(robotic voice) 9.39am, Robots have taken over the Big Brother house. Ethereal music plays in the background as Titan and other robotic figurines are shown around the house. All of the HM's are asleep. They are roused with an alarm from the soundtrack of one of the Terminator movies - if Mario had not noted this I'd never have known it! Nathan calls it brilliant but appears to like the melody piercing through the air, a little less at 9am! Corin OMG's that no way are all the single beds being tilted up, to oust them out of bed.
Steve has a high-spirited HAHA as he points to Ben being bounced from bed; Ben looks as though he is a sleeping corpse being woken from the dead before being slid off. The mic cord above him gets caught in his crew cut while Dave, John and Nathan defy the laws of gravity, managing to balance in fixed positions at the top of their mattresses! "Ben's waking up face is absolutely hilarious!" (vief86mo)
As the blinds are opened, oh Mario's gosh as he is first to descry that Galaptor (aka Titan) has moved. The second the door unlocks, he rushes out to greet their automated guest alongside Ife and Dave. Mario is totally transfixed by Titan; Ife woah's and Dave tips his hat (figuratively) to the metal man with a jocund 'Alright big boy! You've gone to a bit of effort out here today!'
John is sniffing around inspecting the machinery of their new mate and incontestably Corin the commoner has to 'OH MY GODDDDD!!' Titan jolts to life stunning Mario who jumps back, John and Corin (who screeches and then freezes to her spot on the floor) as he whirrs up mechanically. The three of them gather before Titan mesmerised soaking it in in all its foul glory but not really knowing what is about to take place.
Cozza screams and runs away as Titan starts walking across the living room, she hates it and Ife hides behind Nathan's back with a little yelp! The two girls watch on in terror and Ife continues to use Nathan as a human shield whenever the robot comes towards them. Think Ife wants the threat removed and for him to go back to roboHell where he belongs!!
BEN: (doesn't dazzle him to the point of dynamism) I love how everyone is so excited about a damn robot!
Titan (who doesn't have the most sophisticated musical palate) approaches John and serenades him with the song 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' this has them all giggling and Nathan even claps along to the music. It is well scaring Corin (her words) but she is sought out as Titan's conquest for some chat up lines 'well heeeeello! Ding dong, carry on! You're a cracker aren't you?' Mario has to nudge her forward to receive them from the bot who wants to rub his face on her face.
BB is being ironic as Nathan, the nicknamed Oasis reject is treated to an impromptu warbling of the Oasis classic 'Wonderwall' - they sing along with the lines 'Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna bring it back to you.' Corin's cantillations would be ghastly to the Gallagher brothers because she sings like a dog being stepped on!! The end of the tune takes a jazzy twist and Corin dances happy that she knows it.
CORIN: (just going to say she likes it now because Titan finds her arousing) Wow! I well love it now!
TITAN: (in Marcus Bentley's voice) Greetings HM's, I am Titan! I have an important message Robots are now in control of the house. Big Brother has been replaced by our leader, Big Brobot. Big Brobot has stationed me here as his right hand man. HM's for this week's shopping task, HM's must regain control of the house.
MARIO: (a sense of humour is sexy unless it comes over as DESPERATE) Titan, are you single?
He gets blown off as Titan burns out and Josie asks the group if anyone else is frightened to death? No Mario loves it even though it made him jump out of his skin; Corin considers it to be like the robot is breathing! Titan fires up again with his illuminating blue eyes; he startles an unsuspecting Josie so she lets out a high-pitched scream in fearfulness. She runs to cower outside with the safety of the glass doors dividing them.
Ife has taken to the shelter of the bathroom and is telling Ben that Mario is loving it! Ben commentates that Mario is obsessed with it while Corin OMG's some more that it is amazing, innit?
MARIO: (hashtag #EXCITING) That is the best thing ever! (ad break)
To use a phrase the Legen(wait-for-it)dary Will I Am coined, Mario sees Titan as the 'dopest thing in the history of FRESHNESS!'
To use a phrase the Legen(wait-for-it)dary Will I Am coined, Mario sees Titan as the 'dopest thing in the history of FRESHNESS!'
Some of the HM's are in the bedroom talking about religion. Josie has top and tailed at the bottom of John's single bed and she has a question for Dave. It is - If the Lord loves everyone and they love another person, why can't they get married? He was wheeling around in Steve's chair and declares that he won't even answer that as he's come in to demonstrate the love of God 'to love people, it doesn't matter who they are!' Josie drops the topic straight away because of his response and then feels guilty when the judgmental Express arrives in the shape of Caoimhe and for how she unleashes the Kraken.
Caoimhe charges at the jack-faced butthole with smoke pouring out of her ears 'cos you don't want us to!' She addresses with him through a sneering subconscious, how the Pope had said in Portugal about a month or two ago (when he was on a visit) in front of 44,000 people that same-sex marriage and abortion are two of the most dangerous things facing the world today. 'Would you agree with that?' Dave shrugs asking why he should answer that so she challenges that he follows a religion with a Leader that says these things.
Dave puts her straight that the Pope isn't his leader; she was under the incorrect impression that he followed the Catholic faith as he reads the Bible. Jesus Christ is Dave's leader and he's not a part of the Catholic church 'I'm a son of God, a born-again Christian. I have no connection at all with the Catholic church.' John confronts him if he just doesn't want to express his view in the house and whether he would give his opinion, if Caoimhe asked him the same question on the outside. He probably wouldn't.
DAVE: (so mad at these misconceptions that he doesn't even want to be around her) Because you've got a stereotypical mindset of what a Christian is (so far there has been no major yelling or ugliness but she shouts over him that she absolutely has not) or a Catholic or whoever, should be like.
Caoimhe respects his views completely (though wants answers to her questions) but Dave doesn't know about that, he thinks there are areas where she is angry towards him because of what she believes he believes and because of how he should respond after being around people who have responded this way. She insists that she hasn't and her views are her own, very personal ones. Ben and Mario are now listening in too as Dave damns his pride and clamours that some have stereotypical mindsets about born again Christians believing that he will be against certain people.
DAVE: (this is what he believes is behind why Caoimhe is so caustic to him and resentful of his religious persuasions) And they've said.. made judgments when I haven't even given an opinion on these things!
CAOIMHE: (what is she? The piety police?) But you wouldn't marry two gays? You wouldn't marry a man and a man? (as this is what he'd said to Josie)
Both Dave and Caoimhe are taking immense offence to each other throughout the course of this conversation. Keevil is her usual screw-being-nice self in order to make another person feel terrible as though they should! This could have become a fairly intense screaming match if so many other HM's were not around to mediate if needed.
Both Dave and Caoimhe are taking immense offence to each other throughout the course of this conversation. Keevil is her usual screw-being-nice self in order to make another person feel terrible as though they should! This could have become a fairly intense screaming match if so many other HM's were not around to mediate if needed.
DAVE: (acerbated by why she must always be like this) I didn't sign up to come in here and give an opinion on everything. That is not why I came in here.
Caoimhe tears him a new can of spinach as she can't see why he won't answer a question as they just want to understand his view more fully on whether or not .. he cuts her off. He thinks it is fair to say that being a born again Christian and reading scripture that he would believe that homosexuality was wrong and that is an obvious opinion. 'But there is a higher realm to that, Jesus hung out with prostitutes and sinners. He became known as a friend to prostitutes and sinners. The commandment of the scriptures is to love. My heart.. I don't even think of all these different things .. my heart just beats with love and compassion for every, single person and that's where the church has got it wrong.'
He disagrees with churches in general that take the judgmental 'we should be doing this, we shouldn't be doing that' attitude and have forgotten that God is love. This is the thing that he wanted to break coming in here as there are people with these pre-conceived perceptions that as a Born again Christian he is against X, Y and Z. Spreading a message of love was one of his motives for coming on the show and so that he could quash these unjust understandings. He turns to Corin to see if she feels that he has pre-judged her for her relationship with a woman. She doesn't and is comfortable talking to him about her partner Rachel; she's not got a problem with him whatsoever.
MARIO: (won't be worked up into an unncecessary tailspin of despair) At the end of the day I don't really care if anyone thinks my lifestyle choice is sinful or not. I'm still gonna do it.
12.40pm, for today's task HM's take part in a series of man vs machine challenges. If HM's lose their individual battle they'll become robots and will not take part in the final battle - HM's against Big Brobot.
Josie comes forward to face their unfriendly foe and is cheered on her way to the large task room. She runs in fear as she comes face to face with the metal monster. HM's have chosen Josie to take part in the first epic battle of - carpet cleaning! If man or machine completely clear their carpet of maggots first, they'll be victorious. Her roomies watch via the plasma screen TV in the lounge as she struggles through her skirmish they sing along to Titan playing a Queen track 'I want to break free.'
Poor Jose is on her hands and knees with a dustpan and brush while Titan has a super vac to suck all the wriggly critters up! Ben asks Corin if she's loving it - STUPID QUESTION of cooooourse she is and she'd be dancing! John is swept away by Josie's sweeping techniques 'that's it!' as she briskly brushes the bugs into the centre of the carpet so she can sweep them up in one fell swoop. Inevitably, Titan wins owing the triumph to the supreme suction of his hoover as he dastardly defeats her and the game is over!
BIG BROBOT: (Doubling how pathetic she already felt) Josie, you are now a robot. Put on your outfit and return to the house.
Josie cautiously creeps up to the Transformer, giggling in trepidation as she does so but turns around when Titan puckers up to blow her a kiss. She shrieks seeing that the tinman is coming for her and runs from her side of the room to the opposite, swapping over with Titan who has whizzed over to the corner she was stood stationary in.
Corin decides Josie had no chance of winning that as he had a proper big hoover! It wasn't Josie's lack of skill or a complacency that caused her loss it was the massively unfair advantage that Machine man had over her. Josie then has a writhing scuffle with her cardboard tinfoil number as she undertakes putting on her new robot suit. It is virtually impossible for her to physically dress herself in these shiny new garbs because she's unable to balance and lift her leg to pull them up while standing. About the funniest thing ever seen!
The dark specter of Titan also torments her during the process with blasts and bursts of motorised noises when she least expects them, bringing about Josie bawling out in decibels only decipherable to dogs! She was a worthy adversary for their tyrannical opponent and I don't think there is a single HM who would have been able to successfully vanquish the enemy.
His maniacal and mechanical exulting in her face (though from across the room) literally scare the robo-pants off her!! :( I wouldn't have liked to be in a room alone with that electrical beast either :(
JOSIE: (uh oh! Needs Keevs to prod around her personal, intimate space) Oh Keev! I've got a wedge!!
She turns around so Caoimhe can see for herself and she enquires of Josie 'will I pull it out?' With Josie's arms constricted in enclosed silvery sleeves her hands are not free to cut loose her cacks from up her crack. For all the assy (ha ho hee to being punny) things I say about Caoimhe, I will credit her on this one as liberating someone from a wedgie is true friendship. I wouldn't go as far as to say her blood is worth bottling though!
Caoimhe seems only too willing to lend her hand for these purposes to a robot in need. Josie thanks her for that one; Caoimhe tells her she is welcome 'any time!' Most of the HM's are in the living room. Mario has just noticed another part of Ben's character, that he expects all Mario's things to be shared with him but won't offer him 1 piece of his apple. (Ben had just seconds before held out some for Dave)
Ben tries to say that Dave asked for some but Dave negates this saying Ben offered it to him. Ben often offers Mario a tea or coffee.
MARIO: (no longer resents him for it) You're just basically at the very core of your being, a selfish person but that's okay.. I accept that about you.
If their positions were reversed, Ben would expect for Mario 'to ferret through my drawers, true?' Mario takes exception to this as he wouldn't want to wear anyone's clothes; Ben asks whether he would if he had no choice. Mario moans that it doesn't matter but Ben can't believe that he's in trouble because he didn't give him a piece of his apple. Mario protests that he hadn't said Ben was in trouble.
BEN: (doesn't sound anything like the way Mario would ever say something) No but you said (astonishingly awful American accent) "there are more and more things I'm beginning to dislike about you each day! By the end of the week I could quite possibly despise you!"
MARIO: (safe to say they won't be making friendship bracelets any time soon) I don't speak like that Ben. Nor do I pretend to put a fake Sloane Square accent on.
Ben bitches that Mario is being a b*tch today when he's done absolutely nothing wrong 'I've let you have your love-in with your robots all day, I haven't said a thing about that! I bit my tongue.' But he apologises as he hadn't meant to annoy Mario over the apple; it's not annoying Mario when Ben reveals parts of his character. I don't think either will be crying themselves to sleep over their ignorant friend.
JOSIE: (I love her just for trying) I am a robot. Do you fancy a.. ? (puckers up to John)
He comes over all shy and chuckles 'no' his face aflame (he tells Josie later in the series that he got all embarrassed when she did this) she tries to entice his tongue to 'come on' for a tasty treat! ;) John just awwww's and moves in for a cardboardy cuddle instead then teases her by moving tantalising close to her face as though he is going to kiss her .. but chickens out.
John squeezes her more tightly around the shoulders with a robot-loving embrace, crushing her cardboard costume in the process. 'What the .. it's not very strong is it?' so he lets go so as to not do any further damage.
JOSIE: (brightening his day) Look, just pretend!
He caves in and plays along by leaning his face forward to simulate an actual saccharine kiss. Though how they managed to hold back from kissing for real when their lips were millimeters apart I'll never understand!! It must have been torturous but with so many cameras zoomed in on them dying to get their first kiss recorded - that would have been very off-putting. Plus, they wouldn't have wanted to waste their first together on a jokey imitation.. that takes away how special and magical a true love's (first) kiss should be. I'm so happy they were able to share that together without it being filmed because they took cover under the doona.
Dave and Ben are in the nest talking about Mario. Ben doesn't know what's wrong with Mario; Dave has also marked that he's gone a bit weird and has weirded out 'strange man!' Ben noticed when he did an impression of Mario's accent, he'd said that he doesn't talk like that but he does!
BEN: (not ready to step back into 'best friend' shoes) He's like a mixture of Michael Jackson and some librarian woman from Ohio!!
Mr Monk has a good old chortle at Mario's expense as Ben is rattled that someone had turned on their friend because they hadn't been offered a piece of apple. He's not saying this out of bitchiness but from fact, that on the outside world he would be friends with someone like Dave even though he doesn't share some of his religious views. But he loves Dave so much as a person because he brings so much fun and joy and humour and then they get old Kenny Everett going mental as he didn't give him a piece of apple.
On a serious point, he wants to know what it was that made Mario so annoyed over this. Dave detects that Mario wants Ben to return his advances which SHOCKER Ben point blank states AIN'T gonna happen! The thing about it is, he doesn't mean to be horrible but Mario is quite boring and is not very interesting. (ad break)
Steve hopes Corin can run well; she loves Ben (as he's not a team nor sporting enthusiast) for doing this (as he'd promised her he would) as she knows it's funny and brave. Nathan hollers for Ben to get his ass out there and just as soon as he does the siren detonates. Dave, Ben, Corin, Nathan and John are in the garden as Chaserbot 3000 tears all around the garden to hunt them down while they all race around to escape the enemy.
John has hold of the mangle as a measure to thwart the villain from taking him down. It acts as a good guard for John and Nate against the onslaught from the wretched reprobate! Combat Corin climbs over the crockery so John thinks she's gone as they are supposed to stay on the ground.
JOHN: (as Chaserbot misses them by a whisker) SUCKER!!! (Death Con 2 charges back in) Sh*t!
NATHAN: (goodnaturedly ripping him) What are you doing, you coward?
Corin calls out for the Chaser to 'GET THE GUYS!!!' as it gets all Rambo speeding after the Charlie's Angel wannabe! Mario and Steve chuckle on as they watch through the kitchen windows just as Corin is nipped on the foot; her jump is not quite fast or high enough to avoid the attacker.
She is gutted to be out of the game and then the alarm blasts signalling the end of the round and Chaserbot returns to the hole it came from. The bot went out of its way to destroy them!!
JOHN: (kicking out with his foot) Get in there!!
Cozza is proper knackered! John looked like he had the most fun dashing around and ducking like a little boy in the school playground! Instead of commiserating Corin in her time of defeat, John attests that she would have been out anyway as they weren't allowed to jump on the stones. Ben gives her a consolatory hug and kiss on the cheek. They are all breathless from the running; Steve congratulates Ben on doing an excellent job with his jump!
Initially Ife fronts for Nathan and he is game for banging it out; John tries to back Benny for the task. Caoimhe asks Nathan if he likes smoothie-making but he's never really done it. She doesn't mind if he wants to do it but Ben turns it down 'no, I'm not going to do this one. I'll do the next one.' As Nathan has never really made them before he checks with Caoimhe if she wants the chance 'but I can't imagine they're that hard!'
Ben is concerned that they are pressurising Caoimhe so says 'she'll only do it if she wants to' but Caoimhe is genuinely keen to do it - so that is the decision finalised. After the klaxon blares, one HM is ordered to stand up and state which HM will take on the challenge.
JOHN: (salutes) Go on Keevs!
Keevs stands to declare that she will be doing it; Josie is applying mascara to Benjy's eyelashes. John contributes strategically that whoever they think will be good for the end final battle - probably shouldn't do a task. He emphasises that the more people they have left for it the better 'so we really wanna.. the people who aren't interested in doing the final task.. I.E - (gestures towards) BENJY are probably better off making him a robot now.' These sentiments may prove to be premature.
NATHAN: (is this supposed to be buttering him up?) Basically Ben, you don't give a (BEEPED OUT EXPLETIVE) about anything, mate. So you might as well just become a robot so you can lounge about because you're not arsed about being in a team.
Ben takes this on the chin from the ballbuster and concurs that it is true. Basically in (Nathan's) nicest terms 'you're cannon fodder!' Dave says sorry to Ben that they see it as the best way forward; Nathan adds insult to injury by jesting that they see him as a worthless commodity! Dave doesn't think there's any point them doing the tasks (implying that they will be the better opponents for the final battle); Caoimhe calls upon Ben for him to not let them speak to him like that; she senses judgment on their part. She's displeased that they are treating Ben like their whipping boy, their stooge, their doormat.
He doesn't care as he's gonna have the last laugh and asks Caoimhe to go to the bedroom with him. Dave's tickled that they'd said the best way forward was for Benny to be cannon fodder! Nathan loves the man but Ben doesn't give a sh*t whether they win this task at all. John comments that if he doesn't care then they may as well send Ben in. Away from the crowing, Caoimhe confesses to Ben that she's actually feeling really nervous around these people.
"Someone said that Ben is like a cat and that really struck me as true. Utterly self absorbed, but very happy to be friendly to anyone willing to scratch his head and pet him. Just make sure his saucer of milk is full or you'll hear him complain." (cloudberry121)
15.35pm, at the sofas Dave asks Ben which one of himself or Mario took a hammering from Caoimhe in the bedroom. He pretends that she hadn't been saying anything about Dave but had told him how tough she was finding it in there. So then Dave takes him to task over if Ben had spoken about him to which he barks back that he hadn't.
It's Game 2 in man vs machine; HM's have chosen Caoimhe to take on Titan in the second challenge - a monumental battle of smoothie making.
Roboman (who creeps the hell out of me) jolts suddenly after Caoimhe asks him how he's doing, making her jerk with the jitters. Titan is able to cheat with his state of the art Blenderbot version 3 while Caoimhe has a not up to snuff, fruit masher that won't even squish! If man or machine, prepare and serve their fruit smoothie first they'll be victorious.
There's a look of steely determination in Caoimhe's eye as she concentrates on pounding her fruit to a pulp and pulverising the creature in the contest. She still makes time to wisecrack with him 'do you have a girlfriend, do ya?' Ife is delighted that she looks set to win! Not happy that he is losing the fight, Titan strides up to Caoimhe so she steps back and moves to the other side of the table in fright.
John calls Titan out for trying to cheat and Caoimhe puts him down for not doing very well. This is not taken to kindly so Titan squirts her with water from his eyes in a last ditch attempt to circumvent her conquering him! She is soaked and squeals but not before OMG-ing that he's a little weirdo! Steve gets a great hoooo-har out of this and they spot that Titan can't pick up the remaining fruit. Now doesn't he feel silly?
Eventually Titan manages to put the lid on the blender to puree the berries which Ife doesn't feel is fair - they notice that he hasn't filled it with all the fruit. Caoimhe's smoothie doesn't look very smooth as the glass is full of chunks of mashed but unliquidised grapes but there's not much she could have done without a food processor! Titan the clutz knocks the blender to the ground and Nathan catcalls about this while crotch-scratching!!
16.29pm, in the nest Dave, John, Ben and Caoimhe make a little idle chitchat. Caoimhe asks Ben if it is very obvious that Corin gets on her t*ts. Dave hadn't noticed and it is the first he'd heard of it; John wouldn't say so but Ben believes Corin has recognised this. Though she would never say anything because she's not like that and is a proud person so wouldn't admit it 'she's got a touch of the Mario about her!' Dave questions what it is about Corin that annoys Caoimhe so much.
CAOIMHE: (this woman's gotta go) It's her voice, it's the constant singing, this constant (bleep and Ben suggests 'cheerfulness?') 'we're in a great..' playing happy families, when really we're not!
An exceedingly chirpy and cheery Corin has come to the Diary room, having cranked up the joviality of her infectious, irritating personality. She thinks she's an absolute delight and looks like a sexy Buzz Lightyear :P
CORIN: (glass shattering all over town due to the shrill nature of her voice) HelloOOOO. I am a robot, Hiya! Oh my God, like I LOVE this outfit!! Like I come before to say I love whoever picks my costumes .. like picks 'em mint like! If it's a girl, I imagine it to be a girl.. could be a guy but like.. love like what a mint like.. loving them eyelashes and them eyes like! I love them funnels that they stuck on for the boobs like when I first .. I thought 'ooh I don't fancy walking about with that all day like!' Y'know, I've got quite a square forehead as it is and I thought this is just gonna emphasise the fact! And then when I seen it and I thought (groans) never mind and when I noticed all that like - I love it!
Caoimhe guesses that she knows exactly who nominated her and that's fine but she wishes they would keep their distance for a while and wouldn't be fake with her. Yesterday, when she and John James were doing the task, Corin had been calling out for them to enjoy the ride and have a laugh 'Shut up, have a bit of sensitivity! Cos when you're being all cheerful, you're actually not being very sensitive.' She didn't want to be yelled at by a crazy clementine!
17.09pm, Big Brobot announces that in the next battle one HM will be against Titan in a cutting-edge battle of hairdressing! They do not need the 60 seconds to decide the next competitor as they had pre-assigned Benjy to come forward for it, as cannon fodder. John is quick to remind Ben that he has been enlisted 'Benjyyyy! Go on Benjy!' wanting Strawberries to come on and take one for the team. For when you decide to go to the moon, you don't send your best guy.. you start with a chimp!! :P
He seeks an answer on what he would have to do; Corin predicts that it will be cutting a doll's hair and Steve surmises that it will just be styling hair. Ife eggs him on that he can do it and he submits to their arm twisting! John winds Ben up that he's good at it 'because look at your hair! Bed hair and you wake up and it's styled!' Ben berates John for patronising him but Corin is confident that Ben will win it because he's got style.
Ben snips away with scissors at a petrified-looking Dave who winces whenever the blades come close to his scalp. Their adversary has the benefit of using the Speed Groomer mark 3.3 to chop away the locks of the mannequin head. Ben doesn't like robots and never will; Titan comes out with a cracking Ben quote in Ben's own voice 'I like foie gras and veal' and Ben repeats back that he does like this. Anything less isn't worth getting excited about!!
The loungers keep an eye on proceedings from the safety of the living room 'come on boys!' as Ben snips away, trigger happy and butchering Dave's barnet! Seeing the damage Ben is causing by hacking away at Dave's hair the onlookers gasp at his hatchet job! Dave spurs Ben on to take it all off and just 'bald me off!' A pretty yet make-up free Josie actually reckons Dave looks better now; Caoimhe agrees and Steve concurs that he looks younger.
Dapper Dave whistles while Ben works and asks how it is looking; Ben replies that it's not looking too bad. Dave jokes that if Ben does a good job, he gives generous tips. The game is over and Big Brobot broadcasts that the sequence is complete. Dave is fully satisfied and Ben laughs that it could have been worse!
Big Brobot deems that man is victorious and on seeing the bald patch shaved off the back of the mannequin's head by Titan, it is not hard to understand why! The boys and the rest of their HM's are made up with this grand slam but Brobot's reign of tyranny still rages on. A losing Titan is a cranky Titan, who keeps chanting 'Negative! Negative!' in the BB narrator accent and Ben tries to shake his hand as they exit.
20.21pm, some of the HM's are in the bedroom discussing religion. (Again!!) Caoimhe is Dixie Chick serious that she loves the French system - no child in school is allowed to wear any symbol of religion; Dave classes this as terrible (her views are a little too alternative for him). Caoimhe demands to know why this is terrible so Dave explains that if someone wants to wear a cross as a symbol of who they love and what they believe, they shouldn't be discouraged from doing that. People had laid down their lives so that the gospel could be shared on the streets and that the French people tried to totally eradicate that.
Caoimhe agrees with the French that it should be because it causes so much war, corruption and disagreements between people. Dave debates that she has the freedom right now to express her views, so shouldn't he (and his kind) be afforded the same right. She's not referring to the streets of France but mainly her opinion is that in schools education should be kept completely separate from religion. (I think she sees religion as the epicentre of all that is awful)
Mario asks Steve what it's like to become a father and hears that it's amazing but hard at first. Steve was there for the births of every single one of his children, even the ones born at home he pulled out, cut the cord and everything. He feels very, very blessed to have 8 children but being away so long and having this psychological pressure, he's realised how much more he does feel about his kids and rely on them more than he knew.
He keeps getting a vision of his little girl in the mirror (especially in the toilet one) seeing her face and little curly hair 'she's so cute it's unbelievable!' Steve's not sure if she's trying to tell him she wants him home or that he's doing well and to stick to it. Mario boosts his spirits that she'd want him to stay.
DAVE: (if he wanted to hear an asshole he'd fart!) Dude! She is probably the most strongly opinionated people in here!
Caoimhe will be in a room and she'll start something so Dave knows where it is going to end up. He tries not to get involved but he won't let it affect him so would instead walk away. Ben would still rather have the discussions with her than not because at least it takes up time and can be interesting. Dave calls this fine but tells him where it will lead - Caoimhe will bring the atmosphere of the house down and the focus will be on negatives over positives.
She'd basically said today that she dislikes Corin (whereas they both love her) and that she doesn't want there to be any facades in there even if it means that she spends her whole time there not talking to 5 people in the house. He reckons that's terrible and is not going to waste his time on negative things! Ben reiterates that Dave knows how dedicated he is to him and how much he enjoys his company. Dave does but he cannot be sat there when all that's going on so will just go and make tea.
It's not an issue with Ben but Dave doesn't want to be in those environments so he'll just pull himself away; Ben respects that. In the house, Dave determines that they all have big personalities and opinions that are quite strong but it's what you do with that.
BEN: (he puts the ASS in 'class') He'll be considered and Anti-Christ.
John joins Ife and Mario in their new hide out, the outside toilet and they sit on the floor for a chinwag. Mario asks whether he had found Ben to do the washing up.
JOHN: (Ben drives them so nuts they don't know whether to hug him or arm wrestle him) I found him but I didn't find the Ben that wanted to do the washing up! (which Dave is currently doing for him while his supposed friend slags him off to the one person he doesn't get on with)
Mario knocks their pet ape for being such a lazy arse; Ife is irked that Dave's literally always picking up the pieces for him (the way Mario felt he had in the first and second weeks) and that he finds someone to happily do it 'more fool them!' You'd think they'd be too sensible for that!
Ben likes and feels comfortable with the idea that you can disapprove of someones' way of life but still love them. Caoimhe crosses why Dave won't let them challenge him and ask questions. Ben thinks he will but that Dave needs to feel confident that she's not coming with an agenda because she's a secularist with reservations on religion in general (but in particular of the Catholic church in Ireland).
Ben drops Steve in it for being one of those which comes as news to Caoimhe. He likes Steve and can't believe he's whispering but discloses that Steve is a lot worse than Dave and more narrow-minded. One thing he finds very difficult to accept about the place is the accepted view that no one would ever nominate Steve (he's kind of.. just kind of!) because he's a war hero and for the more obvious physical things. He doesn't feel that someone should be immune from that sort of stuff and Caoimhe is totally with him on that.
Stupidly he reveals that he had thought of nominating Steve just for the snoring! Caoimhe makes no attempt to conceal his slip up, saying that she doesn't think he's supposed to say that. Ben claps his hand to his mouth and Keevil face-plants into a cushion because of his reckless gaffe. He's not genetically wired for discretion
23.40pm, Steve's as high as a kite that Nathan has given his new couch chum (one of the figurines) a swag makeover which Corin describes as 'mint!' As a charming girl, full of fire (Josie) passes by John she slugs him in the gut, startlingly which knocks the sails out of him.
JOHN: (curls over) Ugggf! You b*tch!!
Although Dave feels that every time there's a conversation going on, he has to hop in because obviously he has views. He translates what he believes as what scripture says but Caoimhe wasn't sure what he believed before and Josie doesn't know what scripture says 'that's why I asked!' Dave perceives the problem that they have is the church being seen as almost homosexual bashers when that is not the heart of God (who loves the person so much mercy triumphs over judgment).
His job as a Christian is to manifest God in such a way that people encounter God. Caoimhe wants to break down where she thinks it is hypocritical but that is why Dave doesn't talk about it because he can see that it leads onto so much stuff. Caoimhe is going to walk away now but wants them both to appreciate that they have different views but still respect each other.
CAOIMHE: (contrite) And I'm not gonna bring any negative views out of you or anything like that. Can we shake on it like.. or hug on it whatever?
Josie just has one more question that she can't not ask - if they have a lot of homosexuals come to their meetings? They've had homosexual people attend as well as witches, warlocks and all sorts of crazy people; Josie laughs when Dave mentions they'd even had a guy who had run away from prison. When she leaves the boys to it, Nathan asks with annoyance 'how's it happened again?'
NATHAN: (churlish) But what inspired that one?
Dave elucidates that during her apologising she wanted to make her strong feelings known and try to question him. Nathan sums up that Caoimhe had apologised and then tried to turn it into something else (that's the size of it) so he recommends that next time she brings up God, for him to walk away. He knows it may come across as ignorant on telly but he can't keep justifying what he believes in.
Ben is forewarned that he can hang around with Caoimhe but he will have a very negative experience and it will always come back to the same old crap. Dave wants him to beware that there's an element with him that can be quite negative which isn't his fault but it is in areas of his personality and manner. He's telling them now he's not going down this road as the atmosphere in the house has been brilliant.
DAVE: (crotchety) I used to think it was Shabby .. and Caoimhe's bonded with Shabby but Shabby's the one that's got a problem. But she's carrying exactly the same as what Shabby carried! I don't want it, mate.
Ben and Nathan agree with him, not all viewers do. "OMG DAVE shut the hell up, he has his opinions and can spew his crap to everyone, but the SECOND someone wants to say something to him on THEIR opinion he cant hack it, he cant just listen to them he has to point out he is right, when he isn't." (lindamichelle1) End of HL's.
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