I am absolutely fuming, I was just about to post this blog and a STOP SCRIPT error came up on screen and everything vanished :( I googled and googled and tried desperately to undo whatever Blogger did to make my draft delete but it was all in vain :( So now much to my despair, I have to re-write it all and I know it is just not going to be as detailed or witty as the original was, so please accept my sincerest apologies for that.
11.20pm, "Ife confirms that John's actions towards Sunshine would have been condoned, because everything would have been shown in chronological order. John wonders if he might have gone tonight if he'd been up for eviction. John just called Caoimhe, Chicken Kiev!"
11.39pm,
“HMs
wondering how John can afford to eat 4 take aways per day but he just
yeah's when they ask if he's unemployed. He's good a getting out of
questions he doesn't want to answer.”
11.56pm,"Mario and Josie share a bowl of porridge and he tells her that he had an intense crush on Ben and now it's fizzled out. Ife jokes that Josie has taken her man!"
12.05am,
“John, Ben and Ife are moaning about receiving alcohol but not food
and going to bed. Josie shrieks with excitement!"
E4 LIVE FEED STARTS -
It kicks off with Ife playing the mediator in the Ben and Mario conflict, she thinks they should just talk through it but agrees that today wasn't the right time for Mario to say what he had to Ben. She wants Ben to walk with her so she can get some more wine as she doesn't like lager.
John can be heard speaking with Dave in the background about Sunshine, he thinks 'she was just being Sunshine!' It's more than this for Ben, he thinks Mario's obsession with BB is a little weird but isn't judging him on that.
BEN: Who cares? I'm obsessed with Shirley Bassey. I'm obsessed with Lloyd George. If you're obsessed with something - you're obsessed!
Yet he is sure that Mario is judging Ben, believing he's wangled his way onto the show in order to springboard some career! If anything, he thinks it could harm any chances and Ife thinks he'd have to prove himself more.
In the kitchen, Caoimhe, Shabby and Josie raise their glasses. Caoimhe urges Shabby to forget about what's going on outside, to leave it for now and they'll deal with it when it comes.
JOSIE: (how she got onto this subject would be baffling if it weren't for the booze!) Oh my God, tell you what, my opinion of John James has totally changed today! (Caoimhe questions why?) He is sooo nice!
Shabby is amused that every day Josie has a different opinion of John 'so what's happened?' Josie answers that he's just been a really nice guy which Shabby concurs that John is. Jose had been at the end of her wick to the point where she didn't want John to be there anymore.
Caoimhe praises John for being the first one to give her a big, big squeeze after she was saved, followed by Josie. Shabby doesn't think Josie has hugged her yet, Josie had come to hug her but Shabs left her hanging. She re-enacts how she had approached her with outstretched arms and Shabby had just turned away spurning her.
The booze is already beginning to hit Caoimhe's head and she f**king loves it! She wonders who else out there drinks white wine. Shabby proposes that if none of the others are drinking and just going to bed, that they should drink all the booze! Justifying that if they'd wanted some they'd come in for it. Through a mouthful, Josie comments that 'Sunshine was a white wine person, wasn't she?'
Caoimhe is eager and willing to accept Sunshine's glass in her honour. The rice they are eating has given Shabby near burns in her mouth from the salt. Mario comes in to ask how the rice party is.
JOSIE: (in festive spirits from all the spirits she's been swigging) It's f**king lush!! I'm not being funny, that's the best thing I've ever tasted!
Shabby hadn't liked it at first but it got better. Josie acclaims it as being better than one of Nathan's roast dinners; Mario hushes her so Seahorse won't hear! He doesn't think any of the rest are having wine so permits them to 'guzzle it!' They don't need telling twice. (SC) Josie may be singing in her intoxicated state and is then YOWWWWW-ing boozily.
JOSIE: (Loud and lairy) Cider? Me? All the way from Bristol - don't think so! Eyyyyyyyy!!
Shabby and Caoimhe consider that a victory fart is deserved which starts off some boisterous belching from Shabs and Jose. And at the dinner table too! Really ladies where are your manners? :P Do you kiss your mothers with those mouths?
Caoimhe really likes being together as 3 girls as it reminds her of getting ready to go out while drinking.
JOSIE: (Looks at Caoimhe like she's some kind of zoo animal) Oh yeah.. lush!
Caoimhe calls her a f**king b*tch! She and Shabs plan to smoke their f**king brains out for the rest of the week, with the 50 grams of tobacco they have each. Josie only needs about half that, so Shabby propositions that she keeps 25 grams and puts the rest into the kitty. What she'd rather do is get some f**king hair dye!! Caoimhe asks if it is even sold on the shopping list.
JOSIE: (The booze is squirting so much goofy juice into her brain, she doesn't know which way is up) I never knew that I was a dark.. head!! (Caoimhe repeats her question) My Dad was blonde!
Shabby has to call it out a little louder and even then it bypasses Josie's brain.. her response comes but it is delayed due to her inebriation '..Yeah they do!!' Shabby is in stitches! This is what Caoimhe is getting at, that nobody listens to her or gives a f**k. Shabby backs this up that she's the only one who listens to her.
JOSIE: That's cos you don't say nothing! (Shabby enforces that she does) Only
when she's with you! And when you're not with Shabby you're like
(puts
on a leprechaun voice) 'where's
Shabby? Where's Shabby?' You've only
just started talking to me. But I still liked you. Thought you were
alright! (giggles)
Caoimhe is talking about a group situation as this happens to her in real life as well. Josie doesn't understand but we'll put that down to too much white wine! When Caoimhe says something, she tends to be ignored - it's like her voice is too low.
JOSIE: (0blivious) When did you say anything? (Caoimhe chuckles)
Have a quick flash to the bedroom, Ben is still monopolising Whiffy. Shabby is of the opinion that she is the only one that resonates with Caoimhe.
JOSIE: Are you sure you say things?
Caoimhe mm's and then she feels like she's not gonna bother; Shabby defends that sometimes Caoimhe repeats a point really really loudly and everyone still f**king ignores her. Josie wants to know when 'when have you said these things?' That's the thing, nobody realises but she'd said loads on the couch earlier.
JOSIE: (unintentionally hilarious) I heard you say 'ooooh you come to the Diary room sexy rrrrr!' I thought that was really funny when I heard that. I laughed. (Shabby face palms as she laughs) Did you hear my laughs or not?
Caoimhe had but doesn't care, thinks 'f**k ya' and has got to the point where she doesn't even want to make an effort with these people, knowing they have nothing to say to her! 'Except for you and Josie and people like that! Cos I can't be arsed!' It's not exactly high on her list of things to obsess over.
JOSIE: (she's not insane, she just sounds it) Um.. no.. they're all alright, really. But the thing is, you don't engage on a one to one chat with anyone.
She insists that she does engage with Ben and has great chats with Mario and talks to Nathan.
JOSIE: (rootin' tootin' spangled) When? Maybe it's cos you're so tiny I don't see you!
She sees that Ife has spread her wings but hasn't noticed Caoimhe talking to anyone on a one to one basis. Ife comes in for some drink so Josie offers up her white wine but Ife settles for some cider in the fridge. Josie licks her lips at the likelihood of red wine!! She uses her hand as a racket and smacks down a bottle top onto the floor.
JOSIE: (Impressed with her own skills) Bit of a tennis player, our Jose!
In the bedroom, John is discussing with Dave and Ben that the number 1 thing he wouldn't want to watch (as a viewer) would be someone he believed to be fake.
JOHN: And Sunshine could have easily come across as a very, very, VERY fake person.
Ben cuts in that he can't agree with John on that, but John is not saying Sunshine was fake just that she could have come over that way. Whatever Benny's problems with Rain cloud were in the first week or so, he never ever thought of her as fake. 'She didn't even look fake!' John wouldn't be surprised if that was how Sunshine came over.
JOHN: Because one minute you'd be having a one on one talking about her life.. and then the next minute, you'd see her prancing around in front of a mirror, that no one was paying attention to, wearing all sorts of sparkly sh*t and a wig!
He feels that it depends on how BB portrayed her, but with the footage they have it would have been easy to have 'portrayed her as this Lady Gaga.. slash Sunshine wannabe!' John muses that she may have struggled right from the get go, calling herself Sunshine for a start. 'That's hard to do, Benny! Come in here when your name's not really Sunshine' as it hadn't been changed, she'd just nicknamed herself that.
JOHN: And she prances around and says (puts on a camp voice) 'Hey my name's Sunshine!!' Like that sh*t annoys people. Cos it was annoying me.
As weeks went on she started referring to herself in the 3rd person, which caused John to wonder how far she was willing to take this.
Ife is 'weaving her magic' by relaying the conversation she'd had with Ben to Mario. Ben had said to her, they were in the snug talking about new HM's but she can't really remember as she's had a bit to drink. And that Mario had got annoyed when Ben remarked he'd never work in America, if he brought a gay HM in, then stormed off.
Mario agrees this is right in a round about way. Ife implores that Mario knows she's open to listening to everybody. Ben really likes him as a friend but feels Mario's started to think they're not as similar as he'd thought they were.
MARIO: (expressionless) That's very true.
Whiffster tells Mario that just because he's friends with Ben they don't need to like all the same things. According to Mars, she's lost the whole thread of the argument over why they fell out. Ben trying to springboard his career annoyed Mario slightly, as this last BB wasn't supposed to be about people trying to become famous off the back of it. Even the producers had said this. (Scene skip)
IFE: Excuse me, I've been on TV!
However, Mario's point is that she'd not hosted her own show like Ben has previously. (AD BREAK?)
Ben informs John that something is what his relationship with Mario would have turned into, if he didn't put the breaks on. For arguments sake, when John and Davo were doing the chicken task - Sunshine just started doing laps. John finds that 'sh*t really, really, really out of the ordinary!' And I'm tipping no part of his face said to Sunshine he thought this was super cute! (SC)
John doesn't care what anyone says 'that was pure, outright attention-seeking!' As Sunshine had known they were having a conversation, Shabs and Caoimhe were talking with them and Sunshine wanted a bit of attention but wasn't getting it.
JOHN: So therefore she decided to do laps! She could have done laps at any time, but she chose that particular moment, at that particular time. Because she wanted attention.
John told her straight to her face that he thinks she's an attention seeker. Ben isn't saying for one moment that she isn't, John doesn't find anything wrong with that at all. Ben's saying the public would have found that amusing.
JOHN: I wouldn't have, as a viewer. But each to their own!
Dave determines that Sunshine had a great personality in lots of ways (John agrees she did) but there were some areas where she was in error 'she admitted the exaggeration of what went on the other night.' John decides that overall, she was definitely a good person. Ben describes that Sunshine brought colour to the house.
John is resolute that a lot of that goes down to attention-seeking; Ben says that John is to a level which John disagrees with. He can happily sit in the bedroom on his own; Ben admits he probably used the wrong word.
JOHN: I don't think I'm an attention seeker in the slightest!
Josie and Caoimhe are squatting by the fridge, raiding for goodies. Jose couldn't walk off in a strop if someone was talking to her - as Shabby had. Caoimhe is still more concerned with her existential crisis and not wanting Josie to think she is shy.
JOSIE: (jokingly gets to the heart of the matter)Alright then, you're a b*tch!(laughs)
At times in there Caoimhe just doesn't know what to say and Nathan confuses her. She hates all this sh*t 'darlin' darlin' and just doesn't like it. This is the part shown on the HL's where Josie owns up to feeling uncomfortable with the attention she's getting, especially from Nathan. (So I won't rehash my previous post) Girls can smell Nathan's Neanderthal womanising ways a mile away!
'Even under the influence of el vino, Quaver is still a charmless dullard!' (Janet St Walker WHATM) Hearing Monobrow man in the living room, Josie changes the subject for them to get the rosemary on the go and punctuates it with a mighty eruption of throat gas (a burp to you or I!) Caoimhe can see exactly why Josie would feel uncomfortable, with one rubbing her back and the other touching her foot.
Caoimhe rubs at Josie's side to demonstrate how Nathan is pawing at her all the time, when he's sitting behind her.
JOSIE: (honest and vulnerable) That's the reason I don't mind hanging around John James, cos he's not like that. And I know he likes me as a mate. I know he doesn't like .. look at me like that.
CAOIMHE:(Rat-arsed) See I kinda look at someone like John James as assexual.. cos he doesn't.. I've never seen him flirt.
JOSIE: (Quick to correct) Oh he does flirt. (Caoimhe asks if he flirts with Josie) Mm! (Kiev wants to know what he'd do) I said 'when we get some new HM's, mind I don't want you dumping me for some other Sheila!' (they chuckle) And he went 'I would never dump you Jose, ever!' :( But then he goes (mimes John playfighting) gives me a knuckle sandwich, that's not really flirting is it?
Caoimhe supposes that's his way but she's never witnessed it. Steve makes his entrance calling 'alright you crackers!' Josie laughs that she'd thought he was going to say 'alright, you fatties!'
Quaver reels off rude things the war hero had been party to: how Steve tonight saw her washing her vagina, saw her tits and slapped her bum. He describes this as nice and fleshy! #TMI
JOSIE: So is your vagina designer or is it..? (distracted by Corin coming in wanting to share some lager)
So she doesn't have to hear Caoimhe confessing that her lady garden is very hairy! I hope this frightful footnote hasn't got any of your aprons in a bunch. SHE SAID IT, NOT I! Josie admits she's been a right greedy b*tch when it comes to the alcohol tonight. Corin realises that it is the last one, Steve comments that BB will need to send a lot more in if they want to get him drunk. Jose knows exactly what he means.
JOSIE: Steve, I could drink about a bottle and a half of a wine and I wouldn't.. well, I 'd be a little bit lippy but I wouldn't be drunk. (Caoimhe too) Oh, I'm a lippy mare when I've had a few!
Corin kindly tries to give the can back to the girls but they've already had cider (AND wine!!) Steve teases 'oh, having a party on your own, are ya?' Josie dodges this and says to Steve that Caoimhe's trying to tell her she's not shy. Steve doesn't think she is, not for a minute. Josie tops up her drink after badgering from Corin but then urges her to take the remainder, as the others don't drink that often.
Cozza invites them out for a rosemary, but Josie remembers she's been told off once for that already.
JOSIE: Shall we get back on the bananas?
Ife chuckles in the bathroom, as she owns up that she'd said to Ben, Mario's comment was uncalled for. Tread CAREFULLY Whiffyyyy this could be the last conversation you ever have with Mr Moley Mugan! He alleges that it had only upset him because he really likes Ben otherwise he wouldn't have given a sh*t!
The dispenser of advice uses her same stock standard recycled responses, that she thinks they should talk to each other tomorrow, to sort it out. The first time Ben made the comment he let it go but the second utterance had felt like a knife in Mario's back. Ife wants to bring something up with her now close friend, as she's been completely honest with him from the beginning.
There's just one thing she can't get her head around, how Mario can be anywhere near Dave after he'd made the comment about gay marriage being immoral. Mario sighs, that when he's friends with somebody he'll accept them for their faults.
IFE: (In house counsellor mode) Even when they're saying that you don't deserve equality?
It did p*ss him off which is why he'd left the room but it's only one person's opinion. If she was gay and someone had said that to her, she would NOT be giving them the time of day.. though understand that's difficult in this house. So she can't understand why Mario can still be his friend; but Mario accepts that Dave has a lot of religious looney tunes going on.
If Whiffy thinks about her friends who are gay, this would have P*SSED THEM OFF!! Mario didn't want to explode and had found that a lot in the house, that if something pees him off, he suppresses it. Ife does as well, she was really p*ssed off today when the people who like lager and cider drink the wine, as she only likes the wine. 'Why have everything?'
Mario concurs that it's a bit unfair. The camera men show their sense of humour by flipping to Caoimhe and Shabby feeling and looking smug and sozzled, with wine glasses in hand, sniggering 'f**k it!' They can't believe they are still there, Caoimhe thought she'd be in her hotel right now 'literally f**ing' then laughs that she's disgusting.
Satirically, Shabby and her super good friend Caoimhe Guilfoyle think there's quite a lot of alcohol they've left! Gargoyle wouldn't have thought Josie saw her like that and supposes she may be like 'that one who won but didn't speak!' (Reference to Rachel Rice winner of BB9)
Mario defends Dave as his friend because he always looks for the good in people. If he can find some basic goodness then he will overlook the stupid sh*t but Dave has given him a lot of food for thought 'not that I'm ever gonna become a religious convert or anything!' Some of Dave's viewpoints have given him something to mull over. Once he's found that basic core of goodness he likes he overlooks a lot, same with Ben but it had really got to him today.
The point that Ife has stumbled upon is that it was NONE of her business (but she made it so) as she was just hearing hear'say. Mario gives this as the reason for Dave and Josie not being friends.
IFE: One thing you get with me, is I will not p*ss about the bush!
So she found the perfect time, to take Dave to task on what he'd meant by 'immoral!' Josie comes through so Mario again mentions Dave's standing on gay weddings, is why she's not friends with Dave.
Sheeva felt sorry for Sunshine being the one to get the boot. Caoimhe even really liked her after their task together 'I loved the one she licked her little lollies in such a delight!' Her heart went out to her as Sunshine's not a bad person; Shabby tried to tell her so. Caoimhe who could get drunk on a wine gum, sneers that Sunshine tried too hard to be cool 'It's never gonna happen!'
Shabby doesn't think that's the case at all but Caoimhe doesn't know how to explain Sunshine's acting. 'All that black lipstick sh*t, I mean is she looking for attention?' Shabby assesses that Sparkles isn't trying to be cool but eccentric! Though Caoimhe is correct on this count - the lipstick made Sunshine's lips so large, it put them on the map!!
The tedious twosome feel that if BB showed her John James thing as it was then of course Sunshine was going to get evicted. This makes Shabby feel better about the show because she now believes, they did show that as it was but then wonders why. Caoimhe contends that it was totally blown out of proportion and they couldn't lie to the whole f**king nation.
Ife is dissecting how Dave had rationalised with her, that he has a gay sister but wouldn't want to marry a couple who is gay but would attend a gay wedding. Dave understands that people are different and isn't against it, but he personally wouldn't want to marry them in his capacity as a minister. That response is good and fair enough for Ife!
John joins them and greets Mario and Ife with a 'hello boys!' Ife has to add 'and girl!' which he had realised as the words were already leaving his lips. The next day, she was speaking to Josie about it who had rubbished Dave's words 'nah, nah, nah he was saying it was immoral!' So she's left not knowing what to think, as she looked Dave in the eyes, was direct and listened, understood and was happy with what Dave had to say. Then the next minute she finds out it might b a lie.
IFE: This house makes you well paranoid! You just have to take everything, everyone says as the truth until it's proven guilty.
JOHN: (unawares that Josie is in the toilet and can hear him through the wall) Don't um.. don't get Josie started on the paranoia! (Mario butts in 'or John!') And don't say that word, Jose will be onto ya!
JOSIE: (Shouts back) Shut up!! (they all giggle, John must open the door and peek in) Go away!
JOHN: (just as infatuated with her then as he was at the end) Ah f**kin' hell! Are you bleeding in there or what?
JOSIE: (Yells) Stoooop it!
Mario walks Ife through his thought process that a lot of it is looney tunes with Dave, so he just chalks it up to that. John gives Ife a quick rub on her shaven head. She'd been wanting to talk to him for things about this as it was the only thing she was unsure about with Mario.
She knows that her gay friends would be kicking off, though they are in a different environment so they have to be civil and not aggressive. Mars has told Dave a lot of times that he doesn't agree with his religious views such as: the world being only 6000 years old and dinosaurs being killed in Noah's flood.
MARIO: I said that is complete and utter garbage because carbon dating is not wrong! Hard science is hard science, you can't hide behind a 2000 year old book when science proves that dinosaurs existed 350 million years ago.
He accepts his friends for who they are all the same. (Ad break) During the commerical break, John tells Ife that Mario is too nice to have a negative opinion on Dave. Mario announced that his friendship with Ben would recover from today but he'd hurt him. HOORAYYYYY we can now all sleep at night :D
The scoundrels that are BB delivered snacks in the shape of CRISPS - exposing their waggish p*sstaking humour at Sunshine's expense! John practically scoffs the entire packet into his gob in one!
Back to live feed, where the crisp crunching continues! Josie doesn't really like crisps but doesn't mind the odd packet of cheese and onion. Cabby leave the kitchen, Shabs asking if Caoimhe had eaten all the Milky way stars!! Ife's a ready salted girl, John swallows down the remaining crumbs and then throws his 5 empty packets in the bin!!
Nathan shovels crisps and sounds like he wants to punch BB's lights out as they're like 'fookin' tramps' scrambling for crisps and digging around in the dirt for fag ends! Corin had thought the same when she was shaving her legs in the shower. Josie retorts that BB don't care, Nathan doesn't give a f**k but doesn't want to look like a fookin' tramp on TV! If that were true, wouldn't he walk around fully clothed and stop scratching his ball sac?
He swaggers over to Josie, who rejects his .. cookies we'll say :P (longer SC) Mario knocks some crisps on the floor, not realising a packet was partially opened. John the human hoover, swallows them straight down.
JOHN: I'll eat mine on the ground, I don't care!
Steve is sharing out his Wotsits with John but Mario declines as Steve needs more sustenance than the rest of them. Corin can't believe they've got Haribo!!!
Caoimhe would have preferred alcohol as they'd had their bit of f**kin' rice. She doesn't think getting pizza at midnight is going to happen because they're getting their £500 shopping delivery tomorrow. The only thing she wants is more booze and a cigarette, she couldn't give a f**k about food! Shabby would really, really like cigarettes now 'more than life itself!'
Nathan steams in ranting that they're f**king tramps, he doesn't care he's gonna keep doing it! Then he uses the toilet to workshop his issues with a w*nk? John James is asked to ensure he's wearing his microphone at all times.
JOHN: Where is it?
Josie gets up from the sofa as though she's going to join forces with John on his search. Caoimhe claims she's not on this f**king level and hangs around with cool people. She thinks Shabby's cool, as she's the kind of person she spends time with on the outside. As Ife and Mario return to the bathroom, Nate warns them there's p*ss all over the floor. I have NO DOUBT that this is his own handiwork (or penis-work) but he wants to pass the buck.
Caoimhe and Shabby are at the herb garden to retrieve some rosemary, which is the answer to their wishes. They aren't sure how to smoke it so turn to Corin for answers. e ike
Ife
hates to say it, as she wants to stay as long as she can, but she's
actually so over this experience. 'Is
it bad for me to say that?'
Mario tests her by asking if she'd care if he swapped her face, if
he's up for nomination. She says for him to go for it as she likes to
have her independence. As Corin comes to use the loo, Mario forewarns
her that it's wet around the toilet. They need Alex Sibley and his
bleach bottle to come to the rescue! :D (SC)
It's onto 13 hours since Ife pressed the Diary room door, she sat there for about 2 but still hasn't been answered. (Long SC and loop stock footage of the house plays) Mario issues a dilemma for the smokers - a pizza or a pack of 20 cigarettes; Ife is unsure which she'd select. Steve would take the pizza 'no f**king qualms about it!'
Steve is then told to be careful with the slipperiness around the toilet seat. Ife is incensed that the finger is pointed in her direction as she sits on it, as a woman! She's so hot that her skin is beginning to get irritated so suggests she and Mario head to the snug. Then tries to decide whether she'll have a rosemary roll-up or not.
Mario sympathises with poor John who is still hungry and sweetly wearing Josie's brizzle is the shizzle shirt. Ife inquires if he'd not had any porridge, he did but is still hankering for more food. Josie feels so sorry for John in there because he eats SO much, John chuckles. Ife's the same, she eats loads even though she's not fat she eats absolutely loads.
JOSIE: That's because you're one of those lucky people who've got a high metabolism! I've only got to look at a Digestive and put on a stone.
Ife presses a pitying palm to Josie's cheek, feeling like a jerk wad! I wouldn't blame Josie if she'd been close to strangling Whiffy! When she doesn't eat she gets really dizzy, annoyed and weak; then asks John if he gets that where his eyes start to space out.
Josie tries to get the others pumped up for a pool party, looking more spaced out than Uranus! John had nearly fallen over when they were on the rations and imitates himself stumbling with starvation. As selfish, as that (doesn't) sound(s) it had made him want to go home for more than 1 second; that's how Ife felt today without food. John's stomach had been literally twisting and cramping :(
Mario entreats Josie about what mischief they are going to get up to. She doesn't say a word but takes hold of him, with a hooched up head hug!
MARIO: Are you p*ssed?
She giggles 'no' but it is not sincere, as she says it while yanking up her top to recover her boobage. He then interrogates if she's tipsy but she answereth not because she's timing herself holding her breath. Mario nudges his nose into Josie's boobies, saying the word twice as he does so!
Mario
keeps Josie propped up on the seat, as she closes her eyes. He may
feel like he is being strangled by a boa constrictor with the firm
grip she has wrapped round his neck. John laughs that he could have
eaten all the chips (we'll forgive him for this word because he's
Australian and doesn't use the term crisps) 'every
single packet.. and the lollies!' And
John doesn't even like chips!
Steve asks what those f**kers are doing, Josie is puckering her lips while holding her breath again! John is the slowest eater on the outside, 'but in here I'm like bang, bang, bang!' It only just registers with Maid Marion that Josie is using the stop watch to time her breath holding.
When Ife had got the naan bread out of the bin and toasted it (on the Backwards Day task) he didn't think he could eat it, but was so hungry he couldn't NOT! He had seen Steve's suspicious expression, so he didn't know either but then had to give in. This was Ife's lowest moment simultaneously one of Josie's proudest moments occurs - she reached a time of 1 minute!!
Steve salivates over being able to buy a Mars bar with the £500 shopping budget, John exclaims 'f**k yeah!' Ife is after a big bag of peanut M & M's. John reminds Josie that she can have his portion of money to buy her hair dye. She says, he can share it.
JOHN: I don't want your hair dye! (She asks why?) What do I need it for?
JOSIE: (as though this ought to be obvious) Cos you've got blonde hair!
John doesn't care, he'll let it grow out but Josie doesn't think he'll want it to. Josie proudly pronounces that today has been the first since they've been there, that John has not had a row with anyone! He giggles bashfully.
JOSIE: (jabbers joyously) Have you not noticed? Hasn't it been a really good atmosphere in here? And hasn't it been a really good vibe and it's been a really nice day.
STEVE: He's behaved himself!
Ife thought John had been really funny before pretending to be Danny Zuko. Josie is still spouting about how good today has been as there's been a great atmosphere. During the ad break, Josie drunkenly defends John "what we've got to remember is he's come all the way from Australia so it's harder!" Ife puts her foot in it, saying they might put a real babe in as John doesn't like pretty females.
They were about to go into the Diary room together but Skeeva stopped this by running up to the top of the stairs and receiving a ticking off from BB. Caoimhe brazenly and boozily apologises to John for hurting him (somehow) and offers to kiss it better!!
JOHN: Am I in your top 5?
JOSIE: Top ONE!
JOHN: Aww, thanks Jose! (THAT would have been the time to repay the compliment!! Not stick a sharp weapon through her soul!!)
JOHN:
(through
laughter he repeats her previous phrase) Look
them two are so f**king funny!
JOSIE: (lips are loosed from the truth juice) I know except she fancies Caoimhe and Caoimhe's scared of Shabby!
John
chortles
at her crapulous (this is a real world I googled!) candour, he thinks
he'd be scared of Shabby too if he were a girl! He's only been
friends with them a week but he really didn't want either to go. Josie
really thought when she was put in that her and Shabby would be in
fisticuffs.
JOHN: Why? Did you write down a description that you didn't like girls like that?
She hadn't but does reckon that BB thought this (that they'd wreak havoc and kick off!) John is keener than cucumber to get to the root of WHY.
JOSIE: Cos when she first came down the steps I was like (gives John a look to suggest that she's not so fond of that type of girl)
JOHN: Why? Why though? Just clothes that she wore or something?
He stares at her so intently it's as though he really wants to kiss her right then. Josie knows she's just not really into people like that but has now got to know her.
JOHN: What do you mean 'not really into people like that?' People like what?
JOSIE: Well.. think they know everything and so opinionated! But now I've gotten to know her, I really like her. But then again, look at me with you! Just goes to show I'll never read a book by its cover ever again! (muddling the expression)
John
concludes that this is what the show teaches them. He thinks there
still could be fireworks to come between himself and Nate but when he
first met him, he thought they'd be going each other. Josie evaluates
that the only reason John hasn't is because Nathan's been putting the
dinners on the table. John doesn't care about that but has a lot of
respect for Nathan because that's what he does.
JOHN: Cos I wouldn't do it! I'll be straight up. I wouldn't f**king cook for f**king ..
JOSIE: I would, I'd love to!
JOSIE:
(foghorns)
STOP KICKING THE
F**KING FIRE EXIT!
(Shabs asks 'who?') You
lot! (John's
face is both amused and dazzled in equal proportions, by the way
Josie had screamed out as if they were morons!)
Shabby snarls back that she hadn't 'f**king touched it!' Caoimhe and Ife 'fess up, Mario goes back in before it starts raining. Shabs couldn't give a sh*t if this means they fail the task as she's sick of these people! Ife hands over her roll-up to Caoimhe as the rosemary 'doesn't work!' and winces at how painful her hand is.
She is in need of a plaster but realises BB won't care. Shabby commands that she wipe some antiseptic stuff on it. Ife's incensed that in the event of a fire she wouldn't be able to get out of that exit. Shabby ensures her she would but because they were a little scared, they weren't doing it properly.
Ife
has come inside to ask what BB had said and to show her wounded hand,
from punching the fire exit! Josie states that it obviously doesn't
work but Mario believes that if they were scrambling to get out, the
adrenaline would take over. John is inspecting Ife's hand which she
yelps hurts so much (doubt it hurts more than a bruised tail bone!),
John tells her to put it under cold water. Mario thinks that will
teach Ife for starting fights with an inanimate object.
JOSIE: John, I don't think they're gonna let us in!
JOHN: (chuckles) It wouldn't appear so, would it?
Mario
starts to say to John that he does miss Sunshine but becomes
bad-tempered and rolls his eyes as he's 'not
f**king listening!' Let's
face it, Mario could have filled his pants with custard and done
about 200 star jumps and nobody would have been remotely interested.
John says 'sorry man!' Mario
snaps back 'that's
alright' in a
that's-not-alright-you-twat manner!
JOHN:
Hey relax! She just f**king ..
MARIO: (puffed up moronic educated buffoon) Just something else I need to suppress now (John apologies to Mars once more) being asked a question and then ignored, when I'm trying to answer it. (Again John says he's sorry) Just another one of another thousand things that's p*ssing me off, that I'm suppressing.
JOSIE: (tells him off with tongue in cheek) Alright Mar! Bl**dy hell! Do you know what I mean? Build a bridge!
Mars acts the victim and stomps away in a strop into the bedroom, making Josie laugh. John had wanted to know what Josie was doing, thus his inadvertent ignorings of the man who we WISH was on Mars! Word has reached Nathan about the fire exit, so Mario jokes 'that's what happens when you smoke rosemary' while sniffing the socks he'd just removed from his feet!
Nathan asks Ife about her kicking the fire escape so she denies kicking. Mario grasses that Ife had punched it and her hand is now bleeding. Ife wasn't really going to break it, she was doing it for effect because she thinks she's be able to break the bit of plastic. She leaves the room and tuts that Mario's such a little dobber for telling them they tried to break the fire exit.
Now the men are worried that they will lose the shopping budget. So now she is compelled to apologise to BB even though they haven't responded once since her buzzing 13 hours back. Josie calls through the bedroom door to Mario 'are you having a number 1 or number 2?' He answers – number 1.
JOSIE:
(deadpan) Done
yet?
(Steve snickers and she swings open the door)
MARIO: Do you mind? (evidently not as she enters and closes the door behind her for a chat)
JOSIE: (has no sense of boundaries when wasted) You haven't washed your hands! Dirty b*gger! (leaves) You are having a laugh? You are having a laugh! You're joking!!!
John decides to be the bigger person and follows after Mario to make up. Mario shakes him by the shoulders before they have a cute bromance moment in the closet. They have multiple man hugs as John speaks speedily that Josie was enjoying her bevvy and wanted him to wear the Brizzle the shizzle shirt.
JOHN: It's cutting off the f**king circulation! Don't be annoyed (Mario hugs him again) f**k me!
Mario manifests that he's not annoyed with John he's feeling sh*t with Sunshine going and that made him remember it all again.
JOHN: You know I'd f**king do anything for ya, man so..
Mario says for John to stop stressing but he'd forgotten about Sunshine leaving momentarily.. until he felt sh*t again remembering it all. John promises not to bring it up again; Mario had needed a p*ss and wanted to be alone with his thoughts.
JOHN: If you need anyone to talk to about it, let me know, alright?
Mario doesn't know how much longer he can suppress his anger, as it's getting to the point where he wants to explode! John laughs uneasily, Dave and Corin check if Mario's okay from their beds. He masks his animalistic moley moans into his pillow. John lets the others know that Mario's upset as Sunshine's left. Dave quips that he's a raging bull, Ben lifts his head to laugh in bed!
Nathan 'beautifully' expresses his thoughts about the little pr*cks and how they'll see some serious f**king anger! Steve wants to know why the girls were at the top of the steps (Shabby and Caoimhe) John's not sure as he ran away! John's not getting involved 'as I'm p*ssing off enough people without doing sh*t like that!'
Dave opens up his bed to Mario, if he wants to go over and talk about Sunshine. Mario would rather not. Ife comes back in after speaking to BB, she's not in trouble as she only hit it once. She pouts that Mario had told on her!! Her and Josie then try to make arrangements as to who is sharing with Mario tonight, it is supposed to be Josie but she relents so Ife can have him.
JOSIE: But tomorrow, I want you - alright?
Mario and Ife check Josie is fine with it, then Matchmaker asks John 'why don't you share with Josie?' (already beneath his bed blankets)
JOHN: No, cos she's a b*tch! I never got the invite!
Josie doesn't respond as she's talking with Ife and then is kissed and hugged by Mario, while she's in the middle of making her bed. John tips off that he'll be p*ssed if they 'lose that 5 hundy!' (HM's will come to tragic and gruesome ends!!)
Jose jokes that Mario shouldn't give Ife the satisfaction tonight but she's strong! (so can manage to sleep one night alone in bed) John starts off a Walton's style good night in the bedroom.
JOSIE: (Hillbilly accent) Goodnight, John Jaaames!
Steve shouts for them to shut up and go to bed but then wishes Jose and Johnny goodnight.
JOSIE: G'night Stevey boy!
JOHN: Night, mate.
BEN: Goodnight, Stevie!
DAVE: Night, Baron!
NATE: Nerrrrghhmmmm!
John realises that Corin now has a double bed to herself and mickey-takes 'lovin' it me!' Corin claims to miss Sunshine as she'd rather have a chat with her but is loving it. Ife tells them all to think that they might wake up in the morning to new HM's, you never know. John teases how Ife elongated her 'knoooow!'
JOHN: I like Ifester! Doesn't hark up, just says 'you never knooow!' Talking about food again, Davo? (loud laughter, John didn't fall off the turnip truck!)
Josie leans over her bed to talk to John as she's lost something. Dave is amused that even with the budget, they may only get 3 extra grains of rice and a flake of tuna! Steve can hear the f**king monk smelling those haribos from his bed, he knows he doesn't go without because he's the Baron!
In the bathroom, Shabby still doesn't feel well towards a situation, she gets the whole stripping them back but coffee and nicotine are their crutches. Caoimhe would give anything, her ring and bracelet as she can't be herself without the things she wants! HARD CHEESE!! She feels it's sh*t that her head is banging from needing coffee and a cigarette 'I can't f**king handle it anymore!!'
Shabby expresses that they could do more on this front too, as extraordinary amounts of coffee was wasted last week! She knows she is partially to blame because as soon as hers cools she won't have it. Caoimhe is guilty too as she needs 3 cups in the morning and didn't realise that she was a f**king caffiene addict! Her head bangs if she doesn't have a cigarette and coffee in her hand, she wails that she can't live like this!!
Caoimhe just can't see how she can do this if it's always going to be that way. Shabby reminds her they're getting the shopping tomorrow, so they should sleep and when they wake up they'll deal with it then. She suggests they sleep the day away until the shopping arrives. BB announces that the store room is open for the pair to collect their suitcases.
Shabby wonders why Mario didn't receive anything from Sunshine tonight and imagines if she'd been evicted and not given a treat to Caoimhe! The menace and the troublemaker make their way to the store room; Caoimhe complains that the garden has been closed off and the blinds put down.
SHABBY: They closed it because we broke the f**king door!
A burst of the bedroom, Mario and Josie joke around about chickens until Grinchy Steve stifles their f**king whispering!
Shabby and Caoimhe have come to a screeching halt in the store room, as Shabs TOTES put sh*t (PHOTOS) in the smaller tote bag! They check if the bags have been emptied into their cases then remember they need a key, which Shabs pulls from her pocket.
CAOIMHE: Clever little gem, aren't ya?
Alas, the efficiency fairies have not placed the bags inside their suitcases! Caoimhe is stunned at how little she has, but she didn't pack to be there. Shabby is sad that BB have her hat, Italian army belt, the stuff in her trunk, her nice green and black shirt as it was all in her hand luggage.
CAOIMHE: (Screeches) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrr! I HATE THEM SOMETIMES!! They can't just give you, what you f**king want! I'm p*ssed off Shabby! (she's ready to explode like an emotional balloon)
SHABBY: You're not very good at hissy fits, are you?
Caoimhe's cage is rattled as she explains that she just gets angry and can't deal with this f**king sh*t anymore! Unless tomorrow is good and she has a cigarette first thing, she can't do it. She doesn't want to seem like an ungrateful little b*tch but all this waiting sh*t when she needs a paracetomol (and gets one 4 hours later) is a p*ss take! They wheel their cases out, Caoimhe whining that she's sick to death of this sh*t!
They drop their cases down in the lounge and intend to leave them there overnight. Shabby ties back her hair while her cohort trunches off into the bathroom, muttering miserably under her breath. Mario is called to the Diary room, after 30 seconds and no sign of him - Shabby peers around the bedroom door asking if he'd heard.
Josie makes Seahorse look a right prawn as she is not backwards in forwards in bellowing out, 'I CAN SMELL SH*T!! IT REEKS!' Dave instantly blames Nathan :D Caoimhe covers her nose after inhaling Nathan's farts telling them it is f**king disgusting 'who did that?'
Her anger is apparently not strawberry-scented!! :P
JOHN: (Raucous) HA!
Nathan is sarcastic in his apologies to Caoimhe 'what do you want me to do ? Slash my wrists?'
CAOIMHE: No, go to the toilet!!
More from WHATM:
1.54am, This is when John becomes a thief in the night, taking Josie's doona! Josie tells Steve to 'hush your jibber jabber!' when he is awoken by their nosiness!
2am, The HL show 'I love you' moment and the WHATM mock 'the Mills and Boone brigade' for going mental!
2.03am, JOSIE (to John): You come and stay with me next week, just as friends.
JOHN: You do realise I'm not gonna be here next week.
JOSIE: I just wanna say summat now that's really odd, 'goodnight Govan'
John echoes her. Shabby has told them to be quite too. They are still whispering softly saying goodnight to Govan the toy giraffe.
SHABBY: Oh my god are these guys high? Shut the f**k up, MORONS!
2.10am, Mario stripping to get ready for bed with Jose..
JOSIE: Mario..? You're not gettin' naked are you?
Mario reassures her he is wearing pants. Josie cracks up at something he says.
MARIO: You're pissed!
JOSIE: Am I?
Mario thanks Josie for cheering him up and returns to her bed at 2.25am. Josie tells Mario that she loves his smell as he smells lush, he thanks her.
MARIO: (expressionless) That's very true.
Whiffster tells Mario that just because he's friends with Ben they don't need to like all the same things. According to Mars, she's lost the whole thread of the argument over why they fell out. Ben trying to springboard his career annoyed Mario slightly, as this last BB wasn't supposed to be about people trying to become famous off the back of it. Even the producers had said this. (Scene skip)
IFE: Excuse me, I've been on TV!
However, Mario's point is that she'd not hosted her own show like Ben has previously. (AD BREAK?)
John doesn't care what anyone says 'that was pure, outright attention-seeking!' As Sunshine had known they were having a conversation, Shabs and Caoimhe were talking with them and Sunshine wanted a bit of attention but wasn't getting it.
JOHN: So therefore she decided to do laps! She could have done laps at any time, but she chose that particular moment, at that particular time. Because she wanted attention.
John told her straight to her face that he thinks she's an attention seeker. Ben isn't saying for one moment that she isn't, John doesn't find anything wrong with that at all. Ben's saying the public would have found that amusing.
JOHN: I wouldn't have, as a viewer. But each to their own!
Dave determines that Sunshine had a great personality in lots of ways (John agrees she did) but there were some areas where she was in error 'she admitted the exaggeration of what went on the other night.' John decides that overall, she was definitely a good person. Ben describes that Sunshine brought colour to the house.
JOHN: I don't think I'm an attention seeker in the slightest!
Josie and Caoimhe are squatting by the fridge, raiding for goodies. Jose couldn't walk off in a strop if someone was talking to her - as Shabby had. Caoimhe is still more concerned with her existential crisis and not wanting Josie to think she is shy.
JOSIE: (jokingly gets to the heart of the matter)Alright then, you're a b*tch!(laughs)
At times in there Caoimhe just doesn't know what to say and Nathan confuses her. She hates all this sh*t 'darlin' darlin' and just doesn't like it. This is the part shown on the HL's where Josie owns up to feeling uncomfortable with the attention she's getting, especially from Nathan. (So I won't rehash my previous post) Girls can smell Nathan's Neanderthal womanising ways a mile away!
'Even under the influence of el vino, Quaver is still a charmless dullard!' (Janet St Walker WHATM) Hearing Monobrow man in the living room, Josie changes the subject for them to get the rosemary on the go and punctuates it with a mighty eruption of throat gas (a burp to you or I!) Caoimhe can see exactly why Josie would feel uncomfortable, with one rubbing her back and the other touching her foot.
JOSIE: (honest and vulnerable) That's the reason I don't mind hanging around John James, cos he's not like that. And I know he likes me as a mate. I know he doesn't like .. look at me like that.
CAOIMHE:(Rat-arsed) See I kinda look at someone like John James as assexual.. cos he doesn't.. I've never seen him flirt.
JOSIE: (Quick to correct) Oh he does flirt. (Caoimhe asks if he flirts with Josie) Mm! (Kiev wants to know what he'd do) I said 'when we get some new HM's, mind I don't want you dumping me for some other Sheila!' (they chuckle) And he went 'I would never dump you Jose, ever!' :( But then he goes (mimes John playfighting) gives me a knuckle sandwich, that's not really flirting is it?
Caoimhe supposes that's his way but she's never witnessed it. Steve makes his entrance calling 'alright you crackers!' Josie laughs that she'd thought he was going to say 'alright, you fatties!'
JOSIE: So is your vagina designer or is it..? (distracted by Corin coming in wanting to share some lager)
So she doesn't have to hear Caoimhe confessing that her lady garden is very hairy! I hope this frightful footnote hasn't got any of your aprons in a bunch. SHE SAID IT, NOT I! Josie admits she's been a right greedy b*tch when it comes to the alcohol tonight. Corin realises that it is the last one, Steve comments that BB will need to send a lot more in if they want to get him drunk. Jose knows exactly what he means.
JOSIE: Steve, I could drink about a bottle and a half of a wine and I wouldn't.. well, I 'd be a little bit lippy but I wouldn't be drunk. (Caoimhe too) Oh, I'm a lippy mare when I've had a few!
Corin kindly tries to give the can back to the girls but they've already had cider (AND wine!!) Steve teases 'oh, having a party on your own, are ya?' Josie dodges this and says to Steve that Caoimhe's trying to tell her she's not shy. Steve doesn't think she is, not for a minute. Josie tops up her drink after badgering from Corin but then urges her to take the remainder, as the others don't drink that often.
Cozza invites them out for a rosemary, but Josie remembers she's been told off once for that already.
JOSIE: Shall we get back on the bananas?
The dispenser of advice uses her same stock standard recycled responses, that she thinks they should talk to each other tomorrow, to sort it out. The first time Ben made the comment he let it go but the second utterance had felt like a knife in Mario's back. Ife wants to bring something up with her now close friend, as she's been completely honest with him from the beginning.
There's just one thing she can't get her head around, how Mario can be anywhere near Dave after he'd made the comment about gay marriage being immoral. Mario sighs, that when he's friends with somebody he'll accept them for their faults.
IFE: (In house counsellor mode) Even when they're saying that you don't deserve equality?
It did p*ss him off which is why he'd left the room but it's only one person's opinion. If she was gay and someone had said that to her, she would NOT be giving them the time of day.. though understand that's difficult in this house. So she can't understand why Mario can still be his friend; but Mario accepts that Dave has a lot of religious looney tunes going on.
Mario concurs that it's a bit unfair. The camera men show their sense of humour by flipping to Caoimhe and Shabby feeling and looking smug and sozzled, with wine glasses in hand, sniggering 'f**k it!' They can't believe they are still there, Caoimhe thought she'd be in her hotel right now 'literally f**ing' then laughs that she's disgusting.
Satirically, Shabby and her super good friend Caoimhe Guilfoyle think there's quite a lot of alcohol they've left! Gargoyle wouldn't have thought Josie saw her like that and supposes she may be like 'that one who won but didn't speak!' (Reference to Rachel Rice winner of BB9)
Mario defends Dave as his friend because he always looks for the good in people. If he can find some basic goodness then he will overlook the stupid sh*t but Dave has given him a lot of food for thought 'not that I'm ever gonna become a religious convert or anything!' Some of Dave's viewpoints have given him something to mull over. Once he's found that basic core of goodness he likes he overlooks a lot, same with Ben but it had really got to him today.
The point that Ife has stumbled upon is that it was NONE of her business (but she made it so) as she was just hearing hear'say. Mario gives this as the reason for Dave and Josie not being friends.
So she found the perfect time, to take Dave to task on what he'd meant by 'immoral!' Josie comes through so Mario again mentions Dave's standing on gay weddings, is why she's not friends with Dave.
Sheeva felt sorry for Sunshine being the one to get the boot. Caoimhe even really liked her after their task together 'I loved the one she licked her little lollies in such a delight!' Her heart went out to her as Sunshine's not a bad person; Shabby tried to tell her so. Caoimhe who could get drunk on a wine gum, sneers that Sunshine tried too hard to be cool 'It's never gonna happen!'
Shabby doesn't think that's the case at all but Caoimhe doesn't know how to explain Sunshine's acting. 'All that black lipstick sh*t, I mean is she looking for attention?' Shabby assesses that Sparkles isn't trying to be cool but eccentric! Though Caoimhe is correct on this count - the lipstick made Sunshine's lips so large, it put them on the map!!
The tedious twosome feel that if BB showed her John James thing as it was then of course Sunshine was going to get evicted. This makes Shabby feel better about the show because she now believes, they did show that as it was but then wonders why. Caoimhe contends that it was totally blown out of proportion and they couldn't lie to the whole f**king nation.
John joins them and greets Mario and Ife with a 'hello boys!' Ife has to add 'and girl!' which he had realised as the words were already leaving his lips. The next day, she was speaking to Josie about it who had rubbished Dave's words 'nah, nah, nah he was saying it was immoral!' So she's left not knowing what to think, as she looked Dave in the eyes, was direct and listened, understood and was happy with what Dave had to say. Then the next minute she finds out it might b a lie.
IFE: This house makes you well paranoid! You just have to take everything, everyone says as the truth until it's proven guilty.
JOHN: (unawares that Josie is in the toilet and can hear him through the wall) Don't um.. don't get Josie started on the paranoia! (Mario butts in 'or John!') And don't say that word, Jose will be onto ya!
JOSIE: (Shouts back) Shut up!! (they all giggle, John must open the door and peek in) Go away!
JOHN: (just as infatuated with her then as he was at the end) Ah f**kin' hell! Are you bleeding in there or what?
JOSIE: (Yells) Stoooop it!
She knows that her gay friends would be kicking off, though they are in a different environment so they have to be civil and not aggressive. Mars has told Dave a lot of times that he doesn't agree with his religious views such as: the world being only 6000 years old and dinosaurs being killed in Noah's flood.
MARIO: I said that is complete and utter garbage because carbon dating is not wrong! Hard science is hard science, you can't hide behind a 2000 year old book when science proves that dinosaurs existed 350 million years ago.
He accepts his friends for who they are all the same. (Ad break) During the commerical break, John tells Ife that Mario is too nice to have a negative opinion on Dave. Mario announced that his friendship with Ben would recover from today but he'd hurt him. HOORAYYYYY we can now all sleep at night :D
The scoundrels that are BB delivered snacks in the shape of CRISPS - exposing their waggish p*sstaking humour at Sunshine's expense! John practically scoffs the entire packet into his gob in one!
Nathan shovels crisps and sounds like he wants to punch BB's lights out as they're like 'fookin' tramps' scrambling for crisps and digging around in the dirt for fag ends! Corin had thought the same when she was shaving her legs in the shower. Josie retorts that BB don't care, Nathan doesn't give a f**k but doesn't want to look like a fookin' tramp on TV! If that were true, wouldn't he walk around fully clothed and stop scratching his ball sac?
He swaggers over to Josie, who rejects his .. cookies we'll say :P (longer SC) Mario knocks some crisps on the floor, not realising a packet was partially opened. John the human hoover, swallows them straight down.
JOHN: I'll eat mine on the ground, I don't care!
Steve is sharing out his Wotsits with John but Mario declines as Steve needs more sustenance than the rest of them. Corin can't believe they've got Haribo!!!
Nathan steams in ranting that they're f**king tramps, he doesn't care he's gonna keep doing it! Then he uses the toilet to workshop his issues with a w*nk? John James is asked to ensure he's wearing his microphone at all times.
JOHN: Where is it?
Josie gets up from the sofa as though she's going to join forces with John on his search. Caoimhe claims she's not on this f**king level and hangs around with cool people. She thinks Shabby's cool, as she's the kind of person she spends time with on the outside. As Ife and Mario return to the bathroom, Nate warns them there's p*ss all over the floor. I have NO DOUBT that this is his own handiwork (or penis-work) but he wants to pass the buck.
Caoimhe and Shabby are at the herb garden to retrieve some rosemary, which is the answer to their wishes. They aren't sure how to smoke it so turn to Corin for answers. e ike
It's onto 13 hours since Ife pressed the Diary room door, she sat there for about 2 but still hasn't been answered. (Long SC and loop stock footage of the house plays) Mario issues a dilemma for the smokers - a pizza or a pack of 20 cigarettes; Ife is unsure which she'd select. Steve would take the pizza 'no f**king qualms about it!'
Steve is then told to be careful with the slipperiness around the toilet seat. Ife is incensed that the finger is pointed in her direction as she sits on it, as a woman! She's so hot that her skin is beginning to get irritated so suggests she and Mario head to the snug. Then tries to decide whether she'll have a rosemary roll-up or not.
Mario sympathises with poor John who is still hungry and sweetly wearing Josie's brizzle is the shizzle shirt. Ife inquires if he'd not had any porridge, he did but is still hankering for more food. Josie feels so sorry for John in there because he eats SO much, John chuckles. Ife's the same, she eats loads even though she's not fat she eats absolutely loads.
JOSIE: That's because you're one of those lucky people who've got a high metabolism! I've only got to look at a Digestive and put on a stone.
Josie tries to get the others pumped up for a pool party, looking more spaced out than Uranus! John had nearly fallen over when they were on the rations and imitates himself stumbling with starvation. As selfish, as that (doesn't) sound(s) it had made him want to go home for more than 1 second; that's how Ife felt today without food. John's stomach had been literally twisting and cramping :(
Mario entreats Josie about what mischief they are going to get up to. She doesn't say a word but takes hold of him, with a hooched up head hug!
MARIO: Are you p*ssed?
She giggles 'no' but it is not sincere, as she says it while yanking up her top to recover her boobage. He then interrogates if she's tipsy but she answereth not because she's timing herself holding her breath. Mario nudges his nose into Josie's boobies, saying the word twice as he does so!
Steve asks what those f**kers are doing, Josie is puckering her lips while holding her breath again! John is the slowest eater on the outside, 'but in here I'm like bang, bang, bang!' It only just registers with Maid Marion that Josie is using the stop watch to time her breath holding.
When Ife had got the naan bread out of the bin and toasted it (on the Backwards Day task) he didn't think he could eat it, but was so hungry he couldn't NOT! He had seen Steve's suspicious expression, so he didn't know either but then had to give in. This was Ife's lowest moment simultaneously one of Josie's proudest moments occurs - she reached a time of 1 minute!!
Steve salivates over being able to buy a Mars bar with the £500 shopping budget, John exclaims 'f**k yeah!' Ife is after a big bag of peanut M & M's. John reminds Josie that she can have his portion of money to buy her hair dye. She says, he can share it.
JOHN: I don't want your hair dye! (She asks why?) What do I need it for?
JOSIE: (as though this ought to be obvious) Cos you've got blonde hair!
JOSIE: (jabbers joyously) Have you not noticed? Hasn't it been a really good atmosphere in here? And hasn't it been a really good vibe and it's been a really nice day.
STEVE: He's behaved himself!
Ife thought John had been really funny before pretending to be Danny Zuko. Josie is still spouting about how good today has been as there's been a great atmosphere. During the ad break, Josie drunkenly defends John "what we've got to remember is he's come all the way from Australia so it's harder!" Ife puts her foot in it, saying they might put a real babe in as John doesn't like pretty females.
They were about to go into the Diary room together but Skeeva stopped this by running up to the top of the stairs and receiving a ticking off from BB. Caoimhe brazenly and boozily apologises to John for hurting him (somehow) and offers to kiss it better!!
JOHN: Am I in your top 5?
JOSIE: Top ONE!
JOHN: Aww, thanks Jose! (THAT would have been the time to repay the compliment!! Not stick a sharp weapon through her soul!!)
Shabby
swears she's trippin' out after smoking the rosemary. Ife thinks
Mario may as well have some and he caves in to social pressure,
telling him he can't get addicted like tobacco. In the living room,
John is hanging over the side of the couch like a koala on a branch.
He is touched that Sunshine gave him the ring he is wearing. Josie
awwwww's and then swigs some water back.
JOHN:
(in Dave's voice) Such a sweet girl!
JOSIE:
(they're both being adorkable) She is, in't she? (lays
down on the sofa beside him) When she left all those bits and
pieces under your pillow, I was like 'aww that is so
sweet!' I would never think to do anything like that!
JOHN:
(bantering) B*tch!
JOSIE:
I'm.. I'm not that girl! (this
has me singing the song with the same title from the musical Wicked)
JOSIE: (lips are loosed from the truth juice) I know except she fancies Caoimhe and Caoimhe's scared of Shabby!
JOHN: Why? Did you write down a description that you didn't like girls like that?
She hadn't but does reckon that BB thought this (that they'd wreak havoc and kick off!) John is keener than cucumber to get to the root of WHY.
JOSIE: Cos when she first came down the steps I was like (gives John a look to suggest that she's not so fond of that type of girl)
JOHN: Why? Why though? Just clothes that she wore or something?
He stares at her so intently it's as though he really wants to kiss her right then. Josie knows she's just not really into people like that but has now got to know her.
JOHN: What do you mean 'not really into people like that?' People like what?
JOSIE: Well.. think they know everything and so opinionated! But now I've gotten to know her, I really like her. But then again, look at me with you! Just goes to show I'll never read a book by its cover ever again! (muddling the expression)
JOHN: Cos I wouldn't do it! I'll be straight up. I wouldn't f**king cook for f**king ..
JOSIE: I would, I'd love to!
JOHN:
I wouldn't cook for 16.. for 14 people, a few of them whinge about
it.. few of 'em give him tips on how to do it and
a vegan! Pforrr! F**k that off! He's not f**king Jamie Oliver!
This
is Josie's ideal man – Jamie Oliver not Nathan! John is under the
impression that Nathan likes it as much as he likes playing football.
He'd play football for 14 people :D
JOSIE:
(Speaks into her mic still sploshed) Big
Brother, can you let me and the Australian in? I've taught him a
thing or two about the UK! (then
in a more tender tone) Are
you tired, John? You wanna go to bed?
Nathan's
about the only one, John thought BB had set that up so they'd fire.
Because Nathan's opinions are very 'he's
right, you're wrong!'
bound to cause a neutron star collision, I muse :D (a mention for one
of my fave bands) BB pipes up for one HM to ask those in the garden
to stop kicking the fire exit. John asks if Josie could hear a person
over the top of that but she's a woman who means business and has
made her way to the patio door to carry out orders.
Shabby snarls back that she hadn't 'f**king touched it!' Caoimhe and Ife 'fess up, Mario goes back in before it starts raining. Shabs couldn't give a sh*t if this means they fail the task as she's sick of these people! Ife hands over her roll-up to Caoimhe as the rosemary 'doesn't work!' and winces at how painful her hand is.
She is in need of a plaster but realises BB won't care. Shabby commands that she wipe some antiseptic stuff on it. Ife's incensed that in the event of a fire she wouldn't be able to get out of that exit. Shabby ensures her she would but because they were a little scared, they weren't doing it properly.
JOSIE: John, I don't think they're gonna let us in!
JOHN: (chuckles) It wouldn't appear so, would it?
Ife
didn't mind smoking rosemary but did mind them filming her doing so.
Josie asks what they reckon the time is, Ife guesstimates 1, 2 or 3
o'clock much to John's shock 'is
it? No wonder I'm so f**king tired!' Mario
thinks BB should tell them as it's not their fault there was a power
outage. Josie checks with John if they're going to do their bit
tomorrow (in the Diary room), John wants to go to bed.
MARIO: (puffed up moronic educated buffoon) Just something else I need to suppress now (John apologies to Mars once more) being asked a question and then ignored, when I'm trying to answer it. (Again John says he's sorry) Just another one of another thousand things that's p*ssing me off, that I'm suppressing.
JOSIE: (tells him off with tongue in cheek) Alright Mar! Bl**dy hell! Do you know what I mean? Build a bridge!
Mars acts the victim and stomps away in a strop into the bedroom, making Josie laugh. John had wanted to know what Josie was doing, thus his inadvertent ignorings of the man who we WISH was on Mars! Word has reached Nathan about the fire exit, so Mario jokes 'that's what happens when you smoke rosemary' while sniffing the socks he'd just removed from his feet!
Nathan asks Ife about her kicking the fire escape so she denies kicking. Mario grasses that Ife had punched it and her hand is now bleeding. Ife wasn't really going to break it, she was doing it for effect because she thinks she's be able to break the bit of plastic. She leaves the room and tuts that Mario's such a little dobber for telling them they tried to break the fire exit.
Now the men are worried that they will lose the shopping budget. So now she is compelled to apologise to BB even though they haven't responded once since her buzzing 13 hours back. Josie calls through the bedroom door to Mario 'are you having a number 1 or number 2?' He answers – number 1.
MARIO: Do you mind? (evidently not as she enters and closes the door behind her for a chat)
JOSIE: (has no sense of boundaries when wasted) You haven't washed your hands! Dirty b*gger! (leaves) You are having a laugh? You are having a laugh! You're joking!!!
John
comes in to say that the fire exit has been broken so they're getting
in trouble. A grunting Nathan is on the rampage calling them 'f**king
kn*bheads!'
This revelation even has Steve raising his voice 'what
is wrong with them?!' John
replies that they've already been rounded up in the Diary room as BB
aren't happy about it.
Someone must have licked Nate's finger and stuck it in a socket, cos he swears to God if they lose the money, he's gonna go f**king apesh*t! I'd love to tear him a new can of spinach, I tell you now :D Steve can't get his head around the childishness 'if they wanna go home, they go home!'
JOHN: It's cutting off the f**king circulation! Don't be annoyed (Mario hugs him again) f**k me!
Mario manifests that he's not annoyed with John he's feeling sh*t with Sunshine going and that made him remember it all again.
JOHN:
(Soft)
I'm
sorry. I didn't mean to..
(cuddle again)
MARIO:
It's not your fault!
JOHN: You know I'd f**king do anything for ya, man so..
Mario says for John to stop stressing but he'd forgotten about Sunshine leaving momentarily.. until he felt sh*t again remembering it all. John promises not to bring it up again; Mario had needed a p*ss and wanted to be alone with his thoughts.
JOHN: If you need anyone to talk to about it, let me know, alright?
Nathan 'beautifully' expresses his thoughts about the little pr*cks and how they'll see some serious f**king anger! Steve wants to know why the girls were at the top of the steps (Shabby and Caoimhe) John's not sure as he ran away! John's not getting involved 'as I'm p*ssing off enough people without doing sh*t like that!'
Dave opens up his bed to Mario, if he wants to go over and talk about Sunshine. Mario would rather not. Ife comes back in after speaking to BB, she's not in trouble as she only hit it once. She pouts that Mario had told on her!! Her and Josie then try to make arrangements as to who is sharing with Mario tonight, it is supposed to be Josie but she relents so Ife can have him.
JOSIE: But tomorrow, I want you - alright?
Mario and Ife check Josie is fine with it, then Matchmaker asks John 'why don't you share with Josie?' (already beneath his bed blankets)
JOHN: No, cos she's a b*tch! I never got the invite!
Jose jokes that Mario shouldn't give Ife the satisfaction tonight but she's strong! (so can manage to sleep one night alone in bed) John starts off a Walton's style good night in the bedroom.
JOSIE: (Hillbilly accent) Goodnight, John Jaaames!
Steve shouts for them to shut up and go to bed but then wishes Jose and Johnny goodnight.
JOSIE: G'night Stevey boy!
JOHN: Night, mate.
BEN: Goodnight, Stevie!
DAVE: Night, Baron!
NATE: Nerrrrghhmmmm!
JOHN: I like Ifester! Doesn't hark up, just says 'you never knooow!' Talking about food again, Davo? (loud laughter, John didn't fall off the turnip truck!)
Josie leans over her bed to talk to John as she's lost something. Dave is amused that even with the budget, they may only get 3 extra grains of rice and a flake of tuna! Steve can hear the f**king monk smelling those haribos from his bed, he knows he doesn't go without because he's the Baron!
In the bathroom, Shabby still doesn't feel well towards a situation, she gets the whole stripping them back but coffee and nicotine are their crutches. Caoimhe would give anything, her ring and bracelet as she can't be herself without the things she wants! HARD CHEESE!! She feels it's sh*t that her head is banging from needing coffee and a cigarette 'I can't f**king handle it anymore!!'
Caoimhe just can't see how she can do this if it's always going to be that way. Shabby reminds her they're getting the shopping tomorrow, so they should sleep and when they wake up they'll deal with it then. She suggests they sleep the day away until the shopping arrives. BB announces that the store room is open for the pair to collect their suitcases.
Shabby wonders why Mario didn't receive anything from Sunshine tonight and imagines if she'd been evicted and not given a treat to Caoimhe! The menace and the troublemaker make their way to the store room; Caoimhe complains that the garden has been closed off and the blinds put down.
SHABBY: They closed it because we broke the f**king door!
A burst of the bedroom, Mario and Josie joke around about chickens until Grinchy Steve stifles their f**king whispering!
CAOIMHE: Clever little gem, aren't ya?
Alas, the efficiency fairies have not placed the bags inside their suitcases! Caoimhe is stunned at how little she has, but she didn't pack to be there. Shabby is sad that BB have her hat, Italian army belt, the stuff in her trunk, her nice green and black shirt as it was all in her hand luggage.
CAOIMHE: (Screeches) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrr! I HATE THEM SOMETIMES!! They can't just give you, what you f**king want! I'm p*ssed off Shabby! (she's ready to explode like an emotional balloon)
SHABBY: You're not very good at hissy fits, are you?
Caoimhe's cage is rattled as she explains that she just gets angry and can't deal with this f**king sh*t anymore! Unless tomorrow is good and she has a cigarette first thing, she can't do it. She doesn't want to seem like an ungrateful little b*tch but all this waiting sh*t when she needs a paracetomol (and gets one 4 hours later) is a p*ss take! They wheel their cases out, Caoimhe whining that she's sick to death of this sh*t!
Josie makes Seahorse look a right prawn as she is not backwards in forwards in bellowing out, 'I CAN SMELL SH*T!! IT REEKS!' Dave instantly blames Nathan :D Caoimhe covers her nose after inhaling Nathan's farts telling them it is f**king disgusting 'who did that?'
Her anger is apparently not strawberry-scented!! :P
JOHN: (Raucous) HA!
Nathan is sarcastic in his apologies to Caoimhe 'what do you want me to do ? Slash my wrists?'
CAOIMHE: No, go to the toilet!!
After
further acerbic and hostile retorts are exchanged, Nathan provides
his vilest yet 'would
you like me to sh*t in your bed? A big f**king turd!' The
cameras home in on John's cheeky grin, clearly entertained. Caoimhe
exhorts Nathan to change his f**king attitude as it's not cool!
Cut
to Shabby undoing her bra and chucking it on the floor before going
into the bedroom. Then viewers are treated to a shot of the bedroom
door for 43 seconds, eventually we're allowed entry too. Shabby says
for Caoimhe to shut up after she's voiced her hate for the hell hole!
Sheever are sniggering and whispering like school girls!
Fortunately,
I can also speak Gibberish which is the 'secret' language Cabby are
conversing in. They whisper most but from what I can hear clearly,
Caoimhe could suffocate Nathan, Shabs is losing the plot speaking in
Gibberish and f**k this! Shabby becomes too tired to fathom what
Caoimhe is saying, she just got the spins so gets her back rubbed and
then they sleep. This is where the live feed I can find finishes.
1.54am, This is when John becomes a thief in the night, taking Josie's doona! Josie tells Steve to 'hush your jibber jabber!' when he is awoken by their nosiness!
2am, The HL show 'I love you' moment and the WHATM mock 'the Mills and Boone brigade' for going mental!
2.03am, JOSIE (to John): You come and stay with me next week, just as friends.
JOHN: You do realise I'm not gonna be here next week.
JOSIE: I just wanna say summat now that's really odd, 'goodnight Govan'
John echoes her. Shabby has told them to be quite too. They are still whispering softly saying goodnight to Govan the toy giraffe.
SHABBY: Oh my god are these guys high? Shut the f**k up, MORONS!
2.10am, Mario stripping to get ready for bed with Jose..
JOSIE: Mario..? You're not gettin' naked are you?
Mario reassures her he is wearing pants. Josie cracks up at something he says.
MARIO: You're pissed!
JOSIE: Am I?
Mario thanks Josie for cheering him up and returns to her bed at 2.25am. Josie tells Mario that she loves his smell as he smells lush, he thanks her.
JOSIE: If you have a boner don't stick it in my back! Pretend I'm Ben.
Mario thanks Josie for letting him sleep in her bed tonight. They pretend to be Power rangers, Josie has the giggles.
3.04am, Jose talking in her sleep and Nathan sleep nose-picking. I think John may have got up and spoke to her to settle her down as she woke others up.
Mario thanks Josie for letting him sleep in her bed tonight. They pretend to be Power rangers, Josie has the giggles.
3.04am, Jose talking in her sleep and Nathan sleep nose-picking. I think John may have got up and spoke to her to settle her down as she woke others up.
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