing to you, him taking the mick out of my voice but I'm not 'aving it. I'm not having people taking the mick out of me. I've had it all, I'm grown up now, I'm not having him sitting there going 'I'm buzzing, I'm buzzin', are you lovin' it?' .. cos once you let someone walk all over you and they think that they can, then they do it. Believe me, I know and I'm not f**king having it, I put a stop to it straight away - like he is a d*ckhead. Absolute d*ck!
And she's sorry that she keeps saying it, but what can she call him then - 'a twig? A twig then I'll call him!' He's so annoying, the personality of him is an angry f**king, flying fish or summat (I'd say that is more fitting with her character).
5.49pm, 31 minutes later..
Yeah she might not have had her head stuck in a book, know about politics and sh*t like that and rarely watches the news but she's more of a people person and always has been. She thinks she can read people 'and he's about being f**king fake! He can call my t*ts as fake as he wants but that is one fake f**ker! And I'm sorry for swearing.. what a jumped up, little d*ckhead he is! And he really is one angry, angry man!'
John comes past and grins as he overhears how she's not filled with happy, happy, joy, joy. The high decibel of her shrieks means that he can listen against the door while she uses BB as her sounding board.
He does an uncanny impression of her impression of him going on and on and on and she just did that for about 10 minutes, sighs 'ah, what can you do?' Corin is still reeling about John blowing up, as she mocks 'I'm getting more airtime, look at how angry I am' she guffaws that as if anyone is going to be scared of him. She was shaking then out of pure madness but she's not intimidated as he's 'all mouth' and she knows now this is gonna split the house.
CORIN: (lays it all out on the line) And I swear to God if Caoimhe starts (grrrrs) I'm not f**king having it, he's a d*ck!
She's seen how much of a d*ck he's acted this week by not being himself and she knows she's probably shooting herself in the foot and that it's likely that he is coming back in.. though she doesn't give a sh*t as she'll just f**king tell him to stay out of her way. John and Steve sit back smirking on the sofas and eavesdrop as the psycho troll takes more stabs at him and BB scheme to start burrowing directly into the ground to make their getaway!
It's sh*t for her but even if Nathan does go she intends to carry on enjoying her time there as she gets on with other HM's. If John tries to talk to her she's only going to speak with disgusting profanity and call him d*ckhead, d*ckhead (x5000) as that is what she thinks he is! Dave, Josie and Caoimhe come to the couches for a chuckle as John notes that if they listen closely they can hear Corin from there! All ears are on her as she's going right off and John guesstimates that she's been in there about half an hour.
They are all taken aback and Caoimhe has her face to the glass exclaiming 'OMG, what the f**k is she doing in there? She's going at it!' When Corin feels like *this* and has something to say, she'll say it to the person - if John annoys her she'll say it to him and won't go out and sit with someone complaining that he's this, that and the other. Cos she's not scared to tell him to his face. Dave is now earwigging and catches as she yells like a woman possessed for John James to bring it on with her as she won't take his sh*t. 'God! Go back and lie in bed do you know what I mean? Cos that's all he bl**dy does all day!' and lastly expelling her exasperation with a demented roar of rage.
".. 31 minutes later; and Corin needs a slap more than ever... and I apologise to the people up north in advance, but her accent and her way of talking annoys the hell out me...." (sharki11)
"I feel so sorry for the poor bugger who was BB can you imagine having to listen to Corin's annoying accent for so long? I want her evicted just because of the accent it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Corin was not always the cherub she makes herself out to be and days like this proved it! Her babbling abilities were infinite but her charade of the happy-go-lucky, has her heart in the right place, perfect positivity - well and truly cracked.. and not very nicely either!! She was never going to be successful in playing a blinder, keeping NUCLEAR Corin concealed for the entire series (and it had already made appearances such as on - mattress gate)
If anybody in there was playing a game it was her NOT John - she was desperate to not allow her facade to rupture, giving away the 'real' her.. if you can even say that because she was about as FAKE as her bolt-ons!! The time before I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but from here on was the part where I saw through her manipulations and there was no coming back from it. She was fuelled by her own righteous rage that she couldn't even that she was an angry, angry, jumped up little d*ckhead of a woman
CORIN: (she's very 'nice' that way) I just can't stand people with f**king miserable faces any longer. And keep your opinions to yourself in future if it's about me. I don't give a sh*t. Never have and I never will. (comes to through the living room strutting) Thought I'd dress a bit sexy, parade about!
She joins in cauterwauling with Dave to 'living in America' Steve tells her she can do whatever she wants; she knows babe.
JOHN: (no warning needed that he'd be full of smart remarks) So long as you're 'lovin' it (!) That's fine. (rolls up his trouser legs)
Steve doesn't mind one bit if she wants to parade around sexy. In the kitchen, Corin gives the skinny to Ife that she really doesn't give a sh*t as if Nathan's going 'apart from yourself, there's no one to buzz and have a laugh with.' She can't put up with the negativity and him going on and on with the same sh*t, day in, day out; she's sick of f**king hearing it and of no one sticking up for themselves.
John smiles in the face of adversity on overhearing her objections, as a sledgehammer to the nose would be more than her voice; then groans as he lays back on the sofa 'ah Corin. I'm just here, you can tell me. Shall I go for one more?' (exhales and looks smug)
CORIN: (evil eyes him) Don't start your bullsh*t with me, John!
Ife pretends they weren't even talking about him; Corin incites him not to bother with her and she'll do likewise as she wants to enjoy her time there. 'I'm not a f**king angry person so..'
JOHN: (had a few close brushes with her unf**king angriness only earlier) Oh yeah (!) I heard that.. we could hear you from out here, in the Diary room ranting.
Good! As she was 'slagging you off royal' he motions with his hand what she was like as Corin is dissatisfied that he's a d*ckhead!! Ife thinks this house is making John paranoid, he has gone back to sit with Steve with his eyes tightly shut.
JOHN: (takes the mickey bliss) 'I'm not an angry person' Could have f**king fooled me! Nearly blasted down the Diary room door!
Steve chortles which breaks out a grin from above Johnny's chin too :D If she was sick of the same sh*t day in and out - couldn't she have spared a thought for those of us maddened by her BUZZIN' - WE WERE NOT LOVINNNNNNN' IT! Maybe John wouldn't have started his bullsh*t, if Corin hadn't thoughtfully and thunderously ripped him to shreds in the Diary room. If she really wasn't an angry person, nothing could have caused her to snap so irrationally! She simply did not want to expose this side of her in the house so that she'd fall out of favour with HM's and become unpopular with the public. Now they had to deal all day with sulky, pouty Corin as the feral hyena was out of control until she was done behaving like an animal! (massive jump in time)
John embraces him, saying how sorry he is though Seahorse is alright and ready to be freed from the BB net and released back into the ocean. He skips away from Caoimhe who is disingenuous with her apology to him and jogs on up the stairs before stumbling over a step; Josie cackles up at him as he makes quite the hasty, indiscreet exit. As they all clap and wave him off, dazed John leans up to the glass - he appears to be in deep thought as he watches on as the man he felt was sure to stay leaves the Big Brother house and he remains. It does seem that he honestly was not in mental readiness for the breaks to go that way.
The HM's are positively giddy at the cheers they believe Nathan is met with as the doors open to kick him out. And OMG Corin is buzzin'! Dave is first to congratulate the good lad with a hug, swiftly followed by Stevie and then John's other boys Mario and Ben bundle him within an inch of his life!
JOHN: (hand to his mouth) I can't f**king believe that!
Josie looks on at John and she will not be wiping the smile off her face (up until Crabeyes gate) but the one Corin forces on with her fake 'well done' and pat on the back makes me want to kill her!! (not really as that's a bit much!) Still overcome with emotion, he tells her that he's sorry 'I know you loved him.'
Corin cries that she's gutted 'welcome to the f**king sh*t house!' Ife's insistance that they are going to have a good time is to no avail; Mario comes into the bathroom to make sure she's okay. She's fine but just needs 5 minutes - in other words she would prefer it if she were not interrupted by a MOLE, he too is gutted at Nathan's departure but is pleased he was met with universal cheers when the doors opened and 'not one boo.'
Ife gees her up that this is her experience as well but Corin can't even be bothered if new HM's come in, she's just f**king gutted. Ifs reminds her that Nathan will be out having a beer and buzzin' - what really bothers Coz is that she's lost someone she really likes f**king for someone she really doesn't. 'It's just a sh*tter, isn't it?'
This just seems the complete opposite of a sh*tter to me! Did I mention 89%?????? And how I could not have prayed, dreamed or wished for a more marvellous result! To use a John-ism it 'couldn't have happened to a better bloke!' Must have been sh*thouse for Corin to find out that John is LOVED and that she had to stay in a 'sh*t' house with him. She just would not have it that what she did was so OBNOXIOUS but had convinced herself that she would be done of John that night. Oh nooo. Deluded, demonic damsel.
JOHN: (still shellshocked) Especially in a situation like that where it's 50/50. (clamps his palm to his head) You don't expect to be the one.
Ife goes to check on Josie Jose, laying beside the bath with the thumb in her mouth 'you were like me, loved them both.. well I think you like Nathan.'
JOSIE: (experiencing the faintest after taste of regret) Yeah I did.. but I said in the Diary room 'Nathan's been a bit miserable lately.' (Whiferoo echoes this perturbed) Yeah he's been a bit off towards me and I wish I hadn't said it now.
IFE: (fixing a wig on her bald scalp) He understands. Remember how much happens in one day here. He'll be fine.
Just as Dave starts to wonder why Sunshine didn't get to choose anyone for a treat; Bob Righter whirrs up to spit out the next card which Ife baggsies reading but bets it's gonna be something evil. As already blogged about on Live day 30 HL's she reads aloud the rhyme which elicits confused shrugs.
CORIN: (is there something sharp sticking into her head?) What does it mean though? Is NATHAN COMING BACK? Is that what it means - what that Nathan's coming back? Shut up.
Caoimhe puts on an act of being petrified so she can cling to John's elbow but when he doesn't give her the attention she needs, she moves to Josie. The 3 space oddities escape the contraption that carried them here as their soon to be new roomies guess at their genders. The space people are welcomed to Earth by BB and instructed to remove their helmets.
The new HM's are maths student Andrew, air stewardess Rachel and travel agent Keeley. Their metallic mates are allowed entry inside the house, they jump for joy and run into the outstretched arms of their brand new buddies. The intruders are euphoric to be there and are warmly hugged and spun around, welcoming them to their BB planet world; their enthusiasm is appreciated by them.
Andrew introduces himself and is pleased to meet them but it's a bit awkward as he already knows their names. John takes a bit of a step back after greeting them, still stupefied to even be there; Mario is ecstatic when Andrew confirms that they are indeed their new housemates! John immediately takes the geeky ginger under his wing, ruffling his head.
JOSIE: (opens door to loo which isn't the great part of the house really but ..) And there is the toileeeeet! WOWWW!
Keeley thinks the house could do with a tidy up 'am I being a bit bossy already?' having not been there even 5 minutes virtually. Corin conveys to her that if they do it will be a mess straight after. Andrew rubs his hands together as he's finally in there and it's like a dream come true. Josie awwwww's that he's lovely; Caoimhe congratulates him for being there.
"I love Josie. I can't stand the new housemates, especially the blonde girl. I go through this every year though. New people come, I hate them.. they grow on me.. but I always love the original housemates the most lol." (Shameless1atl)
Their whole world inside the house was transformed in one instant .. some are buzzing their bolt ons off, others don't waste time in politeness when it comes to sussing each other out and the rest are not totally sold on these strangers who have invaded their home and want to make them go away! These transitions are odd for all involved as it unbalances and unsettles what they have grown used to.
Starting with Andrew, who Rachel declares to be the man - he doesn't know what there is to say really but starts off with his name, age (19) and that he's a student studying maths at Oxford university. 'I don't take myself very seriously.. I'm just in here to have a laugh and a good time..' Corin loves it (NATHAN WHO?) and Josie already has affection for Andy which is visible in the way she looks up at him.
He chucks himself headfirst into every task, knows it's going to be a challenge but hopes he can rise to it and learn some things about himself along the way. So there we go! He receives another round of applause and Josie chants 'ANDY, ANDY, ANDY!' before Bossy Boots takes the floor.
Keeley shares that she is Keeley (ha) and will be 31 in a few weeks, she hopes she can bring some energy to the house and 'maybe tidy up a tiny bit!!' She doesn't really know what to say, she just wants to get to know them all individually and can't wait 'just really, really excited.' H'obs Corin can't believe it and asks somebody if they are buzzin' - may as well have just recorded her same 5 phrases to spare her voice and just play at the touch of a button as she never said much else!
Rachel bubbles 'hiiiiiiiii' as she stands on the designated spot to fill them in that she's 29 and just come from a proper mid-life crisis and feels like she should start buying cats or get a career. So she came on Big Brother but wasn't expecting anything so was thinking 'expect the worst and look what you get!' Talking to them all is dead surreal. She works for a low budget airline which they can all probably guess, she's flown all over Europe and they wouldn't even believe it but she's not really seen any of it.
Rachel just hopes they all really like them as they've got nothing malicious and have just been picked out. 'We're not in here to cause anything. Just relax around us cos we just want ya.. yep, I'm gonna shut up now..' runs back to her seat after rambling on.
11.34pm, Keeley, Ben and Dave are in the living room. Ben explains how he works freelance for a number of newspapers as a Diarist which basically means he goes out in the evenings to parties in London and is told who is going to be at them.
KEELEY: (with an eye roll) Like a socialite? Are you like a London socialite?
Ben dismisses that he's not really; not overly impressed with the career path Ben has forged she turns to Dave 'what do you do?' He describes how he is a Christian minister with his own ministry of a couple of thousand people in the UK that connect with them. 'We put on conferences and different things which are really wild. I travel abroad a lot.' She cuts him off finding this highly irregular but realising she might be really rude as she can see Dave is passionate about what he does BUT 'how does that pay?'
They have different partners that support them and bring in ministries from other parts of the world and he sets up conferences then speaks in churches.
KEELEY: Is your intention to spread "the love"?
No, Dave would like to be extremely clear that he came in there to have the experience and he's having a really good time as it's been fun. Ben states how Dave is such a pleasure to be with and he's really lucky (John walks into the room and beams broadly as he listens in); Dave feels the same regarding Ben 'he's a good boy' which Keeley patronises is really nice. Those blokes are beastly besties frankly.
Keeley is now putting John under her interrogation lamp, grilling him on whether he likes English people.
JOHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.. cos both my parents are.. both my parents are English so um.. so that's how I got a British passport so technically I'm British, I guess. So yeah..
Curiosity satisfied, she issues the same question to Ife who has just sat herself down. She is so thrown off by the challenging tone from Keeley that it feels weird and she doesn't know how to reply; Dave responds for her that she looks after them and is amazing. John gets Ife to show off the new hair do to Keeley; so she reluctantly removes her hat elaborating that they lost the task and didn't get clippers thus resulting in her shaved head.
Ben believes she carries it off and Keeley compliments Ife's beautiful eyes.
JOHN: How good does it look?
Dave wants the attention back on him so brings up the task he and Ben did 'I don't know whether you watched it so..(takes off his baseball cap) he had to trim me.' She slanders Ben for having really long hair; princess thinks Ben needs a barbering too and tells him so. John sniggers at how brusque she is already being. They were not fooled by the dainty, pretty package she came in and were sniffing out her God complex straight away. Who did she think she was to swoop in and accuse them all of being fatally lazy? What a bad first impression to make to a group of people you'd have to live with for the next little while. The Baroness was a clean nut, control freak threatening to stamp her mark all over.. no wonder they feared the whole place and its 'harmony' could go belly up with her there cracking the whip.The ice she's on is thin.
As Andrew is a science fiction fan he's also into the Terminator movies and Usual Suspects. Ben switches off 'oh you and Mario will get on great guns, he's into all that stuff!'
Some of the HM's are in the closet talking about Keeley. Caoimhe wants to know what she said to someone; Dave humours her that she'd told Ben his hair was too long and he needed to cut it.
JOHN: She goes 'you're gonna have to do something about that.'
CAOIMHE: (immediately not her biggest fan) F**king b*tch! 5 minutes in the house ..
Mario forewarns Ben that he's going to have to go back to chasing him as they'd found out that Andrew is straight. Ben would be very insulted if he wasn't 'I'm the better option anyway!' A cuddle club forms with new allies Dave and Caoimhe hugging, along with Ben and Mario - John just banters for Ben to get his hair sorted! Ben can tell he's not going to get on well with Keeley.
JOHN: (making his bed) I'll be on the Benny team, don't worry about that.
BEN: (they'll become each others eyes and ears with Keels) Oh cheers. Oh thanks, Johnny.
JOHN: (he will manage his friendships as he sees prudent) Hey! No, if she f**king starts on him. She's the new (BLEEPED OUT) she cusses his hair, she's only been in here 2 seconds and telling him he needs a f**king hair cut. Only I can tell you, you need a f**king hair cut! (hugs him)
Quiffhead is just not comfortable with that and bitches that at least his is real and not a wig. She'd unabashedly asked Dave what he did and he told her then been nosy enough to query how that makes money, not even sorry that she had overstepped. John belly laughs and won't be running to Medusa for another overly personal character profile assessment anytime soon.
Ben had hoped BB would bring in someone he'd have something in common with because he does feel like a bit of a freak in there sometimes.
JOHN: Andy's the man! Don't worry about that.
Ben's claws come out again as he feeds back how he'd been sat next to lovely guy Andrew discussing interests and he's like 'robots and science fiction.. and I said "go and talk to Mario!" He's mean like a bad ass bajjjer badger with a namby pampy voice to mock Andrew saying he loves the Terminator films and Robocop.
JOHN: Did he say it like Robocop?
JOSIE: (always follows her own intuition) Oh I love him, I do love him.
Ben just really wishes he had someone to understand him; Josie tells him she does. Still don't know what Jose saw in that d-bag in the house, as much as he has me howling with hysterics even now.
BEN: You actually love me now.
What's interesting is Ben doesn't know if they've done this to wind them up but he really appreciates what they've got now. Dave and Josie jump him on the bed in a huggy way; Ben is relieved that they are never going to think he's a freak again.
JOHN: This is why the intruders struggle. Cos of this exact reason .. cos all of us come together and that's how it works. That's why..
Benjy ensures that he and Johnny are never going to have an argument again and they shake on it.
JOHN: (going to need each other there in their corners) Nah, nah, nah. Me and you are fine. Me and you are teamed up.
As they hug, Ben expresses how he's always loved him (you know except when he hasn't and slags him off as royally as Corin did to another HM - usually Dave) and that John knows what his faults are and the things that will irritate him. 'But I do love you and I always have from the start' this he seals with a kiss to the side of John's head.
BEN: (slams her for being a stupid evil sadist that he wants to kill) She's a b*tch from hell!
This is why you ought to be careful what you ask for as when it arrives, it's not quite what you hoped. They'd all wanted new HM's and they land up with an overbearing, baby Barbie doll, happy to tear apart their home. Had they needed to they could have taken her down, she was despotic but also tiny! It brought former frenemies closer together in a tighter bond and reinvigorated alliances - not even thinking about their past problems or disputes. (ad break)
JOSIE: (got her bummer face on) Don't worry, John James is looking at some other Sheila .. it's alright. (laughs and Mario cuddles her saying they'll stick together) I've still got you two. Have I still got you two, yeah? I've lost husband Govan, husband Nathan.. John James I've obviously lost now. I feel like a bit of clothing hanging out to dry. And all I've got left is Ben and you.. I might even have to take the Monk on as my new husband. And Steve, you'll always be me husband. You're not going anywhere, Steve.
BEN: (That's my boy, Bejaminge!) There's no worry about John with her, cos he can't stand her!
There was no reason for Josie alone as she was so loved in the house by her boys. And there was also NO chance John would stray from her side and take up with Rachel or Keeley.. not after spending 1 month constantly with her and as loyal as he was. He couldn't imagine being without Josie by this point in time and a moron could have seen that! She'd flirted her way into his heart, but her gnawing feelings of inadequacy were creeping in after seeing the new beautiful blood. As guys go, John was the good one and not a hot piece of brainless ass that would ditch her in favour of some skinnier blonde. JJJ were pre-destined.
Captain Ben anticipates an iceberg ahead 'they're going to cause real trouble, like real trouble.'
JOSIE: (laughing) But why, why?
BEN: (could smell the stench of her haughtiness from a mile away) She has an arrogant sense of self-importance that is not attractive. The first thing she said in there was like 'this place is a dump, it needs to be cleaned.' Well that may be true but you don't bl**dy say it when you've just arrived!
Caoimhe had felt like sticking it to the unholy terror, if she likes cleaning so much they have lots of plates she can f**king wash. Ben is certain Keeley will clash with him, John and Caoimhe in some way; Josie pitches in her apprehension that John might actually like her. Ben and Caoimhe snap her out of that knowing John doesn't and that they aren't as perfectly matched as they seem.
BEN: (NO YOUR EYES ARE NOT DECEIVING YOU. HE IS SAYING SOMETHING NICE ABOUT JOHN!) The best thing about John is that he's not at all superficial.
She had also called Ben a bit of a diva because he goes to bed really early and gets up late; he nicknames Keeley as Cruella who had bragged that she gets up really early. Josie can't believe he is calling her Cruella!
Their ears are still recovering from what they'd heard pass her super judgey lips. Ben had her cards marked as did John, Dave and Caoimhe but little did they know she'd be a thorn on their bum on an almost daily basis! I exaggerate. I loved Ben so much right then for showing Josie reassurance that John and Keeley would never be a thing.. even though he may have found it a little odd (and been envious) of how invested John was in Josie and likewise.
JOSIE: (love, love, loves her some Andrew Edmond) I love him, I love.. I don't know what it is. I just love you.
Ben gathers that what is is, is that Andrew is very genuine; he thanks them modestly and Caoimhe adds that he's very sweet. He stammers nervously thanking them more with humility.
JOSIE: And you didn't tell us how messy the yard was!
Josie in particular took to Andrew from the off and he appeared to be truly self-effacing and unassuming about it. Even with his mathematical magnitude he could not have foreseen how warmly anyone there would have received him. The difference from first night teenager Andrew to final night adult is amazing and I do feel a large part of that can be attributed to Josie and how she boosted his confidence no end. And if anyone was jealous about a new bond developing between a new HM - it was John over Josie and Andrew!
The only thing that Rachel's scared of about that is that they are all reaaaaally close; Keeley had her own 10 minute little thing of paranoia where she could see groups and wondered if they'd been saying 'she's a bit mouthy!' as she'd come in and told them the house is a bit messy. 'I don't wanna p*ss em off.' Too late! That wasn't all they were saying about you 101 Dalmatians keeper; they'd already felt in their bones that you thought the world began and ended with yourself. She'd not exactly gone the right way about not getting on their bad side, had she?
Rachel really likes Caoimhe as well whereas Keeley felt a bit cagey around her; Rach puts that down to what they've viewed of her outside.
KEELEY: (dubious) But is it though?
She is skeptical but Rachel feels it will be awkward as they have a preconception of her, but despite that compared to the warmth of everyone else Keeley didn't get that from Caoimhe.
3.23am, some of the HM's are in the garden. Ife is lamenting the bottom line is that they lost, when Keeley just comes over to see what's going on over there. Sitting atop a carousel horse she asks what their plan was; Ife runs her through the lengths they go to for a smoke - they collect all the ends and then the next day empty all the bacci from leftovers and then put it into a bowl to roll them up .. recycling them again and again and again 'until our lips burn basically.'
Keeley and Corin are actually really tired all of a sudden so Keels retires to the bedroom but Ife and Coz carry on to the bathroom. Corin says for Ife not to stress as they're gonna have a good time now. But to Ifs it had been as if Keeley were looking at them like they were scabs and she'd felt 'nah, nah, nah. Walk a day in our shoes!' She wouldn't want people on the outside to think they are little tramps. They were no more screwy than a usual batch of HM's.
CORIN: We know we're not tramps don't we, babe?
Ife resolves that they're just doing what they need to do to get by; it's survival of the fittest.
In the Diary room, John divulges to BB that he thinks he's still in shock and honestly can't believe it.
JOHN: (ghast flabbered) Like I've had to sorta hide my emotions because I don't wanna bring a downer on the house because we've got new HM's and it's all kicking off.. and they're awesome .. and the house it's like our first night again. It's like the Launch all over again .. but I'm still in a state of shock.. I can't believe I'm still here. But yeah overall I'm definitely happy to still be here and um.. yeah definitely happy there's no doubt about that. And the new HM's are awesome, like I love Andrew already - he's a really good bloke! And um I haven't.. and Rachel's really nice as well.
But he hasn't really spoken to Keeley that much yet.. he thinks that's her name! But in 5 minutes she'd came in and marked her territory so he's realised she's not scared and that she's probably one to be a bit cautious of actually. 'She's gonna be letting people know where it's at. She's only been in here 10 minutes, so there could be some definite fireworks there.' His nose for nuisances was right on the money, as that wound up little corkscrew did kindle more than her share of bonfires! There was not the remotest probability that they'd have ever shared a romantic encounter of any sort. He could see her pretty (but could Josie's) all he saw in her was impending conflicts and feuding.
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