Live Day 32 part 1

PSST..OI SKIPPY (James 32 video):

Funny bits missed from the HL's edit -

TREE: I must admit I've never been to Australia, but I've caught Home and Away a few times..and my Mum once got a bit friendly with an Eucalyptus tree in Brisbane! So I know what your.. your type are like!!

John is looking over his shoulder to guarantee nobody is sneaking up behind to catch him in the act.

TREE: Now listen to me! I've been a very busy tree (this is where he talks about the special arrangements he's made for John)

After learning that he must tell 11 different facts, John exclaims 'I don't know 11 different facts about Australia! They're not that important!!' T of T reveals that these should be lies and he doesn't want anything boring either 'they've gotta be proper out there, you get me?' John starts to seek further elucidation about whether he can say something but then just plays ball to tell the different Aussie non-factual facts.

TREE: Each different one, one each. But you've got to be subtle, I've been watching you Skippy and subtlety isn't your strong point! So don't let anyone think you're doing something for the Tree. (John grins broadly)

JOHN: You're one to talk Mr I-want-to-keep-a-secret-from-where-I-am-the-Tree!

Skippy is rebuked for talking back and behest not to tell anyone that he's been talking to the Tree, or about his reward if he ever gets it – at any point ever, he'll face the full wrath of the Tree of Temptation. Understand?

JOHN: No drama, man.

John takes a swig from the sink, then sits to have a think about what 11 non-factual facts he could pass off as real. 

9.05am, KEELEY: Do we not have a washing machine?

JOHN: If we do, it's well hidden.

KEELEY: Well I'll need you to find it for me!

John supports Leeds....cos his Dad did....footie talk going on....she is grilling him..now is his opportunity to lie to her... Good grief! Is she interviewing him for a job????? They discuss Ben...talking about his personality and about the tasks...John says Ben doesn't believe in team work although he is getting better..but John says apart from that he is a really good guy and he likes him.... 

JOHN: They put so much effort into making the tasks, you know?

KEELEY: Is that why... Ben doesn't..

JOHN: Yeah, I'm the one who comes down hard on him the most. 

Keeley talking about Ben and Dave hugging and kissing...she is commenting on all the love in the house claiming not to have realised this while watching the show....John agrees that Ben is huggy kissy 'so is the Monk cos of the Lord and that...' he says there isn't a lot of conflict going on in the house. He seriously expected to go last night.

John is being informative without being nasty about any of the others...

9.23am, John sweeps the floor. Keeley comments that the house is really beautiful this year. John thinks they should start the dishes rota again now that they are up to 12 housemates again. 

KEELEY: Do you have to be British to do this?

JOHN: I think you have to be in the UE. (UE, Haha!!!!)

KEELEY: Tell me more about the house, I'm loving it.

John says there is nothing to do, the tasks don't happen in a flash, they sit around for HOURS. John tells her how he decided to audition for British BB, he had to fly here 3 times. It's been good for him, everything here is a bonus, it's totally different to OZ BB as the OZ contestants were chosen for looks and are full of 'shallow fitties' rather than interesting personalities but 'people here have stories to tell.'

Keeley continues to scour the sink - it must have been minging.....she really enjoyed the auditions, she's observant and was checking everyone else out. John got quite close to his group but didn't really notice others * pauses for breath * Keeley cleans the counters

She isn't good at making main meals as she normally eats microwave pasta - they don't have a microwave in the house and John comments that it means they have to wait ages for everything. Keeley talks about flat-sharing in London, her flatmate is great and cooks for her as did the previous one - she is looked after.

John fishes to find out how much she knows about them, saying she will have heard the DR entries and how they are all waiting for the special secret to come out in week 6. Everyone targets Mario because he was the mole and John feels sorry for him; there isn't much to do except sit around and analyse things all day....

9.40am, Keeley loves to dress up in costume. John and his mum have 2 great Danes. 

People don't drive as much here as Aussies barely use public transport. Keeley asks if he is from a privileged background. I think Keeley is treading on a few toes by being assertive and head-strong in a tight-knit established community. 

WHY ARE YOU THANKING ME LOBEY (James 32 video):

John is telling Dave (I THINK!) that he hadn't heard anything last night so they didn't let him down; Josie checks with Keeley as she changes in bed if it is hot outside - it is lovely!! John elaborates that it is alright but cloudy as Caoimhe excuses the state of herself; Josie smiles as she lays down beside John. 

JOHN: Well I didn't make the weather. Why are you thanking me? Why are you thanking me Lobey? (sticks his finger in her ear and she hides under the duvet) Aww (throws his arm around her tightly, speaking in a cutie wutie baby voice with such affection) what's wrong? (she tugs away so he teases) Showing me right up! Showing me right up!

JOSIE: Oh sorry. (cuddles back against him but still under the doona) (SC)

Cuts away to an empty living room before quickly returning to John yawning, that he'll wait for the new towels to come before having his shower. 

He could already tell that something was getting Josie down and this is why he was making a concerted effort to be with her.. to let her know all these fears were unfounded. At that point she had no reason to doubt him because he'd been loving and devoted to her since the very start .. it would have taken a hell of a lot more than some floozy coming in to destroy what they had. In fact, I am now coming to the conclusion that it was only they who were capable of wrecking of their relationship and that's exactly what they ended up doing. Sure other factors and various hateful stirrers contributed too but all of that - they could have survived.. if they'd really wanted to.. 

It made me mad later this day that John had been so sweet and so accommodating to Jose ..(most likely as he was already hopelessly irretrievably in love with her) for her to throw it all back in his face .. then we had to watch them both so unspeakably sad. All of that could have been fixed so much sooner than it was - it would have just taken a kiss or a cuddle. His hands always had a kind of tenderness when they met with Josie so it's a shame that he didn't take this tactile action with her sooner. But she made that near impossible for him as although she was hurting, she didn't need to take it so irrationally far. 

DOES SHE THINK YOU'RE A JUKEBOX? (James 32 video):

John is giggling with Andrew over how the shower gets icy (as Andrew has just had his very first one in the BB house) then he calls someone a lickar*e in Josie's accent. (SC) They are having some minor dispute seemingly about John spending time with Keeley just before but the SC's predominate making it hard to follow the convo. Josie jokes for him to get on with his (SC) though I'm tipping the next words out of her mouth would have been 'new Sheila' since he rolls his eyes but dishevels her hair and pulls her closer towards him. She can sense his fondness for her really; even the blind could discern how greatly he dotes upon her. 

JOHN: (laughs after scrunching his eyes and then moving nearer to Josie repeating her) 'I knew this would happen.' 

JOSIE: (her pity party is in full swing) Why would you want the scarecrow when you've got Barbie? (referring to Keeley) 

He relays back his anecdotes to her about his chat with the pocket rocket and how she had scornfully asserted that she hadn't noticed him in the auditions in a 'You're nothing! Who are you?' way. Just as well because he didn't notice her either; he's really ripping her off a strip!! BB asks HM's to ensure they are wearing their mics at all times which is handy as Josie's voice was too muffled. John continues that Keeley is raring to go, don't worry about that and she'd kept insisting that he tells her some more about his life. 

John had filled Keeley in that nothing happens there, Bob Righter's done about 3 things, the Bird doesn't talk, did a few tasks - what more did she want to know? He'd found this hilariously amusing and answered that he was guessing she knew more about the show than he did as she'd have seen what people said in the Diary room. Josie hadn't known what to say when Keeley demanded that she make her laugh. 

JOHN: Is that what she said, to you? 'Come over here and make me laugh!' Does she think you're a jukebox? I'll just select my songs.. um Josie what are we doing today? Joke number 553!! 

He lets Jose know that Keeley is interested in Benny and how he doesn't do tasks or dishes and how he will be doing them. John doubts it as Ben will be lying in the sun; Keeley was flabberghasted that nobody told him what to do, though they had and are just ignored. But John is up for a bit of a laugh and wants notifying when she is going to boss Ben around. Ben had already let hate for her into his heart and been flapping around already going up to John the previous night alerting that Keeley is a b*tch from hell! 

Ben had also questioned Johnny if he liked her; Josie thinks John has met his match. John explains how Keeley is bossy in areas that he couldn't care less about at all like in the kitchen - so she can do whatever she wants with it. This is where he cuddles her to death as shown on HL's when she pretends that she won't be hurt if he runs off with Keeley, when really she's feeling threatened by her presence. 

Andy comes along to crash the pillow party and John reveals that he'd been asked what he thought about all the new intruders in the Diary room. To him it was unexpectedly comical how Keels hadn't even got her helmet off, had been there 5 minutes literally and was already telling Benny he needed a haircut, John that he should change his attitude and how the house needed tidying up. 'And Jose are you gonna sing me a few songs or.. tell me a few jokes and make me laugh or what?' while he'd just been sitting there trying to work out what was going on and who that person is. They'd all been open-mouthed in the lounge room thinking that they were fine before and really good before this person barged into their home. 

John's impression of Keeley is complete with frantic blinking as he recites how she had 'fessed up to being really bossy around the kitchen and that's how she is. John agrees that he is a bit scared as he was sat in there and she was showing him dance moves and giving him all the details about her dating phases. He carries on babbling about how Keeley had spoken when touting that people don't take her seriously in her travel agent managerial role and ask 'where's that little girl?' 

JOSIE: (shout out to his soul sister) Oh my God, you two are like a perfect match! 

John had told BB not to start, knowing exactly what they were doing when they asked what he thought of Keeley. 'Here throw in a female Johnny and see what happens!' 

JOSIE: But she's ever so much like you. 

John realised that when Keeley had expressed how competitive she is and he can see it coming that he'll be one team captain and she'll be the other. Although Mario had been hoping Andrew was gay he's really happy as they share loads in common.

Keeley wasn't his favourite person or 2nd or 3rd for that matter either, nor anyone elses'! They should have rummaged in the kitchen for some sugar cubes for that high horse of hers :D Her words had really cut Ben.. but not like a knife because she's so dull!! The housemates were not used to people being this forthcoming with them, so there was not a lot of sisterly love that could be sensed in the room for her. So what if she thought she was amazing and wonderful? Nobody else did, least of all John so for Josie to believe that he could was lunacy!

I don't agree that this little woman did have a great deal in common with John.. the odds of them ever being a 'them' were teeny tiny, even if Keeley had come in single. And why? Because his heart already belonged to another.. so if he'd ever gone there with Keeley, it would only have happened if John was having some sort of psychotic episode. 

I FELT REALLY IMPORTANT (James 32 video):

John is letting Josie in on how he had felt really important when Keeley was asking him lots of questions just before; she is cosying up to him, her face buried. She whispers to him and his laugh tinkles before stroking her head reassuringly. Keeley complains about the nocturnal noises comparing the bedroom to being like one of those wildlife programmes; some of the lads humour her and laugh along at her snorty imitations as if it were a very amusing pun.. but as she makes her way out, John sounds out a sarcastic snigger. 

He rolls his eyes upwards that the kitchen is spotless after Keeley has been at it, then makes fun of Josie's desire to up her game but AFTER a cigarette or she might just have a sleep! 'You just wait, Keeley I'm coming.. maybe a little bit later though' (!) and shoves his thumb in his mouth a la Jose. She thinks it is so funny that John has a reputation for crying on TV (little did she know he'd be doing so again in less than 24 hours time!) 

JOHN: (ironical) Oh it's real funny innit? Everybody, let's laugh at me! Realllllll funny (!) 

Rachel had gone up to him in a Marcus Bentley voice saying 'Day 1 in the Big Brother house, John James is throwing a hissy fit!' (SC) Josie had asked John if he was laughing and then one of the new girls had needled 'are you crying? Are you crying?' He is under the impression that they are under the impression that he must cry every 5 minutes. Keeley has returned to find out their knicker changing techniques; she hasn't even been for a wee yet. 

John wants to know if she's allowed to talk about who she knew on Coronation Street but she decides she's probably not, as she dated one of the actors. He follows it up with a question on whether she's ever done any modelling or anything like that, Keeley hasn't. Stupid Keeley! It's all Keeley's fault. I've decided I'm going to lay the blame at her feet and cast aspersions on her because of it. If it weren't for her entering and tyrannising, my honey bears would never have had trouble in paradise that evening. So in effect, she was a human wrecking ball (and though I wouldn't wish injury or harm on anybody) and it was for the best that she left when she had the ankle twisting accident. 

Though hearing John say it made him feel important having Keeley converse with him, probably didn't do any favours for her already rapidly shrinking confidence. Her energy was doused, just by having this louse in their house! I don't believe that Keeley went in with the intent of knowing their was this bond developing between John and Josie and hell-bent on breaking up the happy couple (not that they were then a couple) but she also didn't go out of her way to make it plain to Josie that she had no interest in John. 

JOHN JAMES IS THROWING A HISSY FIT AGAIN (James 32 video) :

JOHN: 'Day 1 in the Big Brother house and John James is throwing a hissy fit.. again.' 

Josie cuts in to defend how John (who is gazing at her adoringly) has gotten better and realised about himself now; he has a bit of a Beavis and Butthead laugh going on that Josie is gonna take credit for it too. She jokes along that she's taught him a thing or two and how he's no longer that argumentative Australian (SC and cut to Caoimhe alone in the garden). 

JOHN: (impersonating Josie) 'Whooo do you fink you are? Coming in here? You've been in 'ere for 5 minutes, you're a 10 minute wonder and you think you can start bossing Jose around??! Well have I got news for you.' What was your name again? 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!' 

Pointing at Ben, he feels that Ben will have to worry about 'it' the most. Josie was in part responsible for John pressing pause on his pugnacious side because she was a calming influence on him. Being with her made him better.. Also, his feelings had begun to grow beyond friendship and he didn't want anything to jeopardise a future romantic relationship between them. So H'OBVIOUSLY he was not about to let a 4 ft nothing nincompoop that he didn't want to get naked with, put their rapport at risk. 

FROM WHATM:

10.02am, John telling Ben that Keeley knows he doesn't like the tasks, Ben looks perplexed. John says 'don't worry I told her you were a good bloke.' Ben asks John if he likes Keeley, John can't tell in such a short time.

LIE FOR TOT - John was an extra in Home and Away.

Several HMs practice saying 'rack off' in a Australian accent.

10.19am, John in the bedroom now asking Andrew about meeting Rachel and Keeley before coming in... they got to spend a day together to get to know each other. Andrew says they are really really nice.

JOHN (to Josie about Keeley): She's so small and fast... dadadada... dadadada...I really like her, but like at the moment... It's nothing personal...

Then tells Keeley that Josie tries to get him to talk in a Bristol accent all the time; he feels like he's 're-entered' the house again and like it is starting over again with the new Hms but still misses Govan!............and "Shabs."

10.34am, Josie wants alcohol tonight; John says they've no food.

10.44am, Josie is out of bed for a smoke... John is doing tricep dips in the garden... Ife tells Josie to keep the place tidy... Ife and John discuss Keeley's bossiness, she's making herself an easy target for noms when eligible. Ife thinks the way Keeley is behaving is a task... John disagrees believing this is the way she really is, then begins press ups. Steve now also saying to John that he thinks Keeley is on a task or that she's nosy.

JOHN: I love Andrew...he's alright isn't he?

John is surprised they put Keeley in as she's in a relationship (but she wasn't in one 5 weeks prior to BB); he thought they'd put in a single girl. Mario asks if she's his type but John is not into bossy girls like that.

JOHN: Well I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where there's someone else.

Ife asks Josie why she's egging Keeley on; Jose thinks it's funny. John had asked Keeley if she really wants to be called the Baroness; she DOES so John replied 'ok then..'

11am, Josie imitating John in an Australian accent: "In all fairness, if she wants to go, I'll go but I'm a bit scared!".Meanwhile he is imitating Keeley in the bathroom (to Ben and Dave): "I date footballers and DJ's and obviously people don't think I'm 31, how old do I look how old do I look? And people don't take me very seriously, and where's that pretty girl, where's that pretty girl!"."I don't just date footballers, I date rugby players, DJ's, all genres, I'm 31 I don't look my age do I, how old do I look? People don't take me seriously, they say 'oh where's that little pretty girl? I just love dating, its what I do, I'm 31...."

BEN: They've brought the anti-Christ into our midst!

JOHN: If she can't hack it, she will be getting her jacket! (cos he wont be putting up with somebody whose been there 5 minutes telling him what to do)

Ben says despite their squabbles they all know each other and feel comfortable around each other. Poor benny wenny is feeling a bit displaced now there are newbies....lets hope he is able to control his.... erm...forthright way of expressing himself over and over and over and over....was that too many overs then....

11.17am, Mario teasing Josie with Andrew, saying that she is a spider with a massive web, 'Watch that she doesn't pull you in. Just like her many previous husbands.' John apologises to Corin for yesterday saying he was well out of order. Corin accepts and says not to worry about it etc.

JOSIE: I LOVE Andrew! (Caoimhe thinks he's a bit nervous) He's SO sweet, I love him!

They laugh about battle of the housewife - Josie gives up, there's no way she can compete with that. It's been observed that Ife isn't happy. Josie finds Keeley very sexy and thinks she's out of the running (with John now) but Caoimhe knocks Keeley for having a big arse, then agrees that it is sexy. Kiev doesn’t think John is interested.

JOSIE: (won't be convinced) I haven’t seen John do his hair in a month! She's perfect!

CAOIMHE: Andrew keeps looking at all of our boobs.

11.26am, John comes over so Josie enquires "how's you and wonder woman coming on?” telling him she can't compete with that. John gives her the winning formula 'it's pretty easy you just shut your gob!' He harps on about K dating "celebs"......and is winding up for a confrontation...Queeva and John won't be bossed around!!

11.33am, Keeley continues her charm offensive with Steve "There are certain people that attract attention in a room full of people - I think I am one of them. I've got charisma and charm."

While JJJK discuss her having a Nikki Grahame vibe and Josie brings up Keeley's perfect stomach. John asks if she had seen her in the shower.

JOSIE: No, I'm not a perve. There is a new Barbie in town! .. The only thing I struggle with is when Keeley says: 'Jose, come over here and make me laugh'

Keeley has quite a lot of front doesn't she? No social subtlety at all. John found the funniest thing was when she'd told Ben he needed a haircut, but is surprised she hadn't said Josie'S roots need doing. "It's a wonder she didn't have a go at your roots Jose."

12.10pm, ToT tells John what he's arranged for him but has to shut up as Josie walks in to brush her teeth.

ToT: Stop shouting for a start....'cos you'll get found out.

JOHN: She is not scared is she?

JOSIE: Have you met your match?

John doesn't think she's out to get him. The Tree gives John 1 extra hour and tells him he doesn't have to do it one on one but he needs to direct the lies to one person in the group.. 'understand that, thick boy?'

Josie comes in again!! Tree didn't realise he was dealing with someone with such low intelligence.

ToT: Oh shut up life's not easy. Now go and do it you flaming galah.

Hahaha John asks ToT for ideas. ToT tells him to get out or people will suss, he's hanging around like a bad smell.

12.22pm, John sits on Mario in the deck chair and Mars has his arm round him, touching heads. John lies that they have pet kangaroos and wombats. The chat turns to Steve Irwin so John fibs that he's been with one of the girls from the movie 'a dingo ate my baby.'

Other LIES: Ayres rock, camping, had to dress up as girls (sc) chased something, then saw him walking round the village with his clothes on....sounds like an aborigine tale..... and fell down Ayers Rock. Swimmer Thorpe lived in his street.

12.43pm, Josie confirms that they get lots of bogies in the BB house. Not sure whether she sees this as a good thing, but she says her best bits will be all about bogies. Rachel compares it to staying at your fella's for the first time and needing to let one out; Josie lived with her bloke for four years and never had a dump when he was there.

JOHN: Australia is the fattest nation in the world. They just eat McDonalds. (around the mangle with Ben Dave and Steve - he needs to move over to the others but tries again) Most of their women are no good – loudmouths.

He walks into bathroom moaning that this is way too hard. 'Come on leaves are you there? "Hurry up... do you think I've got all day or something?" Tree won't talk but John wants to clarify how many lies he has managed thus far. Tree berates him as he is supposed to keep count, before telling John he hates him.. that he has another half hour and that he liked the Ayers Rock story. John doesn’t want ToT to call him Skippy or he'll set fire to it. ToT at one point threatened to come out of the chest of drawers and do the task for him. John didn't want him to do that as he probably smells.

ToT: I've been in this bathroom for about 5 weeks and I can tell you...you lot stink.

ANOTHER LIE: John pretends he kissed Danni Minogue once. He really likes her - and tried to get a “cheeky tongue" in but it wasn't happening! Says something about his mum feeding wild dingos.

Ben likes that Australians like to laugh. John saying the ratio of women to men is "like 78%or something" John makes out that he may be related to Dolly Parton as his Dad has spoken to Dolly Partons manager. Ben loves that John was an extra on Home and Away... Ben was a big fan of the programme! LOL at Ife really buying into it "oh I remember you in that episode." John also tells a porky that he met Leah from Home and Away because she is his mate Harry's cousin. Ben says she is pretty. Oh and his Mum used to own a house on Ramsey Street; Ife falls for this too believing it would have gone up lots in value.

JOHN: Yeah that's why we sold it. (Then goes into detail about how you have to vacate at short notice but you get a security van there too)

FURTHER FIBS: John sang at the Great Barrier Reef and played the flute to thousands of people at the Sydney Oprah House.

1.15pm, John just walked head first into the bathroom door, bashing it ROFL!! Muttering to himself in the bedroom "I must've told 11 lies by now... think I've told about 15" Caoimhe is on toilet watch for Josie. John goes back outside telling more fibs.

ANOTHER LIE - the Arse Cleaner thing (BIDET) was invented in Australia - probably for the queen, discussing the cameras in the toilets.

John telling Andrew you can play with the cameras getting them to try following the Hm's.

E4 LIVE FEED STARTS - 

Dave debates Godly matters with Rachel 2 enlightening her that God made him a new creation and now goodness is inside him because he's got a new nature (God's nature 'which is love and peace and joy'.) Rachel is always searching and wonders which religion will suit her best; as far as Monk is concerned there's only one relationship with Jesus 'he is beautiful, he will ravage you with His love.' 

JOHN: That's all he talks about; the Lord and that.

John isn't religious whatsoever but is massively interested in what Dave's got to say, when he talks about the glory. Dave and Rachel mithering on about the concept of heaven; she doesn't believe that everyone is floating around with wings going 'wooo! We're in heaven!' but that it is energy. Keeley is afraid that she'll offend him by asking questions but he avers she never will as he loves answering them. She's not as charmed by his preachings as Rach. 

Josie can be heard in the background asking Andrew how he's doing and if he's taking it all in. Meanwhile, John is told by Splinter face that he has passed his Aussie task and he is tingling with elation from top to toe.  

JOHN: Aww you are.. thank you so much.

ToT: Stop getting soppy! I don't like sentimental people. 

The rest is what was shown on HL's, he comes into the living room asking Stevo if he's had breakfast yet. Davey is still speaking about how his mind is blown when he encounters God and sees it confirmed in scripture. Johnny comes out to the garden to sit at the smoker's bench with the Bristolian he is BONKERS for! In a moment that is beyond lovely, he puts an arm around her face, tugging her tighter and she pecks him on the back of his neck. 

JOHN: (as happy as can be) Did you just kiss me? Did ya? (she nods) You're a big fan, aren't ya? (she signals in the affirmative) Awwww..

They are nothing but shining smiles as he pulls her towards him again (SC) 'I love my Jose' and sits admiring her with a look of love. And all before this poor, sweet man's heart is torn out of his chest cavity. 

“I like the affection John and Josie show towards each other without all the kissy klissy stuff.” (Busby2000)

“It's sweet, comes across as much more genuine than those who drape all over one another.” (Reddress)

“They also drape over one another a lot. I do actually think its genuine though.” (Stupid_Head)

"This is what I couldn't understand about crab eyes day, cause fair enough she called him it in front of Keeley in the morning when they were doing impressions of each other but he laughed at that and then went through the day like everything was fine between them. It was only after he got his video call home that he started to react about her calling him it and snapped at her!! I know it wound him up later on that she wouldn't admit that she called him it but it seemed weird that he went nearly the whole day till he brought it up!! I could've missed a bit though??" (Ciaragumqueen) 

"John was fine all that day till just after his video call. I wonder if seeing all his friends and family made him realise what he would have to give up to be with Josie. Maybe he picked the argument on purpose to try and distance himself from her but it all backfired and he realised he was in love with her and as he later said it hit him like a ton of bricks. Just a theory." (Jackie McGlynn)

I believe this was one of my first squeeeeee's of the series when watching it; it was just so naturally beautiful that it really resonated my heart. And the two of them are still occupants in a chamber of mi corazon.. I'm too much of a stubborn, old coot to let them out. Viewing it all really was like a fairy tale come to life so even though it ended nigh on 3 years ago between this little prince and princess.. I can't help but feel that neither have had their happy ending just yet. And by that, I don't mean that it looks like they'll be living happily ever after together, someday.. 

John observes that the house is so loud now when it once was quiet but it's good to have people talking. Hooray Henry, Steve is let in the Diary room and intends to camp in there. Dave is still relaying his delusions to Pagan-interested Rachel about how very, very real the spirit realm is and that even witches, warlocks and tree huggers would say the same. Rachel wishes she could believe everything the scriptures teach but does in reincarnation and spells. 

It sounds like John is chatting with Ife about The Jerry Springer show and how if he and her were in a relationship, she wouldn't just rock up to appear on it, she'd want to know why beforehand. (Lots of SC's) and their convo switches to the British version with The Jeremy Kyle show; he adds that it is good to watch but you feel sorry for the people on it. (ad break) 

Ife is wiffering on to John, about an episode of Criminal Minds where an orphan girl found a hut at the back of a playground and men kept getting killed. (Long SC) The child was born so that she could never grow up but her mind did and the supernatural shizz keeps spouting out of the Wiz. To Rachel, God is energy; to Dave He is life and holds everything together. He has been transported physically and had these realms opened up to him; it sounds a bit mad and Rachel wants to see it. She's a believer, giving mobile phones as an example of things that were created from things that already existed and that it doesn't make it any less of a miracle. 'Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not working. There's miracles in everything.' 

On medical grounds, BB is allowing Steve to have hair clippers because he is really hot and doesn't have enough flesh to cool down. Ife wishes she had waited before shaving all her hair off now, John tells Ifster it's good and that it's growing already so will be back in a week. She liked it when there was at least a layer of hair. Josie is laying in the sun with Ben, singing some song as she wiggles her arms and legs. 

Scientists from Harvard wanted to measure different brainwaves when Sloshfest attendees are in a trance to see what's going on. Rachel doesn't agree with a God who would not allow gay people to enter heaven but would grant entry to a paedo who has repented. Sometimes Dave will cry for hours as the capacity of God's love overwhelms him; Rachel wants to get onto it and has felt a little but hasn't found the way to do it yet as she doesn't want to be one-minded.

Josie wants Ben to teach her keys of music as she doesn't understand them. When Dave was born again, people were blown away as he had not gone a day without drugs and then was completely transformed and had a new heart overnight. I love her take on the Adam and Eve story 'because someone ate an apple? Are you messin'?' she'd like to believe in it but she can't even though Dave can 'prove' it to her with scripture. She's coming round to thinking that Jesus was just a really great person but not the son of God. 

The song 'he ain't heavy, he's my brother' always touched Josie and she shares this with Ben and the beautiful origin story of the song. Ben flatters her that she has a really good voice and she should do something with it. 

JOSIE: No, I haven't!

BEN: You're better at singing classical than pop interestingly. You've got more of a classical voice. 

Rachel thinks it sounds like she needs to go to Israel as in Liverpool there's a road with a mosque, synagogue and a church 'THAT'S my God. That's my God.' She wants to learn about it and do it all; Dave can't believe the Lord brought her in there but she believes it was her Grandad that did as a psychic told her he was her guide. She wants to know what Dave makes of Derek Acorah as he's dead angry and doesn't seem to ever meet a nice spirit. 

Jose is filling in Corin and Ben how she'd taken a photo and accidentally got a bloke in shot, the psycho went mental and smashed up her camera. Corin's not joking they're gonna get brown today; Josie's darby is! Josie can't believe the ages of Keeley and Rachel as they look so young; it's a good feeling for Corin no longer being the oldest girl in the house. Dave de-robes and joins the sun loungers as Josie tells them about her favourite act at Glastonbury (think it is Rolf Harris and how he'd explained the story of the disabled boy in Vietnam War) .. even though Oasis was there. Ben knows a nice jazz version of a song that he bets Josie would like. 

John was not expecting it at all when his name was called on Launch Night and felt like his reaction was in slow-mo but thinks it must have been insane to get called up as a new HM. (SC) Keeley reckons she was a substitute for someone else as she was called so late on. Exciting stuff! John asks if they got to see any of the crowd and is outraged that a few yobs shouted a bit of abuse at Rachel so she'd danced up to them. As everyone else they came across seemed to know them and were wishing them luck. They thought these people had been part of the production team but they'd been really rude. To protect their identities they had to walk around with the moon boots and space helmets on and normal clothes. Sometimes they even had to duck behind skips!

JOHN: Ah, you'd have felt well important doing that stuff!

The trio were so glad they had each other to come in with; Rach and Andrew had sorted Keeley's head out the day before as she was worrying. They are eventually reminded not to talk about the entry process or production staff which Rach swiftly points the finger at Andrew!! John starts to ask if they'd seen how they were chased by remote controlled cars through the back yard as part of the robot task. He thanks God that he didn't have to wear the costume as he and Caoimhe escaped; he appreciates the massive effort BB put in to the tasks even if they don't always enjoy them.

John reveals that when they were able to watch the World Cup game that England lost, the others laughed it off but he and Stevo were depressed but is glad he wasn't on the outside to face it. He's not sure if the German BB HM's got to see it as they were rewarded with a screening as they won the penalty shoot out. Rachel was getting pure evils as she was shopping in Wilkinsons when the match was on asking 'how much is this kettle, love?' as the whole place was dead. They work out that the tournament could be over by now and realise the final is tomorrow. 

He sneakily tries to suss out his wonderings if it is between Brazil and Spain; Rachel pretends it is Algeria and John winks for her to lift her left leg up if.. She boasts that she was in Greece for the Euro and there was a carnival atmosphere; she was so glad to be there. But the next year she got well sick of it as she wanted England to do something she could be proud of. John knows a country is out as they'd have been the fixture before the England vs Germany game and that's all he cared about.

Josie relates to Ben how her Mum and Auntie used to take her on holidays in their horse drawn caravan/cart. They traveled all around the UK (mainly Somerset) in the summer for about 3 months and were on the radio and everything; Ben wows that they are so lucky! One of her first childhood memories is washing in the river at Appleby right next to a horse. She exclaims that it is wicked and has been running since the beginning of time; Dave describes it as basically like a gypsy horse fair. 

Her Mum wheels and deals with horses and would have gone to the fair when Josie first went in the house. While squeezing the spots on Ben's back she explains how her Mum lives in a caravan on a site with her new bloke but can't travel much at the moment with the kids in school. Mandy is not like an Irish traveler but went out with one for 10 years. 

Rachel reckons Andrew will get loads of girls after him now; John asks how long he's been single for and is surprised with the answer 'all my life.' 

JOHN: That's probably not a bad thing. You're not missing out on much. 

Andrew returns the question and is told that John is currently single and the last time he had a girlfriend was when he was 21 and how he'll turn 25 in August so is a Virgo. Andy is concerned that John had a bad experience but John admits he was just being sarcastic 'they're not alllll bad.. just most of 'em.. nah they're alright.' If Rachel was to be with someone the main thing she'd like to be is secure and how she could be with a nice footballer that loves her .. but sex and love is different. 

She'd rather be with someone who cares about her as she was kinda not believing in love when she was having her little mid-life crisis. Andrew doesn't think she could have had a mid-life crisis at only 29 as it's more like a third-life crisis. Rachel needed to do something like BB and doesn't feel ready enough to hit thirty! Rachel doesn't want to be that older woman in the club doing the side step but John compliments that she could easily pass for 22/23. 

John's comments to Andrew about girls and relationships are interesting.. but I think he was maybe being blase so as to make Andy feel better about his lack of experience with the opposite sex. It must have come as a surprise to him realising that he was going to fall in love with his closest friend in the house. Going onto BB, I bet this was the last thing he ever expected would happen during his time on the show. Which could be why he tried so ardently to resist the chemistry that was building up and instead deny it. Until he couldn't any longer and thought he may as well just cut the charade as the entire UK population had long known what it took him some time to catch on to. 

"John wanted to make the newbies welcome and chatted to them a lot and I think Josie felt a little put out because some new fit girls came in. She didn't trust him yet, and felt he was using her until another Sheila came on the scene. Little did she realise they meant nothing." (jjjjenny) 

3pm, Josie asks Andrew if he was looking at her boobies;Caoimhe says she saw him looking at a few boobies too. John says that BB had to prepare him for the booing because they don't do it at all in Australia. LMAO they're all doing John impressions. Ife thinks that Keeley has come in "being real.” John and Dave think she's said inappropriate things to people, they and Ife are in the pool..Dave is being his usual loving self & not bitching about anyone (except for the newbies that is - in particular Keeley) Dave thinks she lacks a little wisdom. John thinks it's funny how everyone tells him thinking he's going to rant about it. 

IT'S NOT ME IT'S YOU (James 32 video):

Because of comments Keeley has made Dave thinks BB must have made a big deal off the back off Ben not doing his exercise task. There is 50% of Ben that Ife can't stand and 50 that she absolutely loves but she doesn't understand how he couldn't want to be a team player. Even his best mate Dave had told Benno that he didn't understand but is trying to; it's difficult as Ben's thinking is completely out of his box. John moves to the edge of the spa as Josie has come out to the garden; he provides her with an uber cheesy grin and asks her what she's doing as he saw her just give him '*that* look!' 

I can't be sure as Ife and Dave are gassing so garishly but it sounds as though John is trying to entice her into the pool but she declines with a 'nah' so he has to know what she is doing. (SC) He assures her that something looks fine (presumably her hair) the mere sight of her is enough to have him licking his lip. She is feeling shaky and unassured because the new 'uns all look really good and not even Mr Wonderful could say anything to her to totally cure this affliction of hers.. not even fixing her flip flop! Maybe she just needed one of his soothing hugs? 

It had crossed Ife's mind that Ben's entire character is a wind up; Dave and John attempt to persuade Andyyy to come in with them as it is pretty warm. I think Josie's offer is more attractive to a 19 year old male raging with hormones 'or you can sit over here with me?' Ife saw the way she was looking and tells her to stop with the 'come-to-bed-eyes!' 

John is tickled pink that Andrew passes up because he doesn't smoke so clearly he doesn't want to be around the smell and admits he wouldn't kiss a smoker. Ife jokes that Josie is out of luck and will have to use mouth wash; Josie can't believe he's just turned her down on live TV. 

JOHN: He showed you right up! Who do you think you arrrrre? 

IFE: Josie it's not you, it's him. 

Josie loves that line 'it's not me, it's you' she clarifies whether Andrew is joking that he wouldn't ever kiss a smoker; he's not. 

JOHN: I probably wouldn't either. 

JOSIE: (failed at schmoozing the good men of the BB house) I give up..

John has only ever kissed one; Josie counters what he's on about as he's a smoker himself now as he's taken a few puffs of hers. Supposedly smokers aren't very popular in Australia; Ife orders him not to generalise them. 

JOHN: Oh I'll be generalising! Don't worry about that. 

He has no problem with smokers and nothing against them but doesn't think he would kiss one.. then changes his mind instantly 'nah I probably would' but he doesn't really like kissing ash trays! 

"Aww as soon as Josie walked anywhere near :) JOSE! JOSE!" (redladybug91) 

Well well well, Johnny James you certainly didn't stick to this adamant non-smoker kissing attitude of yours, did you?? ;) Only a short sixteen days later, you were soon sharing the sweetest of kisses with your sweetheart! And it was obvious to all, that you were a trillion times happier when around Josie than when you were not and this made you more handsome, sweet and understanding. I'm confident that much of this was due to regularly kissing and showing (what some deemed far too much) affection for your new Missus! 

Once the kisses came, I often felt like I was watching an old fashioned romance movie.. one that I still like to view when the mood takes me.. and to this day it never fails to make me all squishy inside. Too bad, so sad they couldn't see it.. 

In between this video and James' next clip, Josie cheekily flirts to John that 'the best time to get me is at night' for a bit of a smooch ;) An offer he took up on Fire exit day! Andrew pretending he knows nothing while John describes the tobacco 'hatgate' episode and asking little naive questions like 'is that the non smokers who had to give up things?' 'do the non smokers get treats then?' John and Ife say Josie's eyes are piercing.

JOSIE (to John) : You got your bossy mare and I got Andrew!

ANDEW: I dunno who won there...

Josie flirting with Andrew; Andrew tells Josie that she seems alright on first impressions - he blushes & shucks as Josie returns the compliment.

AND HER NAME IS LOBEY LOBES WHOO HOO (James 32 video):

This commences with John sing-songing the title of vid to his Josieee he wolf whistles and then wants to tell her one thing that did annoy him. He imitates the Seahorse screech 'WOWWWWWW!' Jose wants to know what he means as that is her saying; John continues to groan that it is annoying as hell. She checks if it was when she did it but he clarifies that it's not too bad from her but everyyy time the girls did themselves up or something it was said by Nathan. 

IFE: But it made us feel good. 

JOHN: Oh did it?! 

The sounds of the insufferable tool made his ears hurt (you and me both, buddy!); Josie details how it is her little thing that she and her mates do (SC) John thinks his method of complimenting a woman is better and/preferable as he just gives it a 'looking good, If!' Ife dismisses this as he never says that unless he has cut her hair; now Josie has finished her ciggie Andrew has seated himself next to her and they have a giggle. John feels that he dishes proper compliments in favour of the shudder-inducing WOW! 

Josie flatters Andrew for being a real smoothie on the quiet, not happy that her attention has moved on to another bloke John brings up how she excited she gets every time a little alcohol is supplied. He's going to stop sitting next to her in those times because he can't deal with her shrieks no more 'WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!' 

JOSIE: (she's gonna have a cow) Do you know what John James, why don't you jog on? I've got Andrew now anyway like.. 

John is 'pleased' that he can put up with her loud screams instead of him; she makes out that now he has his new Sheila she's like a bit of washing left out to dry and now she's starting to annoy him. John chuckles as he's not said once that Josie annoys him and hasn't spoken to bossy boots. 

JOSIE: You have! We've got a new Sheila in the house and now suddenly I've started to annoy you. 

JOHN: (comes closer to where she is sat poolside) Awwww, I didn't say you Josie. If we got alcohol like proper alcohol (laughs like a girl as she squirts citric acid from an orange in her eye) Citric acid in your eye!!!

He could be understanding if they got a lottttt but he hates getting excited for nothing; he's like 'settle down, Jose' when they get a bottle of wine and 2 sips of beer. 

JOSIE: Well what do you get excited about, John James? You get excited about having an argument!

JOHN: (isn't he delightfully hilarious?) Yeah they're pretty good but I'm not gonna chuck in a 'WOW' in the middle of .. yeah proper alcohol but you get excited about alcohol it's nothin' .. (taps into his inner Josie) It's nothiiiiin'! (SC) I've not even spoken to her since they've been here, so don't give me that! (SC) Go and organise our dinner!

Josie would rather he go and ask BB for it so he questions what she wants him to say 'I want a romantic night .. she's gonna struggle getting back into that robot gear. I really fancy Josie in a robot outfit!' If he does that she's gonna merk him or kill him, John is highly amused that she'd walk in for their meal robotically droning 'warning, warning, warning!' That was the saddest Ife has seen Josie when she was forced to wear that cardboard crap. 

I can appreciate her crushing insecurities but it really was ridiculous for her to keep on with this new Sheila crap. How could John staring all mooney-eyed at her on a daily basis have completely passed her by? She truly was oblivious when it came to matters of the heart. I suspect these very self-doubts continued to creep into their relationship on the outside too, crippling it.. and that it was a constant sore spot for Josie and her anxiety. 

 “I think that she is sensitive to the anti-smoking comments. Yesterday she announced that she was giving up smoking. Until she does she has no chance with John.” (Annsyre)

“I do think that underlying her banter, that Josie is quite insecure.” (Cazarella) 

"She was very insecure that day but he did really hurt her feelings later that night which ended up in her not talking to him. She had very high barriers and he was knocking them down. Nobody knows how she had been treated before hand for her to feel insecure." (Lorweir) 

COME SIT OVER HERE JOSE..COME SIT OVER HERE..COME HERE (James 32 video):

The clip starts out with Dave all excited that they are up to over £900 each now with the pay they get daily for being in the house. John is setting out a towel on the floor and then with a boyfriend-level of bossiness uses the line from the video title to get Josie away from the lads she is laying down with and all to himself! 

JOSIE: Alright, in a minute. 

JOHN: (Impatient) No now!

Hurriedly she does as she is told and as such she is rewarded with the stairway to heaven of cute cuddles in the background - which you'd miss if you blink! 

JOHN: (sweetly) I love you. 

It cuts away shortly and when they return John tells Josie not to be a b*tch which dumbfounds her as she doesn't feel she has been. It turns out John is displeased that she hasn't been on bogie watch for him as he had a big one which she hadn't pointed out! Josie has a snicker that John has kicked up a fuss that he hasn't seen her, because they live in a one bedroom house! 

I think James 32 hit the nail on the head in the description saying that John has grown tired of Josie spending time with Andrew and not him! He was the one that wanted to monopolise her all day long so it really rubbed him up the wrong way that she was keeping close company with the milky bar kid, over him. I enjoyed their fun bickering so it's such a shame that the day panned out the way it did, when it could have been a night full of wonder and magic. But doesn't that always happen when things are going great, really great.. TOO great.. then you GRATE on each other. 

"Awwww John telling Josie to lie down next to him, then giving her a quick hug cant do without being next to her anywhere bless." (Mamajean)

I CAN'T BE ARGUMENTATIVE IF I'VE GOT NO ONE TO ARGUE WITH (James 32 video) :

Josie is discussing with John how Nathan started to get all moody with her but she feels a bit out of order. Nathan had only snapped at John once when Benny was doing the comedy thing and Nate was trying to tell Ben how to do it; Nathan thought he ought to have a pop at Davina so John advised against it as he might get booed. (SC) 'But other than that and Crab eyes it wasn't really anything to write home about!' 

She does like him and that's why she felt a bit out of order and hopes BB haven't broadcast what she said about feeling awkward sometimes. In the Diary room she had also called him miserable and they'd asked her who she'd prefer to stay; JOHN had been her answer considering that Nathan is not a pleasure to be around. She'd been saying how lovely John is in comparison to the miserable Mancunian so this is why she is feeling a bit out of order, John can't comment as he seriously doesn't know. 

Nathan had sensed that Josie was being off with him and spoke to her about it .. because Jose thought John was definitely going on the previous eviction she didn't really talk to Seahorse at the sofa. She'd apologised for not giving him any attention with the excuse that she really thought John James was going. Nathan had replied that she just doesn't know that but Jose errrrr-ed to her mate thinking she did. She went to hug him goodbye but he turned away and didn't want to know. 

John picks out the wedge in his shorts and is surprised to learn this as every time she entered a room, Nathan had wowwwwed Josie Josie! It had also not gone unobserved by John that Nathan was louder on his last 3 days than he had the whole time he was there. Things changed between her and Nathan when he'd accused them of smashing Steve's stuff up so she didn't really have a lot of time for him after. He'd gone off his off and made the situation about 20 times worse over a stupid little fort when they were only having a laugh! They didn't even brush past any of Corin's wigs. 

Parton mm's along in all the right places and asks if Corin was upset yesterday because of Seahorse leaving; he hadn't realised she was that close to him. Josie doesn't see Coz as being particularly close to anyone in the house so Nathan was the closest person she did have. (SC) Josie hates seeing people upset and doesn't like it; John doesn't either but as far as he's concerned Corin could have avoided it because she didn't need to come in the room (SC) 

JOHN: So I wasn't chasing after her.. I didn't chase after her, not once. You know how I normally follow people around and going, going and going? It wasn't like that. She kept coming back in the room. 

If she really wanted to avoid him she could have stayed out, but she came back about 5 times and John even said to her 'are you still talkin'?' He finds it funny how people accuse him of being argumentative when he can't if he has no one to argue with. (Longer SC) People told him he'd changed when he just couldn't be bothered arguing about one situation but normally he would go on and on and on. John is switched on that BB don't want arguments to be a 5 second thing and boy oh boy did they get more than they bargained for later on that evening! :( 

Was he letting the crab eyes situation fester under the surface until he did something big and passive aggressive? Or was he looking for a reason to take things and his emotions out on Josie because he really needed to talk with her about what transpired that day, but T of T and BB prevented him from mentioning the skype with his Mum and friends. Or was it in fact Josie that had been spoiling for the fight as everything between them was all rosy and lovely.. and it frightened her? 

3.57pm, Josie says Sunshine and Andrew would have made a good couple.

JOHN: If Benny is asked to do the dishes, he'll do them. If he is told, he won't.

Josie agrees that she's like that and John does to some degree... gives Ben as an example and Sunshine with the crisps and says he's bit like that. Then says something about how he cant be blamed for...as he's an only child, was spoilt and had no brothers and sisters.